So, Monday a week ago my wife of 17 years dropped a bomb on me. She told me that she is not happy to the point of being miserable, and has the feeling that we need to really think about divorce. She and I seemed to be happy, although my ED has caused major intimacy problems during sex for 10 years or so. I have not been able to maintain an erection to finish sex with her for nearly that long. Or, I would not be able to O without using my hand after we had sex for a while. I would have to pull out and finish myself. This caused lots of self confidence issues for her and me in the long run. It got worse over time. Eventually, I didn't even want to ask about sex because I worried about my performance. Which led to constant PA. As I think back on events leading up to all of this, I keep going back to the times when our sex life was good and I would ask and she would not be in the mood. After our first child, she was not interested for long periods of time, 4, 5, 6 months. I began to use PMO to relieve my horny bug. Never really thought about it being a problem. Then after our second child, the issues really began to occur. She seemed to be in the mood more and more, and I was slowly but surely having more issues. I didn't recognize that the more she wanted and the less I could deliver was causing her to be unhappy. Then life starts getting in the way, and little things start to go away. Not as many hugs, holding hands, passionate kisses. We get to a little peck before work and after, and before bed. We try sex more with the same result, which I can see is really beginning to affect her. She visibly cries in front of me after a date night, where I bought her lingerie (and she looked amazing in it). We tried to have sex that night and I failed. I went to a urologist, he said I was normal, prescribed the blue pill. I tried the pill, it helped some but not enough. So, we have come to present day and she is miserable. And, tells me how bad it is for her, and how close the marriage is to the end. I am not ready to give up on us, but it is a 2 way street and her street is basically closed. As I have began my research on what my issue is, I have come across PIED. It is my symptoms to a T. I never thought I had a problem with porn or an addiction. But, as I look back on our relationship I begin to realize that I was as much to blame for not being in the mood. I would be horny, and rather than ask her for sex I would PMO. it was easier than taking the chance on rejection. I am now 6 days in to my reboot. I am trying to find the right time to talk to her about it. Well, just got awful news. I have noticed her hiding her phone from me constantly, and I couldn't help myself. She left it by the bed while she went down to do laundry and I picked it up to look at it. There was a message notification from a guy that has popped up recently all over her Facebook. I had asked her about him the other day and she blew it off as a friend of her brothers from high school 25 years ago. Well on her phone screen was a text notification from the guy. So, she is not being honest with me. I couldn't help looking. I wish I hadn't. I asked her about it, and she was mad (rightfully so) that I looked at her phone. She said they have just reconnected recently and been texting and Facebook messaging. Nothing is going on according to her. But, it is hard not to think something is up. I am trying like all hell to not break down and PMO from this stress but I know I need to reboot for recovery. I am sorry for rambling, but I need an outlet and am not sure where else to turn right now. I am devastated and disgusted with my self.