The Women in Porn Videos are Too Attractive

That's a good point about "what women actually feel and want during sex"... Yea the porn videos is just straight lustfulness, nothing much really more, at least in the videos I watched

What do women actually feel and want during sex? Do you know from experience like talking to a woman about this?

 

Thanks for your honest response. Yea for me, its the combination of how attractive I think they are, and then the incredibly slutty things they are doing in the videos. My mind goes on complete overdrive and it is too crazy to see. Its like I am injected with the strongest drug ever created: "tasting" an attractive woman's sexuality. Its too much haha, too strong of a stimulus.

But I am almost a week in on this current streak, so starting to get out of the porn crazed mindset again finally

 

Do you recommend any particular reading? I have heard of this technique before, but I have never tried using it before. I have imagined a woman's bones when I see an attractive girl walking. I imagine her skeleton moving, and try not to see the flesh. That I have done before a few times a long time ago.

So you think I should view pictures of medical surgeries and autopsies? Any good place you find these images? just random searches on the internet? I have heard this described as the "unclean" view before, and described as a very effective way to combat lust

 

Yea, true. And yea I agree I think a lot of the pornstars would still look pretty good without makeup. But you are right, I'm not the one having sex with them, there truly is not positive point in watching these videos. I gain nothing from it. Its just like injecting myself with a sex drug and then it wears off after the ejaculation and I have to go through withdrawal

 

Lets get hip to the game and redefine what we see as being attractive instead of feeling like these complete husks are "soo sexy".

Porn is souless and lifeless and turns people into husks both as pornstars and as viewers, remembering this keeps me in the recognition that I dont really find what I see attractive in porn its just that since I (as almost all of us did) started BEFORE I KNEW WHAT IT WAS THAT I WAS SEEING (please think deeply this is a huge part of the "secret") it got programmed into me that what I was seeing was just what I was convinced that I saw but this was not the reality of what was before my eyes.

I was convinced that I saw someone I wanted to have sex with, in reality if I calmly think about it for more than a moment I feel so freaking blessed I never was even in the same room with those people because they are repulsive and insane. Stop believing porn is "hot" its not actually attractive its just a "high" and a "drug", would you call heroin or cocaine sexy?

 

It’s a good point, the only problem with the is way of thinking, is that I will think to myself “yea, she may be a pile of ash and bones in the future, but RIGHT NOW she looks super hot”

So that’s the problem with trying to contemplate things like this… my logical mind will know I’m just “creating” this sort of contemplative way of viewing the situation, and I’ll end up turning against this contemplative way of thinking because I’ll know deep down in my core that this is not what I really believe

I think that’s the problem with all the different things out there like in religion of trying not to “sin”… because deep down we know we actually really do want to do certain things…. But for one reason or another we are unable to act on our desires, so we create reasons why we actually don’t want to do certain things, when the truth is that we really do

So I think a solution to PMO is to have a reason we truly believe in to stop… I think imagining women as bones is a good way to stop lusting in a certain moment… but for long term I think we need something deeper… because the truth is I also am going to be bones and ash one day…. So I will think to myself “I’d like to have sex with this hot woman before we both become ash”

 

I would be extremely (EXTREMELY) careful with thinking like this without accounting for exactly why your led to believe that "deep down you want certain things". Often times the mind is warped in ways we dont realize so as to lead us away from what we really do want.

 

O yea definitely, I believe an average woman can be just as attractive as the porn girls. And if I had a girlfriend I don’t think I’d even want to view the porn videos, as long as I really liked/loved my girlfriend

I’m just in a current life situation where not any time and not a stable financial or life situation to meet one

so then the hot girls online become very alluring, because I have no real options right now anyways

 

For sure, yea I agree. I should have phrased my wording better and meant purely in regard to wanting to have sex. I know a warped mind could for example think “ deep down I truly want to murder that person”.

I just meant like seeing a hot girl either online or in person and trying to convince myself I really don’t find her attractive since she will be a pile of bones some day. Because this would be false for me since it’s just a conjured up view of the woman, who I actually am attracted to, maybe even moreso because she will be a pile of ash some day and I therefore have more compassion for her and want to make her feel good

 

dont think of it at all as rejecting your instinct to find women attractive, think of it as rejecting the inclination to turn that attraction simply into sex. something I learned as I got older is that a lot of whats best and most true in being attracted to women is simply resting and being present with them and sharing the simple things in life, a mans attraction to a woman is not utterly sexual in nature and sex does not gratify men as much as they are duped into believing. resting and having a heart to heart situation is infinitely more uplifting than sex for the purpose of getting your rocks off. consider this.

 

Alright, thanks for the perspective, sounds like a good, healthy way to view women that isn’t based on a lie I am telling myself

 

Thanks, in the future maybe

 

I thought about this, but realised, what attracts me by far the most in porn is actually that every single body can be sexual. That you don't have to be attractive to be in porn, and that there is a major distinction between attractiveness and sexual attractiveness. Most of the time for me personally, they don't align. I can find someone super hot without finding them attractive at all. Diversity in porn is what I find most arousing because it creates a sense of perpetual novelty.

 

Interesting perspective… I’d say for me porn is most arousing because the girls act in a “submissive” way. In day to day life, girls don’t act like that with me, but in the porn videos, they do, even though it’s not with me.

So there’s this contradiction in my thoughts during the day… what I’d like to do, versus what I’m actually doing. And then pornography is like taking a step closer to doing what I actually want to do, even though it’s not really me doing it

But another poster on here talked about seeing things with women as a way to feeling good from a relationship versus focusing so much on the sexual aspects, so I’m going to try and alter my perspective a little bit