Life Time sissy

Yes, I imagine it feels good. But, btw, it is not a dark secret in my opinion. It would be dark if you rob, kill someone, or if you are a raper, pedo or somehting like that. Dark sounds pretty bad.

I am 5 days with PMO and my opinion about sissy stuff is changing. But I have to wait more time without PMO to see the real results.

 

used to be called confession
Seriously, there is a great truth in it - once we tell the 'secret' it no longer has power over us.

 

this is a VERY common escalation pattern - have you read yourbrainonporn.com at all? A lot of good info there (and here of course)

 

No bad days. They were good actually.
I still have urges and I really want to see porn when I am bored, but I managed to hold on.

Yes, I saw it but not in that site. But there is somehting important here, I get aroused when I crossdress. And my first crossdress was when I was 13 (I didn't see sssy or bbc at that time).
I feel like sissy porn or bbc is not result of the escalation pattern or porn addiction but a result of my childhood. Of course porn helped it, but there is something more deep and I think I am actually figuring it out while not pmo (but 5 days are nothing).

 

i also think a lot of 'gay' fantasies can be symbolic of other needs AND a form of narcissism (I don't intend this to be an insult, I am talking about my own escalation and problems!) - masturbation leads to self focus, self stimulation - i remember somehow fetishing the material (spandex/nylon) and how it felt first against me then on me....

before it became taboo to say so, I think psychologists theorized this about cross dressing (which I only briefly 'experimented' with when i was a teen but stopped...

 

Yes that is exactly what happened to me. I had the opportunity to wore leggings because my mother had such clothes. It feels great to wear them. But after masturbation I felt like shit. It feels like after masturbation I am a real man without such desires.
But after some hours, the desire comes back. Thankfully I don't live alone so I don't have privacy, otherwise I would have bought girl clothes on amazon a long time ago.

 

Why? I mean, how do they know that you were interested in their leggings?

 

They say girls can sense our insecurities better than men. But they can't mind read us xD.
If you look at their leggings, I guess they will think that you are looking at their legs or ass.

Anyway, today is your seventh day?

 

Really nice! But when you say hard, what do you mean? Do you feel depressed or anxious? Unmotivated?

 

As you may know already, If you masturbate there will be no difference. You will continue to feel that way all time. That is the reason why I am doing nofap, to see if something changes and I believe it will.

Looking people in the eyes is something that is very easy to practice. I remember it was very difficult to look older people in the eyes. So I started to fix my eyes in their eyes and force them to be there for some few seconds. There are youtube videos where you can practice such thing with girls.

I have a problem that I get blushed around cute girls (I start to think that she is cute and she is going to note my lack of confidence and I start to feel red and my face getting hotter). But I don't care, how can the girl actually think that I am blushed because of her?