Making love or ?

Me neither. I was just trying to point out that the guys and their arguing sort of hijacked your thread.

Apparently this guy knows all of our husbands now? smh

Regarding PTSD and CPTSD - I have formal diagnoses from professionals. And, yes, it can happen from Betrayal Trauma. Does it happen to all women? No one said that. But it can happen. It's real and here's an article:
http://theinstituteforsexualhealth....rtners-and-spouses-impacted-by-sex-addiction/

 

With all due respect, sirs - you have every right to disagree with any particular religion, and you even have the right to attack people for expressing it - but the question you ought to ask yourselves is yours a healthy reaction? I see a strong emotional reaction to any mention of the Christian faith whatsoever. I'm as aware as anyone that there are plenty of lousy Christians out there and that they've done plenty of lousy things - but I think there is a level of courtesy that should be given to all people, regardless of their beliefs.

I would assume one of the reasons you all don't like Christians is that you feel they are intolerant of other people, that their faith is exclusive of other beliefs. I simply want to point out, in as nice a way as possible, that you two may be more guilty of that than most Christians on this forum. @SuperFan s post was not directed to you, he didn't attack or insult anyone, yet you go out of your way to attack him. Yes, repeatedly saying that someone is irrational because they are Christian is an insult. Yes, saying that one's beliefs are as bad as pornography is an insult. There are better ways to express these thoughts.

I've found that when someone expresses an opinion I don't like on this forum, the best way to respond to it is with courtesy and humility. People don't respond well to the opposite. If you truly want to have constructive conversations here, to contribute to the edification of the forum, then I would suggest changing your tack.

 

Typical atheist. "Your freedom of religion is fine, as long as it's confined to that little corner of the room off in the distance where no one else can hear you." That's not how freedom works. Not in America, not in the NoFap forums, not anywhere.

I'm really not worried about offending people who think quoting scripture immediately weakens my argument. They're allowed to be offended. They are perfectly free to reject my conclusions. In fact, I hope they do. Lessons learned the hard way tend to stick better.

Good for you. So if someone quotes scripture, let it go. You don't need to go around censoring everyone who believes in a higher power just because it offends your atheist sensibilities. In fact, I think the fact that it bothers you shows the weakness of your atheism, not its strength.

You mean the Jesus who commands me to speak the truth? Who commands me to challenge falsehood? The one who said those who reject him will not be accepted by the Father or have eternal life? The one who tells me to preach the gospel and to make disciples of all nations? Are you sure you realize what you're asking me?

 

As for all this PTSD stuff - I truly believe that a partner's pornography addiction can cause it. I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that PTSD by it's nature has to be a problem with a spectrum. It may seem unjust to some to say that the SO's here suffer from the same disorder as someone like a combat veteran, and no doubt that kind of acute trauma can lead to far worse psychological problems, but I don't think it's right to simply dismiss the problems that having a PA SO can cause.

I'm sympathetic because I had some PTSD like symptoms from my wife's sexual past - the things she went through before I even met her. Both the abuse she experienced as a child and the terrible decisions she made in high school at least partly as a result. For a time I barely slept over it , I found myself unable to avoid certain thoughts, and the moment I had the thought I would immediately go into fight or flight, heart rate racing and adrenaline flowing. Granted - I was on the mild end of the spectrum. And yes - I know my claim may seem ridiculous to everyone here, after all most people in our society aren't affected one way or another by a partner's past. Nevertheless - I am accurately depicting what I went through.

It seems to me like my problem was just that - my problem. I desperately wanted something, the flawless wife, and the denial of that caused my distress. I imagine the situation here is similar for the SO's - they deeply wanted a certain type of marriage, a certain type of life, and the pornography addiction denied them that, causing them distress. I (mostly) overcame my issues by ceasing to expect my wife to fulfill me, by finding my own identity outside of my marriage and establishing my value elsewhere. It's simply too much pressure to put on another person, to expect them to carry you in that way. Then, I was able to come back to my marriage and love my wife for who she is, not who I need her to be.

This probably all sounds crazy.

 

I often don't speak to religious stuff.
I have a feeling I'd be stoned to death.
Here's my 2cents tho.

Everyone here just gets so mean about it.
It's just religion, you guys.
Doesn't every religious text say "be nice to others about it?"
So put your d***s away, it's not a pissing contest.
You are allowed to disagree, respectfully.
Now where is everyones manners?

 

Yet some people interpret this as "Kill everyone, who does not believe in it"

 

@Properitas- why would you say that??? @Kenzi was trying to cool things off a bit, and then you come back and put gas in it? Really??

You seem to enjoy being the contrarian and being provacative- and if that's who you are that's fine. Like every other way of being it has appropriate times and places. This is a sorta hospital, most of us here are trying to get better. What helps here is a spirit of empathy and patience. We surely don't have to agree, but let's try to keep the other people's recovery as first priority.

 

Karl Marx said "Religion is the opiate of the people."
But I'm inclined to think that they all meld into one. If you look at the guiding principles of all religions it basically comes down to "Be cool to others, be nice, don't murder and don't be a shithead ." So who cares about the finer points?

I just want to be loved and I think everyone else wants that too. Sounds like a good founding principle, right?

 

I have not once claimed to be offended. I simply see that you are stating falsehoods and appealing to the bible to give a perspective on a phrnomenon that did not exist when it was written. The reason I dislike religion is because it makes otherwise reasonable people who want to 'challenge falsehood' and 'speak the truth', defend most passionately the weakest and most non-rational beliefs that they hold. They do not engage in the lagic or validity of the arguments against god or religion but instead cry "typical atheist" as if that in itself is an insult and cause to ignore the argument. Again, I am attacking beliefs and behaviours, not individuals. If you feel personally insulted then my apologies. It is your choice whether to reexamine those beliefs and behaviours. I'm still waiting for the logical arguments for the existence of a god (it doesnt even have to be the christian god with the unlikely special interest in one mammalian species on one planet on one of billions of stars in one of billions of galaxies in one tiny slice of cosmological time).

 

You mean like flipping over tables or calling people hypocrites?

 

No, there's only one religion that says that.

 

If the point of religion was only to be a 'good person' in this life, then I'd be inclined to agree with you. But Christianity is about eternity.

To quote Steve Turner: "All religions believe in love and goodness--they only differ on matters of creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation."

 

No, you're not. The logical arguments for Christianity have been around for decades. Your problem is not with your logical mind, but with your will.

You are far too set in your atheism for me to think that anything I could say here would make you question your biases. Besides, dozens of brilliant men have made far better arguments than I ever could. In fact, it's their arguments that solidified my faith.

"Mere Christianity" by CS Lewis
"Evidence That Demands a Verdict" by Josh McDowell
"Reason For God" by Tim Keller
"The Case For Christ" by Lee Strobel
The podcast "Let My People Think" by Ravi Zacharias (particularly the episode "Why I Am Not an Atheist")
Do a YouTube search for Dr. John Lennox and click on virtually any result for an argument that addresses the tired "god vs. science" debate. You could also listen to his talk "The Testimony of Science" from the same podcast I just mentioned.

I'm guessing you've never really dug into any of these books. If you do, I think you'll find yourself very uncomfortable.

 

Thanks for the homework, I'll have a look and let you know what I think. And I have, of course, engaged with arguments both for and against he existence of a god. I was raised Christian, rather liked church and went to a church school, but certain issues prompted me to question the religious doctrine and had placed my faith in. Issues such as my prayers going unanswered, claims of miracles in the bible and semi-regular communication from god, and yet a significant radio silence in the years leading up to my life. Claims of an afterlife that cannot be confirmed one way or another because dead people don't talk. Christianity taught me that to doubt is a weakness, it is a sin. Science taught me the opposite, only to believe whatvthere is evidnecee for, and to change my beliefs when required by new evidence. I have yet to be exposed to any convincing evidence for god. Forgive me for not holding out much hope that your reading listwill change my mind.

 

I'd like to express distaste at what seems to be anti-muslim sentiment here. Let us not forget the crusades. It is always a minority of any religion that uses scripture as an excuse for violence and hatred, and the same is true for islam.

 

My last post on the subject and I will drop it.
I was waiting for the Crusades to be brought up. If you study them at all, instead of use them to wield as a reason to hate all things spiritual, you will see that the Crusades were far from anything commanded in Scripture. In my statement you quoted, I was not attacking a religion by any means. I was stating a fact that there is only one world religion that demands in its scriptures that non believers convert or be killed.

 

I am agreeing with you that any violence committed with appeal to scripture as a justification is not in the spirit of any religion, all of which see their world-view as the only one that will 'save' its followers. Hence why some individuals (in the minority) decide that their message is so important that those who 'refuse to hear' it deserve violence or death. There are many passages in the bible that christians choose to see as metaphor and not to be followed literally. I am sure that if you were to take the whole bible literally there would be sections that you find distasteful or downright wrong. This, I am sure, is the view of many, if not most, muslims with regard to the aforementioned passage of the quran.