No Sex for 12 months with partner of 10 years

Also, she is not having sex for 10 months? Dude chicks cant go that long , something smells funny here...

 

Ever heard of the marriage course? Even if you're not married it might be worth your time, helping you figure some of that stuff out with your partner.

 

Depending on how long you have been watching pmo for, it can take a year or more to get back to normal.

Day 299 here.

What did it for me was reading a book called, your brain on porn by Gary Wilson. He explains how pmo impacts your brain and into depression like feeling called flatline when you reboot, a bit like uncertainty . After that my life took a turn for the better. He also advocates a healthy lifestyle .

Also, setting a Internet blocker to reduce adult content rids the problem by 75%, willpower alone is not sufficient. It will strengthen your desire to overcome pmo. When you watch p or do pmo you’re prefrontal cortex is effected. It impairs your mental health.

I’d also recommend the book translated by @HMHU , it’s called rebooting as best remedy and explains things from Chinese medicine point of view about dangers of pmoing. Search his name at top of this page or search, 6 years clean in the forum search bar. I’ve downloaded the kindle pdf and am reading it it’s amazing a life changing book.

You are a good person, you are not your addiction! Habits can get in the way but can be undone. It takes 30 days to form a habit. You have a life outside of addiction.

 

Well sex is not the only thing in relationship. Maybe she too is satisfied with porn(I Dont know just guessing, why not?). Give a try as i say, You be the matured one or the problem solving person and talk to her regarding daily basis things, this way keep your communication with her. Next, go on trips( This will make your relationship better for sure). Right now dont think of sex, use your energy release from NOfap on charming her or making the relationship interesting. Dude Sometimes people are like that, It doesnt mean that we dont have to take the first step and breath life into relationship. Just get a interesting bond between you two. Talk to her and ask her why she is behaving like that( her problems, You dont know whats she is going throught), tell her your problems. Start sharing things and thoughts, in the beginning if she doesnt share also no problem. You share your thoughts and ideas and situations. With time she will start. After all this also if she is like that and your situations are like that then we cant do anything(You two may not meant to be together). What i am saying is "You do your part as a partner". If she is cheating on you, Dont accept it (Get rid of her).

 

You stated this thread few months ago. Did you two had any talk?did you took any new steps with her? Just curious...

 

Sex was the bait and you are the fish.

 

Point to think of. Hmmm

 

Well you didn't try to talk somehow? All this time?

 

How are you still alive? 12 months of relationship to a person who denies you sex... I would get away from her. I wouldn't even call this a relationship. Oh, and quit porn, too.

 

I think I can understand. You probably will disappoint others, there is no way around that. You still need to "cut the losses", as they say in my business. Stay any longer and you will suffer much more.

 

Get to therapy yourself first. Show her you are committed to recovery. If she will come with you, that's a good step. If you cannot work things out after a few sessions, time to call it a day. If the desire is there to fix it on both sides, then fix it and maybe things will seem a lot better. Can you imagine how good the make up sex would be if you guys can solve this? The dog is just an excuse. Good luck. I think there's hope.

 

If you haven’t talked to her about this than that is step one, sit her down and tell her you want to talk to her.

Does she know you’re doing NoFap and rebooting?

 

All this may be a cover up something in both side. As you are keeping the fapping secret(we all do) and showing something else outside and the real problem remain unnoticed. Dog helps not to escalate things to another level.

 

Poor doogie

 

This. Insert knife; twist.

Ten years seems worth the effort to try to salvage. Consider revisiting the couples counseling idea.

Agree on the dog. Irreplaceable.