Seeing therapist for porn addiction

Well, I think that it's nice because you can vent out your frustrations and issues with PMO, but I personally would be embarrassed to talk to anyone about this kind of topic, especially a woman. I can't see what she could reasonably do to help ameliorate the difficulty of PMO.

Of course it's your choice and sorry if this sounds stupid or anything like that but these are my thoughts

 

I've read tons of threads posted by people who did. The general consensus was that it wasn't helpful. The generally accepted expert opinion is masturbation is healthy. Most of the posters stated when they opened up about their porn problem, the psychologist basically discounted their experience as if they didn't take the issue even remotely serious. You may have a different experience so you may as well see how it goes.

They probably wont direct you any better than the information you can find on this site. You do have some members that post pure crazy bullshit but alot of the info I got from members here has been very helpful and insightful. Theres no easy way to beat addictions like these besides perserverence and positive lifestyle changes.

 

Hey my friend,
I think it can be a very good idea. These people know how to deal with addictions and mood swings, feelings of guilt, sadness, root causes of addictions...
Talking to a real person can be very relieving imho, but it's up to you ofcourse to decide you really want to be open about it irl.
Good luck on your decision and on your reboot !

 

Personally therapists have never helped me and have been rubbish, but others swear by them. You could do that if you don't have anybody to talk to about your issues, the only problem though mate is that they might not take you seriously because to them there is no such thing as "porn addiction".

Most are 100% biased and inject their own personal beliefs and ideas in their sessions, so naturally those buggers believe porn to be culturally acceptable. Instead of receiving help you may end up with them trying to convince and slowly steer you back to the thing you're trying to get rid of.

I'm sure not all of them are like that but a whole shiteload are, so that'll have to be a judgment call on your end mate. You can always attempt it and if you see they don't care, won't take yiu seriously, or aren't listening then try a different one.

 

I saw a therapist some years ago and it really did help me address some underlying issues in my life however the effects wore off over time.

My experience suggests that ongoing therapy would be helpful but who has the money for that?

If you do go to therapy see if they can give you some tools and techniques to support you in the longer term.

 

Do not pass up this opportunity! Make sure it's a CSAT or someone who teaches Patrick carnes methodologies imo. Counselors can do more damage than good if they don't know what they are doing.

 

Don't talk to the therapist about PMO, talk to them about the root of PMO. Don't know the root? Work out the root of your addition first and then go and see a therapist. I think half the problem is people on here go in expecting therapists to do the work of an AP but that not what therapist are there for. Therapy is there to get to the root of the problem. And of course you should find the therapist that's right for you, there are different therapist for different people.

 

Ok, I have to agree, it is difficult to find the right person and I was only thinking of my last therapist in my previous post.

In reality she was the third therapist I saw, the most expensive, and specialised in sex addiction and recovering from child abuse she actually worked to bring issues to the surface and address them, the others were absolutely biased and had a limited understanding of well, life. Here’s a brief review;

First therapist religion based (given my life experience I struggle with the whole god thing) he listened and tried to help but his overarching belief was to just trust in god, pray and healing would come, he even prayed over me at the end of each session. Sorry I don’t have that kind of faith.

Second therapist was a female divorcee. At the second or third session she declared that my life was totally stuffed and I needed to start over... quit my job, leave my wife, find a new place and just start over. WTF

Third therapist was great but what if I had listened to number two?

Cheers

 

I agree with some of this but I don't think everyone might be capable of figuring out or even recognizing the root cause before seeing a "professional".

 

I would say if you think about why you're doing it for sometime you will eventually have some idea of what the root is. Reading books might help you figuring it out as well.

I've heard therapist say that people expect them to be some sort of wizard who waves a magic wand and then cures them but it doesn't work like that. You need to work with them. Unfortunately not every therapist explains that.

 

Self diagnosis will only get you so far and for some that will be enough to leave orbit and not return to planet porn.

For others the issues are deeper, and self diagnose which has a degree of self-bias may lead to the wrong conclusion and not resolve the issue.

When approaching therapy give the full story, an overview of the issues, anything that you believe may be related or distantly related to the issue, and share what you believe to be the root cause but be prepared to have your reasoning questioned and open to other ways of looking at the problem.

 

And sometimes therapists do more harm than good, especially when most are biased and try to deal with you in a way that they believe is right. Not saying all therapy is bad especially when getting somebody highly skilled in CBT, but I wouldn't' discredit self diagnosis as it has helped many people with their problems where other things such as talk therapy has failed, did nothing to help, or even made them worse off than before.

 

Do it,
But talk therapy may be good or bad depending on the therapist. There is also EMDR, and people who are specifically well versed in sex addiction. All therapists are not created equal.

 

I would think it is more likely to be positive than otherwise. As you can access a free service, yes seriously consider it.

However, a free service suggests that a limited number of sessions might be offered to you. It may also suggest that it is a general counselling service rather than a specialised sex addition therapy. Getting the right kind of therapist, trained in the right kind of therapy is not always straight forward. For example, I can only see limited benefit in something like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). The reason I say that is because it deals with the here and now rather than the root causes of a pattern of behaviour. While it is pragmatic, it is unlikely to afford you much insight into why you have these issues.

In contrast long term psychodynamic psychotherapy (LTPP) would explore the pathway that brought you to where you are now. Once that has been established, there would be much work for you to do (under the guidance of the practitioner), to rebuild your life. This is something you have to understand. The sort of therapy you require is one where you do a great deal of work, which is a major commitment. Here again, this differs from the much lighter CBT talking therapy. If you are clinically hypersexual, a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT) is helpful. But that is unlikely in my opinion.

 

I went to a male therapist and initially it was a lot of help. Then eventually the cost/benefits swung the other way and I felt he was wasting my time and just dragging things out to keep getting my $165/hour. So I stopped going. But I’m doing so much better now with the help I did get from him.

I caution against female counselors. Men are going to understand men better than women, women are going to understand women better than men.

My counselor had struggled with porn addiction and fully understood what I was going through and was a huge encouragement.

 

Good evening, I think getting therapy is a great thing, but I don't know that it is wise to seek a woman counselor for help on this. I struggle with trusting men in general because of what happened to me in my youth, but honestly going to a male counselor was far more healing for me than what a woman counselor was. To be fair this counseling wasn't for porn addiction. However, a man is more likely to understand your struggles and it may help you learn to overcome your other issues with men because of your family.

 

Yep, I have to completely agree with you here. The two therapists I have seen and discussed my porn use with, both sort of "pooh-poohed" it, minimized it, invalidated what I was saying. Both these therapists were females. I'm currently still meeting with one of them. She has attempted to be more supportive over the course of our meetings, but revealed her bias early on. I've also felt much more comfortable speaking to female therapists about these sort of things too, but they give bad advice. I feel more embarrassed talking about my flaws to men, whereas I expect to be comforted by women. These are wrong beliefs. I'm seriously thinking of switching to a male therapist.
To the original poster, I would also recommend Smart Recovery groups. These are addiction recovery groups, and they include sexual addictions. They are secular and utilize cognitive-behavioral coping strategies. They have an online group for sex addicts on Sunday nights, as a matter of fact

 

Great questions!!! I’ll try to keep my response as brief as possible.

I have been trying to stay sober from PMO for about 10 years, with the past 3 years being the worst; trying to quit weekly and failing.

One of the biggest reasons I’m staying sober now is the honesty and opening up about all of my issues. I’m as honest as I can possibly be about my feelings and my life on a daily basis with friends, nofap, family and therapist (I talk about various issues with each social group. No all groups such as family need to know about my PMO addiction and problems, but someone needs to know.) my honesty with my parents is about my intense depression and anxiety that developed over the years. This is closely linked to my PMO, and the feeling that I will never be able to quit.

Going to a therapist for mental health reasons got the ball rolling. And for about 2 months of PMO sobriety I was still very depressed and sometimes suicidal. This was due to the taboo porn I ended up looking at over the years. And I was keeping it a secret because I was ashamed. I thought saying it out loud to someone would make it more true and I would be labeled a horrible person. The exact opposite happened. Eventually I got so scared of suicide, that I had to tell nofap friends, friends from SAA and finally my therapist. I finally began to heal. since that week I discussed the depths of my PMO addiction with my therapist, I haven’t had a suicidal thought.

I’ll also remind you and others, that some states have laws about divulging certain info to a therapist where they are legally obligated to tell authorities some details. So if you have looked at anything illegal, when talking about it stick to discussing legal only alternatives (example would be underage nudity. assure them that it was all legal clothed content or over 18 depicting younger etc...thoughts however aren’t illegal and can be freely discussed)

The result of me being honest and open about all of my issues and not holding onto any secrets about it, is when the healing finally started and I was able to move beyond PMO and start working on the underlying issues that I use PMO to run from.

As for female vs make therapist, I see a female cuz I have weird issues with men and don’t trust them. It’s not an issue for me at all.