Here's a question I would like to pose to SOs of recovering PMO addicts or to anyone whose life has been affected by PMO addiction in some way: What strategies have you relied upon to rebuild trust over the long term? My partner is four months into his recovery from PM addiction. I feel the need to bring up the subject of PM abstinence with him on a regular basis as a means of "checking in," but I don't want to give the impression that I do not believe in his strength and his commitment to recovery. I also don't want to seem more like a manager than a supportive, loving partner. If I don't bring it up regularly, however, I feel paranoid, as it would likely be easier for him to simply not share his struggles or setbacks than to lie about being PM free when asked directly. Any strategies for fostering trust over the long-term recovery journey would be much appreciated!
Well he definitely needs to check in with you! Tell him so! It doesn't always have to be porn related, but you could use some assurance that he's managing his time well and the strategies he is using to recover. Talking openly aboout feelings is huge too. FANOS is great for this. Otherwise it's like being left in the dark all over again.
Thank you so much! I will certainly check out FANOS. Building emotional intimacy is definitely an area in which my partner and I could improve. Are there any books or articles pertaining to rebuilding after porn addiction that you would recommend?
Amazon has a fantastic selection of ebooks and paperbacks: Porn addiction books Also check out the sidebar on the left for more books related to the topic, and relationships. Great website: Your Brain on Porn My running master list of strategies, articles, tools/tips, and resources that I've come across so far: Play the Tape Forward Bloom for women Original FANOS Reddit's Stop Drinking has good strategies that can apply to this Love language test/Apology language test, great for swapping to communicate better Understanding sexual anorexia Porn addiction 101 Sex Addicts Anonymous Literature Sex Addicts Anon. meetings SAA meetings online/chat TalkSpace - Online Therapy/info Helpful advice on building yourself up Why pure abstinence is not the answer Are you being Gaslighted?
https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2015/12/i-believe-in-loving-like-you-give-a-shit/ My SOs favorite article when it comes to "what relationships should be" I also think it's amazing.
WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THE APOLOGY LANGUAGE TEST?!?! WHY?!?! WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT IT TWO YEARS AGO WHEN WE DID THE LOVE LANGUAGES TEST?!?!
Think of all that you have done and the help you've given to others. Look to the future! Like you say in your signature, "Keep Hope!"
I know. I'm under a lot of spiritual attack this month. I consecrated myself to Jesus through Mary on Tuesday, and The Other Guy(TM) HATES that. I'm okay. Thanks for the encouragement. I did need it.
In the links I provided above, it is a test in which you can take it, send it to your partner, and your partner can then learn to effectively communicate with you in your "love language". It is quite nice. I was lucky to discover it the same day I took the Love Language one. Just hearing the words "Forgive me." out of my partner's mouth- gold.
I need full responsibility, or else... Go away. When my SO said I'm a addict. I stayed. As long as he's trying, I'm staying. Our game changer for sure. Him trying is him taking responsibility. I wonder if he thought about the test now.... Hmmmmm..... I wonder if this helped him recover..... Hmmmmm.... The things we may never know....