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Should You Have Sex with Your SO During a Reboot?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by YourLocalClown, Apr 19, 2023.

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What is your opinion on having sex with your partner during a reboot?

  1. Yes, it adds to the experience and can bring you closer.

    6 vote(s)
    20.0%

  2. No, it can be distracting and take away from the purpose of the reboot.

    1 vote(s)
    3.3%

  3. It depends on the individual and their relationship with their partner.

    23 vote(s)
    76.7%
  1. Apr 19, 2023 #1
    YourLocalClown

    YourLocalClown Fapstronaut

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    Only answer the poll question if you have experience with your partner.

    Is it wise to have sex with your significant other during a reboot, for example after 2 weeks? If so, how does the partner of the addict experience it? And how does the partner of the addicted partner experience it?
     
    YourLocalClown, Apr 19, 2023
    YourLocalClown, Apr 19, 2023
    #1
  2. Apr 19, 2023 #2
    tawwab1

    tawwab1 Fapstronaut

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    Yes. Porn addiction works by creating a parallel pleasure system in your brain that's totally different from and opposed to real sex. The two can't exist in one brain, it's like fire and water. Having real intimacy will weaken the porn system and strengthen the real sex system. There is something called the chaser effect to be aware of, though. Having an orgasm can make you more vulnerable to urges. But my experience is that good sex only helps recovery.
     
    tawwab1, Apr 19, 2023
    tawwab1, Apr 19, 2023
    #2
    Batski Bee, In The Moment, rejected and 1 other person like this.
  3. Apr 19, 2023 #3
    Rostrock47

    Rostrock47 Fapstronaut

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    I think it's better to have intercourse than not to...
     
    Rostrock47, Apr 19, 2023
    Rostrock47, Apr 19, 2023
    #3
    Batski Bee likes this.
  4. Apr 19, 2023 #4
    OLLIE_100

    OLLIE_100 Fapstronaut

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    I think it depends on how disciplined you are with some guys having a gf and engaging in sex can actually free them from porn as it is more fulfilling to have a relationship but some guys however remain lustful and start to use girls for sex so it depends on an individual
     
    OLLIE_100, Apr 19, 2023
    OLLIE_100, Apr 19, 2023
    #4
  5. Apr 21, 2023 #5
    hope4healing

    hope4healing NoFap Moderator
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    I know some couples have tried it and found it very helpful. After a period of hard mode (15-30 days, for example), they do karezza for the remainder of the reboot. Those who I've talked to about it say that it was very helpful in rebuilding a deeper intimacy and that it allowed them to still feel close to their partner while also getting the benefits of the reboot. A lot of people automatically think it's a bad idea and that it won't be helpful for them. Or, they think it'll make it too hard to continue the reboot, but they are surprised to find out otherwise when they actually try it. I realize it isn't for everyone, but it might be worth a shot.
     
    hope4healing, Apr 21, 2023
    hope4healing, Apr 21, 2023
    #5
    +TenPercent, EyesWideOpen, Thor God of Thunder and 1 other person like this.
  6. Apr 21, 2023 #6
    Kn0wbie

    Kn0wbie Fapstronaut

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    I’m working on a 90 day reboot and for the first time in my life hoping my SO doesn’t want to have sex!! I’d prefer to get as clean a run at this as I can!

    But if she does… I’ll try to focus on pleasing her… and avoid any focus on an O for me! If I do O… it will only be as she wants me to and that in itself will be worlds apart from what drove me to O before.
     
    Kn0wbie, Apr 21, 2023
    Kn0wbie, Apr 21, 2023
    #6
    KevinesKay likes this.
  7. Jun 28, 2023 #7
    Real Jerry Seinfeld

    Real Jerry Seinfeld Fapstronaut

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    I've done NoFap in a relationship and single and it's way easier when in a relationship. If you can have sex with your other half, you can pretty easily quench your sexual urges. Single, it really depends on whether you can find a partner that evening. I've actually never done it whilst being celibate and can't imagine how hard that would be. And why make it harder than it really needs to be?
     
    Real Jerry Seinfeld, Jun 28, 2023
    Real Jerry Seinfeld, Jun 28, 2023
    #7
  8. Sep 6, 2023 #8
    EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    During my husband's reboot we still had sex but he found it actually made it more difficult because orgasm created the chaser effect. He decided he wanted to start over and abstain. He found abstaining completely helped him reset his brain much more easily and after about 30 days we started doing karezza like @hope4healing mentioned. It was very healing and connecting.
     
    EyesWideOpen, Sep 6, 2023
    EyesWideOpen, Sep 6, 2023
    #8
    +TenPercent, hope4healing, Thor God of Thunder and 1 other person like this.
  9. Sep 6, 2023 #9
    Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

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    I’m saying “it depends” because it’s the “right” answer, but realistically I’ve found more people deciding they need the hard reboot. In theory it’s good to retrain your brain to understand what real, good physical intimacy is, but it’s too close to PMO and an addict will typically end up using his partner, not being with her.

    In the end, we have to learn how to live without sex before we can learn to live with it.
     
    Meshuga, Sep 6, 2023
    Meshuga, Sep 6, 2023
    #9
    Warfman and EyesWideOpen like this.

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