That was my last reset date for M. I didn't usually M to P so without P right then but probably some fantasy at the time on my mind. It was usually a P or M reboot back then, not P. I've seen P sometimes since. Usually just a peek with weeks between. It doesn't hold much appeal without M. Not justifying. I know it's still bad. Add on: last time I Med to P straight up was April 2012.
My other big issue was the Gaslighting. My libido was My fault.?? I want to have sex with you and you have a problem with it because I'm horny? I'm so horrible because I want you? But we had sex yesterday And to find out that he'd watched porn 2 hours that day later and Med. Excuse me? I'm waiting for you. But I want sex. It's sooooo horrible. *rolls eyes
He doesn't do that anymore. But he used to do that until after 6-9 months clean for sure. He really had to get over the bump of it. He said totally abstaining from porn... The 9-10month was the most difficult
Ok I hate to admit this it's so childish, but I used to blame my wife (in my head) for my P&M. Like,"you won't M for me while I watch... then I'll find a video of some girl on the internet doing it. You can't stop me from getting what I want". All very passive aggressive behind her back. So embarrassing. Haven't done something like that for many years.
But all Wall-E wanted was Eva. Irony. Fantastic movie. It took two robots to give humans back their humanity.
And I'm sure most men do/did I know that my SO had admitted recently a bunch of stuff to me. Its very healing. At least I think so. He's very transparent tho. I write all about it in my journal. The ups and downs. Everything. It can get gnarly. But it also makes people cry (or so they say) in happiness. It's quite a Rollercoaster
What is the worst part of PMO? The lying about it for years. Replacing sex with me with PMO. Me sharing my fantasies and bedroom activities with him that I thought were all new and fresh and exciting while he was indulging in them on his own for years prior. Sex being about him and his needs. Devaluing me and my body. Not appreciating sex with me and thinking it would be better with other women. Is it the content of the P? P in any form or even P subs drives me crazy as it replaces me. The fact that your partner wants to see it regardless of content? Yep Does the M bother you even if no P is involved? Not nearly as much. Would it bother you if P was involved but never M? Absolutely
Been thinking about this. Maybe... Just maybe The Japanese have that game that dates you and makes decisions... So I won't rule it out
The Japanese are the largest producer of robots so it stands to reason they will lead the sexbot revolution. Reminds of this song: The robots won't rise up and kill us. They will f**k us into slavery. @Kenzi : now that's a mofoing tshirt!