Making love or ?

This is a funny thread... Objectively

 

You may be right about that one. People have many times told me, even though they admitted I was right in the end, that I could be more sensitive. Well this is who I am.
If you can not handle this, you can block me any time. No hard feelings.

Maybe I just wanna argue with someone, sometimes. But nobody wants to. Because I have the tendency to pour salt into the other persons wounds. I don´t do this intentionally, but I am very good at spotting the insecurities of other people. But what hurts people even more is knowing that there is at least some truth to my words.
If you´re telling me I haven´t been in a long term relationship, does that bother me? No. Because it´s not true.
Just like when you´re saying I am blaming anyone or excusing any behaviors. Maybe this is how you interpret it.

And I may not have a lot of empathy, because my gf does not make a very big deal out of my porn addiction. Of course she is trying to help me the best way she can and that is not always easy for her. But PTSD? Seriously? Don´t hate, but I really can not put myself in your shoes.
Just like you can not imagine what it feels like to be a slave of your own mind. To do things against your will. To hurt yourself over and over.

Maybe we should agree that a porn addict will never fully understand SOs and SOs will never fully understand porn addicts.

 

Just take a look at this.

 

This thread is getting better by the minute.
Time to make some enemies.

Quote from wikipedia:
Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)[note 1] is a mental disorder that can develop after a person is exposed to a traumatic event, such as sexual assault, warfare, traffic collisions, or other threats on a person's life.

Watching a husbands suicide attempt is a whole different story. No doubts about that.
But isn´t it a strange coincident, that suddenly the SOs on this thread claim to have PTSD, although (Quote wikipedia again) "Most people who have experienced a traumatic event will not develop PTSD."

 

Just as there was no need to quote scripture. No sense preaching to the choir and no point quoting a book to people who do not value it. Especially in a secular forum.

 

You obviously didn't read what I posted. My SO's actions (which go beyond PMO) made my symptoms worse. If you knew anything about the subject of sexual betrayal you wouldn't be so flippant. You have no idea what I or anyone else here have been through in life. I have been diagnosed by both a nuerologist and therapists as having severe PTSD due to numerous incidences. It has become obvious (more than once) that you skim rather than interpret and take your time with reading postings.

I would really like to hear your well-thought out, educated analysis on the subject. Wikipedia is just an oh-so-great source on the subject. You're right, this thread does just keep getting better.

 

No I don´t. And you don´t either.

And my post was not specifically directed to you either.

In your case it was like pouring gasoline into fire. Fair enough.
Does your SO support you with it?

 

I've also stated addiction is a common occurrence with some of the SO's at one point. Have you not repeatedly said that others could not understand PMO because other addictions and compulsions cannot compare?

And yet, when it comes time to compelling for sympathy for your particular brand of addiction, that want of understanding from others, you simply whisk away the trials others have faced. You can't ask for that empathy and have none in return.

Everyone else here tries their best to understand each other, grieve for each other. Support.

 

@Properitas Hey, so I see the topic of PTSD has come up and as someone who has PTSD from sexual trauma's I have CPTSD from my husbands addiction. CPTSD happens for long term gaslighting/abuse/trauma. Anyways, PTSD has been found in couples where the woman is battered or emotionally abused and in many cases the PMOers have emotionally abused their SO (consciously or unconsciously). The torment that we SO's go through is horrible. We get lied to over and over again, our reality shattered many many times (if lying is involved). I can tell you that I rather get raped and have PTSD from that any day over experiencing being the SO of a porn addict because of how different this trauma has impacted me. I am able to function normally from the PTSD from rape but the CPTSD from this??? holy hell it's a whole other monster that I still after over a year am struggling from. So yes, it's possible for partners who experienced trauma to get cptsd/ptsd from this. Because when you're whole world/life has been a lie for X amount of years, that is some intense trauma.

I write this not to argue or be aggressive but to help you understand

 

I don´t need empathy. I am fine with the fact that no one will ever fully understand me.
This whole discussion started with me stating porn addiction was not a choice.
It´s not like some decision I´ve made at some point in my life.
I have not thought "Well okay. How do I want my life to be in the future? Do I want to be a porn addict or not?", and made a conscious choice about it.
I did not state this for me, because I pity myself so I need some empathy, but for you.
Trying to get across, that we are seldom aware of the choices we make. That it is nothing personal against you for them to watch porn instead of being with the partner. Your husbands don´t hate you. They don´t find you unattractive. They don´t want to hurt you.
They want to be with you, just like you want to be with them.
But porn is holding them back.

That´s what I was trying to say all along.
But every single post of me has been misinterpreted. Guess I really don´t know how this empathy thing works.
But I promised my gf to work on it a while ago.
Well practice makes perfect, right?

 

It's called freedom of religious expression. Welcome to America.

 

Ah, of course. My apologies.

 

Land of all that is good and great, oh and never mind all the far right Christian terrorists and nazis and president. I know freedom of expression is your bag and so my flippant attitute to your faith is also my right.

 

Yep, it absolutely is. You have every right to be a dick.

It just so happens that there are believers in this thread, and people who have spouses who are believers. I figured they might appreciate hearing a biblical perspective on the issue. You didn't appreciate it, and that's fine--because it wasn't for you.

 

To be flippant is not to be intentionally dickish. It was intended to remind you of the guidelines for this forum that religious posts should have their own threads. To use a biblical argument to 'bolster' the start of your post potentially weakens it in the eyes of non-religious pmo addicts who may now reject your conclusions, since they seem to come from religious dogma and not rational thought. It also (to the non-religious) comes across as an attempt to sneak in your religious evangelism to an otherwise very helpful post. Religion leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and for various reasons I find it just as damaging (potentially more so) as pornography.

Sorry if this comes across as an attack, but I have criticised yur idealogy. You have peraonally insulted me. For not holding your own personal beliefs. Try to be more like Jesus and less like the God of the old testiment.

 

It´s really a shame I had to put him on my irgnore list, because when he is not quoting the bible his posts are quite insightful.
And

Yes!

 

It looks like this thread has gone way off the rails from the original poster's question. Perhaps the guys who seem to be arguing can work it out in another location to respect the original poster. And please don't attack me for trying to get this back on track. Thanks, and I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

 

Maybe Google "Complex PTSD". It's not caused by ONE traumatic event, but instead, it's caused by many smaller events, which, when combined, have the same effect as one big one.

 

Sorry, I contributed to the straying :O Didn't see your post until after I posted my not-on-topic reply.