Question for Men

I would love to know as well...

 

For me it was like the fantasy is a mind parasite and porn is the food it feeds on. Triggering would be like the fantasy creature smells the kind of food it eats and kind of wakes up and goes after it.

In a way it's not even smart enough to know what sex is but obviously there's this deep conditioning.. It's primitive and simple in it's understanding but it can influence thinking and behavior on many levels - ie lie to myself with rationalizations.

 

Whenever I see a beautiful women, and this is all subjective, so I can't speak for all men. What happens to "me" when "I" get "triggered", I sometimes do get a "sexual fantasy train" going. I start to get hot literally, its because of my blood flow getting me in the "ready to mate" vibe. I start to undress the woman in my mind sometimes. I think of postions and shit. If the woman smells nice because of perfume I start to really lose my mind. It usually happens to me when I see woman that are hot like those of pornos. I still have to control my habit of being superficial sometimes. I know what your husband goes through but its no excuse to get on PM. He must be so horny that has to vent this energy off on porn. If I had a woman I would vent it off on her damn tell him that next time!

 

I hope that makes sense, I am not saying that just as a nice metaphor but it does feel like it had a life of its own.. I can see how there's kind of two parts, the fantasy and the porn. The fantasy part can latch on to non-porn stuff, things which are socially acceptable and even considered positive - but being out of touch with reality is never a good idea...

 

It seems like a consistent thing in the thread is, anywhere you ogle or trigger, it's either horny or want to Get horny by seeing them naked Or in a fantasy, all by their brains?

 

If I understand the question correctly .. you are asking: when a man gets triggered when he sees a beautiful woman,
(A) does he want to have sex with that woman? / masturbate thinking of that woman?
or
(B) does he want to have sex/masturbate/etc.?

Is that what you are asking?

 

I just realized there has been no external triggers during this streak, the brief urges has all been internal from previous porn related thought forms. I've actually watched R rated movies and TV-MA shows where there's nudity but I don't think of that as real. Of course porn isn't very realistic either, I mean the bad acting ... in my experience it was like at times I willed myself to believe it, even though it is clearly not very believable. Explicit sure, but in no universe are such things to be considered realistic but is really rather face-palmish. It's a wonder that it ever worked. And when it comes to shows that are not porn, I think my inner BS detector has that skepticism like the scenario is too perfect and is therefore not realistic.

I think a part of my mind now recognizes that my feelings are irrelevant, they are not even a person that is either there when it comes to porn or one that I know if they are there, and pessimism can work in my favor in jumping to the conclusion that with 'someone like them' it wouldn't be possible anyway so that thought is terminated very early. Note this doesn't come from bad self esteem, it's just differentness of people - though it is admittedly a judgement.

 

Not trying to, just trying to understand.
It should have had a question mark at the end.

 

I fixed it

 

I wanted to try to answer this question as well. As noted above I think most people personalize how they use the term "triggered". In the most general terms I use triggered as some event/image that makes it more difficult for me to remain true to my goals.

For me I tend to be more strongly triggered by images more so than real people. It can seem kind of random. Like one time just seeing a non sexual image of a woman with a certain body type caused me a momentary intense desire to watch P featuring a woman of similar body type.

To more specifically respond to the above, seeing women in real life can be triggering as well. It does not always lead to sexual thoughts. Sometimes it can just be annoying. Like I'm trying to control my gaze and there happens to be multiple attractive women in a store where I'm shopping. However, my thoughts have turned to sexual scenarios as well. I remember this ended up happening after I saw the same woman multiple times.

Personally I have never M'd to thoughts of other women I have seen in real life (aside from when I was much younger) or thought of them when having relations with my wife. The much more likely scenario would be that seeing an attractive woman could "spark" the desire to eventually use P. Once using P I would forget about the memory of the woman which may have contributed towards using it.