In The Moment

Feeling very, very down today. Not something I'm going to act on. Just noticing how crappy I feel.

Being triggered, walking away, being triggered, walking away...

What a rush this life is!

Relapse, restart, repeat.

This addiction is kicking my ass right now.

Just working on feeling everything physical, mental, spiritual a little more each day.

I have CPTSD. Interesting.

The only thing worse than my addiction is my awareness of every moment that I am coming up short in terms of fighting it.

Tension in my shoulders. Doesn't need to be addressed. But just trying to be aware of things like that.

AI will be both gloriously beneficial and relentlessly evil at the same time.

It comes in waves. Short, intense waves of the addiction. Long, calm waves of peace.

Dangerously close to edging this morning. Kept clean, but was a little sloppy in not jumping to alternative activities.

Just swirling around the edge. Hoping not to descend, I'm enjoying the "going around in circles" today.

Trying to envision a "clean" me.

Spiral out.

:(

Still don't like where I am right now.

Really getting inappropriately close to O. Stupid.

Feeling better today. Resolved, I'd describe the mood.

Guess who is struggling today.