If you haven't "met" me here yet, my husband has been addicted to porn for 20 years, longer than he has known me. When he stumbled on this website and we decided to try a 90 day hard mode reboot together, no intentional Os for either of us (it's day 10 for us today), we were hopeful it could help him get rid of porn cravings and unwanted porn images intruding on his thoughts. The other goals were to help him reconnect with his own emotions and reconnect with me, essentially saving our badly battered marriage. Other than the hope of a reboot, we had no clue how to get there. Thanks to @ChangeMattersToMe we learned about the benefits of 30 minutes of cuddling daily and @lfromcr mentioned FANOS. Well, in just 10 days my husband have seen wonderful positive changes. We are fighting less, disagreements/crabbiness lasts a shorter time and I feel like we are in that hoped for second honeymoon! More healing and changes do need to happen, but the positive progress is nothing short of miraculous, as far as I am concerned, especially compared to anything else we've tried to save our marriage. Since then I'm like a broken record, have you heard of FANOS? Have you tried cuddling for 30 minutes a day? I think every couple, whether they face addiction(s) or not, would benefit from both FANOS and the scheduled nonsexual cuddle time. So I decided to start a thread: 1. To share what I've learned with others. (And so I can tag people in this post, instead of retyping it, when I mention it again in the future. Because I know I will!) 2. To hear other people's experiences with using FANOS and the scheduled cuddling. Here are the details. 30 minutes cuddling a day. Learn more about the benefits here http://yourbrainonporn.com/the-lazy-way-to-stay-in-love and here. http://yourbrainonporn.com/calling-all-skin-hungry-cuddle-sluts FANOS is a daily check in with your spouse to practice emotional intimacy. It's from the Greek word that means to shine or reveal. F Feelings--state your feelings, not your thoughts. A Affirmation/acknowledge--give your spouse an affirmation--or say thank you for something. N Needs--ask for something you need (knowing that sometimes your need will not be fulfilled) O Own something you did. Say you are sorry. S Sobriety--the addict will check in with his or her spouse about his or her sobriety. If sobriety is no longer an issue, you may each choose something you want to change, ie, habitual TV watching, rage, withdrawal, sarcasm, ect.) for your spiritual growth and check in about your progress with that issue. Now I'd like to hear from you, especially if you're part of a couple that has tried FANOS or the scheduled cuddle time. Was it helpful? How often have you been or did you do it? What did you notice that it helped you with? I contacted Faithful and True and confirmed that is the source. "The FANOS tool is original to Faithful and True and can be found in print in Debbie Laaser's book, "Shattered Vows," page 184." Sherri Trautmann, administrator, Faithful and True. The other thing we've done, along with the reboot, FANOS and nonsexual cuddling, is experiment with karezza, which is sex without O.