Why I deactivated Facebook. And why you should consider it to

Haha you hit the nail on the head bro
Real talk
I sometimes look through the list of my 200 or so "friends" on fb, and most of them I think - I don't even know this person lol.
I mostly just scroll down past the narcissistic bullshit looking through prank videos and other poinltess shit that just wastes time that could otherwise be spent on more constructive activities. I also dont get how some people could have like 1000+ friends lol. Not possible and why would you even want to... to look popular on social media of course. Its such a shame what has become of modern culture, humans seeking virtual connections rather than real experiences with others, fueled by social pressure to have as many "followers" in order to self validate for FEAR of being rejected, and of course the sexualisation and objectification of women which sees thousands of men fapping until they are mindless zombies, numb to the real world.
Thank you for this post brother, words cannot express how much in agreement I am with you.

 

I deleted my Facebook years ago, and I can say, there have only been a small handful of times in which I regretted it. And most of those times were just because people tend to post stuff on Facebook and just assume everyone will know, like invites to events and such, so it's harder to get that information without Facebook.

But I totally agree with everything OP said. Not having a Facebook has also made me soooo much more excited to meet new people in real life and also to see old friends in real life. Used to be, when I'd see an old friend at the store, if they were too far away I would say "oh, I'll send them a message on Facebook later to tell them I saw them." But now I actually want to walk over and see how they're doing. Why? Because I don't already know how they're doing. Without facebook, I have absolutely no idea what's been going on in their life, so catching up is actually fun and serves a purpose.

It's also forced me to really assess who my close friends are. Who I want to invest time in by texting or calling or emailing. And those forms of communication are so much more personal, because I actually do care about what they have to say, and they care about what I have to say.

Recently I've been reflecting on older times, when the people who were your friends were the people who were near you, in close proximity. We don't need to have hundreds of friends. I think it's better to have a few really good, close friends than to have hundreds of superficial ones. So rather than scrolling Facebook when I'm bored, I'm forced to actually choose a person to talk to, via text or other methods. Facebook is full of false connection. It makes you feel like you're connected to people, when in reality, you might not be at all.

 

this is a righteous thread. the uses of social media and the depth we give it is such a toxic thing man, and it's basically a drug, yknow? quitting it all when I was in high school definitely made me a happier person

 

Almost a year ago I also stopped using FB and sites like that.
They're just a major waste of time. If people who want to get in touch with me think it's too much of a hassle to call as opposed to text on Facebook, well in that case I don't even want them to contact me. They're not worthy of my time.

In general I think facebook, instagram and all those other sites turn people in to over sensitive narcicissts. that combined with porn.. holy shit.
I know people who are in their 30s and even they are completely consumed by "social media". For the new generations of kids that get their first iPhone when they turn 5.. I see no hope for them.

 

I don't find anything problematic with Facebook. I only have a handful of friends, who really are my friends. I never understood all that business of people having hundreds of friends (most of whom they didn't know). I find it good as a real time messaging service and I use Skype a bit as well (but even less). It is a tool, nothing more or less as far as I am concerned. People that have a problem with it, are simply unable to manage and organise their life and time it seems.

 

I'm always my most happiest when I deactive social media. It's the death of society!

 

It's just depend on how the person use it. I'm a proponent of the idea: Facebook is a total waste of time. In fact, and not uncommon, I was a victim. Useless scrolling, not-so-useful information, over-positive presentation (I can relate that to porn: it's all acting; the person who smile on the picture maybe, in fact, does not enjoying the gathering or event) and also non-intellectual conversations, the greatest procrastination platform ever invented.

Sometimes, if most of my friends are having their sem break or holiday we may open up a gathering. A girl I know was my primary school classmate, she is kinda 'popular' in her university. She is kinda selfie fanatic as you could expect, and yea, after the gathering I can't help but to think that she's here mainly for taking pictures to upload on her Facebook and Instagram; she was so obsessed of taking pictures, I an barely feel her attention in our gathering there.

I don't have any social media app on my phone and I'm glad to keep it that way. Now if I would open my Fb I have to use my laptop and there's the only things I will do: check any important Notifications, Messages, or friend request; and NEVER SCROLL DOWN, then close it off.

 

I agree with both the original post of this thread and the comments above. I think it's all in how the tool is used. FB can sometimes tend to drive us to create this idealistic false self that isn't genuine. We show off all our best parts (vacation pics, kids events we attend, fancy food we eat, etc.) and can get lured into this comparison game of how is my life compared to those I'm friends with. That being said, I also see the point @Namekian23 is making in that FB is a tool and can be used for good and bad. It all depends on how you are using it, if it's a balanced approach in moderation and how it is affecting the quality of your life. It can be detrimental, a huge time drain, create a sense of dissatisfaction if you play the comparison game, etc. It also can create a sense of belonging and allow you to connect with others (assuming you are using it to do that in meaningful, real ways that aren't surface level and superficial) that you might not be able to otherwise keep in touch with. Connections with others are a key part of the recovery process. The challenge is to keep it in perspective. I believe it should only be used as a substitute for healthy real face to face connections and intimacy where you can't have those in person. If it allows you to connect with friends and family that are at a distance and that you can't see face to face for that reason there is some great value in that FB connection as a second best choice and as opposed to not having any connection. However, if you spend all your time connecting and interacting with people online and on FB while sacrificing face to face connections then it's out of balance. If you choose the online method of connection with folks that you could have face to face interactions with (for ex. family and friends that are geographically close, etc.) then you are somewhat keeping them at a distance and not allowing a deeper level of intimacy and connection that can only happen face to face.

I feel as addicts we also need to be careful when it comes to anything that is isolating us and keeping us alone. FB, social media, even these forums can have that affect. Those kinds of isolating activities help feed the addiction. Don't get me wrong, those kinds of online connections have their place and serve a helpful purpose too. However, we are wired for intimacy and connection and so need to be around other people, be real and authentic, be genuine and ask others to help us in times of need. I try to view connections with that lens when deciding is it helpful for me in the recovery process or not. Should I be having this connection face to face? Is that possible? And if not (perhaps because of distance) is online an acceptable alternative? If it is possible to have the connection face to face, why am I choosing the easier/safer route of connecting online instead of face to face? Sometimes the answer is that it feels safer online. Less risky and less chance of rejection. I can also be less authentic online (not good when trying to recover). For me it's harder to fake face to face. I also need to ask myself am I balanced in all my connections and interactions? Are the majority of them online? Face to face? If that is out of balance I think it's a problem as well and is something that I need to work toward as a goal in terms of bringing a healthy balance too. That takes time though. If you feel you have more online connections then face to face you can't just change that overnight. That's going to take hard work, risk, being vulnerable and lots of time to build up those meaningful face to face connections too. It's a process.

 

That's precisely why I do not go on. The validation aspect as well as the depression and feeling how shitty your life is compared to these other people. My life is not shitty, but Facebook makes me feel it is. Everything I go on Facebook I end up relapsing. Every single time. There's more than enough acknowledge able triggers as well as unacknowledgeable triggers. Tread carefully fellow Fapstronauts...

 

Couldn't agree more! I quit Facebook two years ago and it was one of the best decisions I could make for my social health. No more OCD - Obsessive COMPARISON Disorder.

 

Lol. I deleted mine. I don't know if and when I may go back but it's not on the calendar this year.

 

Good for you for leaving facebook. Fuck the zuckerturd is my motto.

 

Not having facebook is a good filter to remove "shallow woman".

Girls that don't want to date you because you don't have facebook are usally so shallow or insecure that they are really bad in a relationship. Yes i've had girls who rejected me because i didn't had Facebook.

1. it are the girls who post hot pictures on social media to get attention(sluts)
2. Or girls who want to change the way you are because her friends won't like you
3. Girls who want to fallow you and make sure you don't cheat jealous type
4. the girl who seeks a beta male provider. a girl who loves the atention and even in a relationship keeps posting hot pictures.
5. Girls who will not like you because you have certain hobbies passions she doesn't like (looking at you're facebook who you are)
6. The girl who is shallow and wants her boyfriend to have certain looks,friends, hobbies , passions if he doesn't DUMPED

 

Imo... And no I'm choosing not to be humble about it.

Anybody who says that they use Facebook to "keep in touch with family"
Doesn't want their family to have their phone number.
Or worse, wont to make time to call.
Because if grandma can use a computer, she can damn well pick up the phone.
It's bullshit.
It's all bullshit and bullshit is falling from your mouth if you say you have a excuse for it.

Exception- I get there are work accounts for networking and business profiles so people can look you up.
I'm speaking of people profiles.

It's not just about your actions, but the actions you let others have on You by making yourself vunerable.
Hey, if you are the one making yourself a target, you don't get to whine about it... And that's the problem with today. Everything from.....
"I posted this and nobody liked it"!
Or "I was robbed, how did they know where it was?"!
Maybe, it's because they saw it in the back of that selfie you posted of your room on FB.... Duh.

And I could go on, but I'm not going to.


--this might be the most opinionated thing I've written on NoFap.

 

Hi! I totally agree with you, the sad thing is that I'm still studying and, yes it's funny, many of the teachers manage a group of facebook for keeping on touch with the students, so I decided to open facebook only to check out the notifications, and I don't enter to all of them, just the ones related to the school groups. Facebook made me really really mad, triggers everywhere, stupid things to get angry for nothing and a lot of fake friends, that's why I call it Fakebook. Just one day I was really really mad and erased 30 friends and published it and almost everyone over there didn't like my publications anymore and it was like "OK, whatever". Facebook is a shit, but I have to keep it until I finish the University

 

OMG really? That's unexpected but logic.

 

Hmm maybe I'll deactivate mine temporarily and see how different I feel.

 

Too funny. I'm sometimes tempted to go back, but have to admit my motivation is shallow and my use would be unproductive. Also, I'm easily triggered (I relapsed twice this month...), so it wouldn't be a wise decision.