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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by I_AM_AWESOME, Dec 24, 2018.
Day 57?? I’m on day 4 now. I’m primarily just stopping looking at porn. 26 days to go!
Good luck man, what are your goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
My goals are lightcore. Nooooo porn; and just ->less<- masterbation. To achieve them I will focus my energy on learning spanish, focusing on school, and going to events in my city to meet people instead of staying cooped up all day, or inviting people to my house to hang out. Have you got any advice for me?
Welcome to C90 Day 56!!!
This is a hard journey that most don't understand when the embark. I don't believe that most understand the sacrifices they'll need to make in order to complete it and I don't believe that most are even willing to make them even if they say or believe otherwise.
Day after day there are idk, 50-100 people starting and restarting their journey's on this forum. Accountability thread I mean, I'm not even talking about the rest of the site. Alot are new to this altogether and try to barter with their sobriety in one form or another. I'll give up p but still look at women on instagram type of thing.
When you get to the point where pmo is an addiction in that you cannot stop yourself, then it's past the part of compromises and half measures. Obviously your lack of self control is what got you here. What makes you think you can control any part of it now in some sort of reduction plan?
I've seen the same thing in all phases. I'll only drink beer instead of hard alcohol, I'll chew tobacco instead of smoking, I'll not watch P but M 6 (17 times a day) .. etc etc. All of these things are symptoms of the real issue and until you address those real issues, you'll constantly be battling this in one form or another.
How many years do you want this to continue? If you look back 5 or 10 years from now and nothings changed, how will you feel then? What about 1 year, what about 6 months?
Stopping this is about changing you and your lifestyle. Simply stopping, if that were even possible is simply not enough. Radical changes are required. The same level of thinking that got you here is not enough to get you out.
How many more times do you have to do the same thing before enough is enough? What is your rock bottom?
I know one guy who went to jail for 2 years and still cannot stop for more than 2 weeks. If that's not a rock bottom I don't know what is. But again, everyone is different so obviously it's not his yet.
Think about this, save yourself now, don't waste time on half measures.
I'd take an honest look at your lightcore plans and solidify them. What exactly does less masterbation mean?
While everything sounds good it sounds very vague. If I were you I'd look at each day independently and plan how you'll make it thru the day without pmo. Have plans and backup plans. I'd also have accountability thrown in as well. And I mean more than this forum or thread. I mean someone you can text or call that understands this and is available when you have those moments.
Thank you for your concern. I’ll get an accountability buddy in RL. I already mentioned to someone and I’ll use them.
My issue is being hyper sexualized from viewing porn. I speculate M isn’t an issue rather being too horny from looking at porn habitually is the issue for me. If I need to alter my goal to include it too, then I will and I’ll let you know!
Welcome to C90 Day 58!!
I missed yesterday because I was traveling. Well, the truth is I missed yesterday because I didnt make time to do this. I didn't make time for any of this site and it wasn't good for my mental health because I didn't have the reminder to focus on my no pmo lifestyle that I'm building.
I used to set goals of daily journaling and writing 5 things to be grateful for. I'd miss a bunch of days then beat myself up and say I suck at doing that. I realized with the help of my coach that I actually was doing some of those things, just not where I had intended. I write on this thread almost daily which is a journal and I post in other threads about gratitude and positive motivational thoughts.
Just because they're not in my little black journal book doesn't mean it's not meeting my goal. My system is to use this site to do those things. There are plenty of benefits of doing it here vs my journal. The most important one is that it doesn't feel like work here, I actually enjoy doing it here. I enjoy posting here, responding to and helping other site members here. It's a positive thing in my life.
But as I said when I started, it's important to be consistent. That helps me in my journey.
have a great day!
Welcome to C90 Day 59!! One day from 60.
I just started to write that I was going to stop posting in this thread because it doesn't feel like it's that helpful. Participation is not what I thought it would be and it seems readership is low too (based on comments and likes). I then realized that I'm not in a good state or even close to what TR would say is a peak state.
Currently I'm in a hotel room and not feeling great emotionally. There are a few reasons like being in a crappy motel, being physically worn down from skiing yesterday, eating crappy food, staying up too late watching stupid shows, fighting urges and wandering near the electric fences. I was debating on heading home earlier than planned because I'm just not into it today.
Oh and Saturday mornings have (in the past) always been a trigger for me because I used to PMO pretty much every one.
As I was contemplating resigning this thread the peak state thought came to me and I remembered that it's a choice I'm making to be in this state. It wasn't my choice to wake up feeling this way but it's my choice to continue to stay this way. I can either stay this way or choose to do something else. Something else can be one of many many things.
I can focus on all the good things in my life. I can get up and move around to change my physiology, I can go exercise, I can do anything that isn't staying here feeling crappy. That's a choice I have and my free will says I can make it anything I want.
Life is awesome that way and i'm super happy to have been taught these lessons because now, I'm choosing to fight thru this, I'm choosing not to look at p today and focus on good things, I'm choosing to do anything but stay in this crap party I'm in and go out and make today something, anything better than where it was heading.
I hope you see the power of choices and how much you can choose to do something more than what your brain thinks it can do.
A well known author and speaking I'm listening to Dr. Joe Dispenza says that everyday we make the same choices that we made the day before. We think the same thoughts, we feel the same feelings and we do the same things. As a result our bodies get addicted to those feelings and it expects them at the same times.
Our bodies are more powerful than the mind. We have a thought, our body responds. Our brain sees that reaction and thinks more similar thoughts. It's a circle between the brain and the body.
We end up living the same day over and over again because unconsciously our body expects to feel a certain way at a certain time and it gets addicted to those feelings because it a rush of energy.
Today is Saturday. My body is expecting me to wake up in a bad mood focusing on all the crappy things in my life. It's expecting me to feel this way and its expecting me to look at porn and MO.
When we decide to do something different it feels uncomfortable and our body and mind starts throwing thoughts at us like "let's start tomorrow, today is not a good day for that", "I'm strong enough to do this, lets go look at porn", etc etc.
You gain your free will when you fight thru that and making your body listen to you. Eventually it will give up and you will become the master.
Take back your will and be free!!
Here's a reference video
I like your posts though! Change is hard and perhaps no PMO is only a step in obtaining a happier lifestyle. Just like exercising to be fit hasn’t made me suddenly immune to feeling the blues, but it’s at least been a support to feeling better all around.
For me I’m in search of a united community of similar interests to me and that’s very hard for me to find. Maybe I should go to a gaming convention hehe.
Thanks. I'm not gonna quit, I was saying I felt like it but then realized it was because I wasnt in a good state.
I'm glad you find them helpful.
No pmo is definitely a better lifestyle.
I decided to reset because I want to be strict on myself. I was shopping online and came across an inappropriate cartoon that I stared at for too long. I want to draw the line and hold myself to a high standard, and this reset will help me remember to stay more vigilant and serious about my commitment.
Holy #[email protected]$ I missed day C90 day 60!!!!!
We are actually on day 61 now.
Sunday I dont think I was on this site much at all. It was a difficult day, I had relationship challenges. I was as they say Stuck in my head.
No pmo issues, a few brief moments that I killed with my 100 Wins challenge.
Its challenging to stick with something for any length of time. For all those guys with years of pmo free, I salute you.
As I've run this group and the X90 I've seen alot of people come and go. At one point X90 had 12 active members but now we are down to just a few.
Starting this journey is really tough when you are new. There are do many unknowns and it's hard to do alone.
This site is incredible in how much it helps. If you're new, please stick around, you just bring here, helps other people.
There is so much benefit by raising your hand and saying hello.
Have a great day everyone and welcome aboard
Welcome to C90 Day 64!!!
I missed a few days somewhere but I know it's been 64 days since Christmas and my counter is always 1 day behind.
Today I woke up in a bad place mentally. I was grouchy about work issue and one person in particular who my brain is trying to tell me that she's working against me. My brain found and can find many things wrong with everything. I decided to meditate to get into a better place and I struggled with that, I couldn't find the right mediation, I tried a few and they annoyed me even more. I purchased calm and couldn't stand the lady talking because she was talking too much and wouldn't get to the meditation.
Finally I shut everything off, closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. It was a struggle. My brain was playing and replaying the last song I heard over and over (Won't get fooled again), it was finding fault with everything. Eventually I found a space where I was separate from my thoughts. It was a brief moment but enough to reset me.
I would describe it as... here I am and over there are my thoughts. I could see them but they were separate from me. My analytical brain stopped analyzing for just a brief moment but it was enough to wake me up.
Then I lost it and couldn't get it back again. But it was enough that I can still feel it and still see my thoughts as separate. I know I'm not at my ultimate peak state but I'm in a good enough state that I can get there soon just by doing things like this, helping others, talking to others , all the mentally healthy things I do that get me here.
I hope you find peace and love in your day, life is as hard as we make it and we make it 1000 times harder than it needs to be.
@I_AM_AWESOME when can't find the right meditation / can't find into it I recommend a guided meditation. Breathing, mindfulness, loving kindness.. there are many. A nice warm voice alone can make you relax.
I found mine on yt.
I even found a site with instructions for all kinds of meditations from different belief systems and traditions - if you like I can look it up.
Also it's said that a good meditation is not always one where you can easily focus and relax. Sometimes it's a struggle but you can learn from it.
Thanks, I was searching on yt for guided but none suited my needs this morning. I know I'll find ones that work but this morning I was pushing too hard.
Welcome to C90 day 65!!!!
Didnt get a chance to meditate this morning and felt it. Sometimes when I say I'm gonna do something everyday I get discouraged when I miss a day.
Even here with pmo, if I'd look at something close to p or even p itself but not m or o , I'd start to feel like I'm screwing it up.
That's never the case. Progress is progress. Unless you flat out relapse and purposely go off the rails for a week, you are still making progress. You dont undo the work you've done.
I've seen guys with 5 years fall back. No one is not at risk. You have to be ever vigilant. That said, there is a cure, there is an end.
Some 12 step programs dont advocate that and would have you believe that you'll never be cured and you can never stop going to meetings.
I'm not of that mindset but I'm not against it for those that are. It's just not the psychology I subscribe too.
I think if you've been thru it you're more than likely to go there again because you know it. It's not foreign to you.
There are some who've had such a psychological change that they'll never go there again.
However you are, whatever you believe is all good, progress is progress.