Reboot Confession led to confession by SO. I feel hurt

YES! YES! And YES! All of that!

No she shouldn't have just gone and cheated to validate herself but seriously it took me a very long time to feel comfortable having a convo w my PA about being dissatisfied with our sex life and to ask him what was going on and why he didn't want me as much as I wanted him. It makes you vulnerable to getting hurt and no one likes to be vulnerable. Then he just lied to me anyway! So I get why she didn't just talk to him about it. They are still just getting to know each other.

 

Maslow was wrong. He actually puts sex on the same level as breathing, food, water, sleep, and excretion? Are you kidding?

Go without sex for 12 months and you'll be fine. Go without any of his other base needs for one month and you'll be dead.

Many people in this world lived full, fulfilling lives without sex because it was their choice to abstain. It didn't kill them ... because sex isn't a need.

 

Agreed. It can also be dangerous to think of sex as a need. If sex is considered a need the same way as water, then rape becomes more justifiable.

 

Just go into any hospital. There will be people, who are still alive, despite not eating, drinking or even breathing. So Maslov is proved wrong, right?
Just because you don´t need sex to survive, doesn´t mean it´s healthy to abstain from sex.
I know in america, the only thing you need to know is that sex is bad and you have to abstain from it. And that is exactly the cause for STD´s, teen pregnancy and of course porn addiction.
True that some people live perfectly fulfilling lives without sex. But that is rather the exception, now isn´t it?

Oh and I can´t really see the connection between rape and water, sorry.

 

Hey, question... How do we not know she did not think that because he could not get it up that he had anxiety about cheating and she was the other girl?
Or he had cheated and couldn't preform with her?
We don't know what their relationship was like.
Lots of women if they don't think porn think there is a real other woman.

 

But here's the thing, don't cheat.
Leave.

 

Read it, reread it.
This is the perfect summary of porn.

 

Are you serious??

 

Thank you @Properitas So true!

Also the whole maslow argument, I agree that sex is not a need. I survived 19 years without sex. I can't survive 19 years without food or water... just saying.

I also see how sex is a need in the way of emotional need to connect. But that doesn't excuse cheating.

I believe cheating is wrong, just stating that. But Properitas makes a great point, that the way the OP is feeling is how most of us SO's feel. We feel devestated, hurt, betrayed, horrified, humiliated beyond belief and yet most of the addicts on here tell us we should stay and support our partner. The fact that people are telling the OP to leave is complete BS double standard. He cheated on her (if she views it that way) and she cheated on him. They "cancel each other out" so how about they start fresh? Both make promises to each other not to cheat, and also define what cheating is and what boundaries they want in the relationship? Communication is key, people!

 

all the bullshit in this thread was worth it.... just for this distilled nugget!!! thank you @SuperFan