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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by I_AM_AWESOME, Dec 24, 2018.
Welcome to C90 Day 67!!
I skipped 66 because I didnt make time for it.
The voice in my head says "start tomorrow " anytime I'm trying to abstain from something that I'm stuck on. Whether its food, sex, working out etc
Its difficult to challenge that. Eventually we have too if we want to change. It feels so difficult. It doesn't feel normal.
Those neural pathways are so integrated they're difficult to change. But we have to and by doing so we are creating new neural pathways which will become the new normal.
Does the idea of doing the same thing over and over, again and again, day after day make you crazy? It does when we dont want to do that thing yet we do that with a majority of our lives.
You put your pants on the same way each day. Try doing that differently and see how it feels.
Now let's take years of using sex to cope with our issues and suddenly stop that in one day. How will that feel? That's like trying to stop a freight train on a dime.
Things take time. There are alot of stops and starts. Like anything it takes time and practice.
Keep learning and focus, I wish you well on your journey
Welcome to C90 Day 69!!
Have you ever heard the term "Life is happening for you not too you?" If you haven't, think about it. If you can look at life as a series of events that are happening for you, for your benefit, you'd have a massive shift in your perspective overall. You would have to take every event and look of the lesson that it's meant to teach you. It would be so advantageous to think like this, you'd never be the victim, you'd rarely get upset at things happening, you'd have alot more control than you would otherwise.
It would be amazing. Of course there are events you don't know what the lesson is or the lesson might only be visible after everything is done. You'd have to find benefits in the meantime until the true reason showed up (if it did).
How do you get to that mindset? My guess would be you'd have to journal about it everyday probably morning, noon and night. You'd have to post signs around your house probably on the mirror and other places so that you see it everyday all the time. At each check in you'd need to review events that happened since your last check in order to see how it was meant for you.
I think after doing this for a while you'd automatically start to think this way before and as things were happening. It would be a very interesting experiment.
Welcome to C90 Day 70!!
My gf challenged me to stay connected over the weekend. I usually get lost in my job or things I need to do and put the relationship second. She's obviously hurt by this and told me so on Friday (thus the challenge). I'm really grateful for her for being brave thru that difficult conversation. We stayed connected and now we're extending it thru the week.
Relationships can be difficult especially if PMO plays a part. I've heard so many stories of people having so much trouble with their significant others. It's actually more difficult for them than it is for us. They are mostly powerless thru this. I say mostly because often their recourse is to leave if they don't get what they need.
I've always agreed with the advice that if you're not in a relationship and you're starting or on your nofap journey then you should not actively pursue a relationship. You're not mentally well so to speak and you would not be brining your best self to the relationship. It's just going to add alot of confusion to an already hard battle.
I'm very grateful for my very understanding gf.
Have a great day everyone.
Welcome to C90 Day 71!!!
Late checkin better than never.
71 days since Christmas.
Welcome to C90 Day 72!!!
Is there anyone out there?
Have you ever been triggered and know you're gonna act out? You know you shouldn't and in some ways you dont want to but it feels inevitable.
I felt that way this morning but it was for M not P. I felt a release was necessary. I went to Yoga and all those thoughts were released.
It was a state change as I've talked about before but it was such a change it rocked me.
Too often our state changes arent enough. A few positive affirmations wont cut it, we need a radical change in physiology.
Let's get to it!!!
Just resetted yday from a 42 day streak with edging gone wrong
Cool man, welcome aboard.
You didnt lose anything with that reset, you gained 42 days of knowledge. Reset doesn't mean start over, you've learned alot, you've experienced life without porn and grew stronger.
Good luck on your next run. It takes alot of slips to get to the end.
Welcome to C90 Day 73!!!
Riding over to school I thought "I'm done with this crap, I'm quitting for good and it is easy!!!'
Say to yourself, its easy and what does your brain say back?
Mine says, yeah, just dont look at anything. Just stop. Be done with it.
I'm gonna incorporate that into my daily affirmations so that my brain will make this easy for me.
I have gone 60 days and 62 days last year. Past one year I'm going at about 3-9 week streaks. Only relapsed a couple times when I binged. Usually, I get back in the race immediately. I take this as a good sign but I'm finding it really difficult to keep a streak going for longer.
Cool man, what do you think drives you to PMO?
Welcome to C90 Day 75!!!
Almost there!!! I've learned alot this run. I've not been perfect, I've started many times and stopped. I've looked at non P things which aren't healthy. But it's not about perfection at all. To me it's about the trends over time. This 90 days is certainly better than the last 90 though I don't have measured proof. I feel better overall and ready to take this to the next level in the next 90.
Alot of it is planning. What days and times are you at risk? What are you doing to mitigate those risks? Are you connecting with anyone and talking about this? Do you have resources to use?
This is not a journey that you take alone and while this online community is awesome, having someone real is almost required. You don't have to fight alone, there are many people out there who'll support you. Reach out and ask for help, you won't regret it.
Welcome to C90 Day 76!!!
Great day today despite the weather.
I've said this before, if you are starting your journey expect to slip or relapse along the way. Very very few stop on a dime and are done forever. It took you x years to get here, itll take a year or two of hard work to get home.
Keep hanging in there! For me the urge for M is mostly gone. My issue is staying away from provocative images on the internet, and not lingering around when something in an advertisment pops up, etc.. I’ve found if I control the “eye gate” then the rest of the fight becomes so much easier. Stay away from what you know tempts you or leads you down a wrong path. I’ve not gone down the M path since I started the challenge, but I did do a reset because I felt I needed to be more serious about controlling my eyes on the internet. Even banner ads / going to the mall, etc. can be a problem - we are just inundated with provocative images in the modern world we live in.
Thanks for the advice man, I just had M on my mind while sitting here getting ready for bed. Take care!
Hang in there man and stay strong!!!!!!!
The D becomes real sensitive after a month. Just a little rub or grind from somewhere feels real good. Then I sometimes forget I'm on nofap or why I started, and worse, i say "I'm gonna edge just a bit". Then fvck up during the edge.
P I have almost completely removed. I feel repelled by it. But the triggers are everywhere.
I understand. Maybe rewrite your reasons why you're doing the everyday until it is more present in your mind.
Welcome to C90 Day 77!!!
To be honest, I've been in a bad space mentality pretty much all day. All my advice on how to handle this situation is there yet I'm not motivated to use it. I know this will pass, it's already started just by doing this.
My job is good yet my mind wants me to get pissed about it because the people running the company are failing. Theres a serious lack of leadership all over. The good parts are good and I'm in a position where I can spend all day learning new things if i choose.
The option to act out is there but I'm not gonna act on it. I know that's not the answer.
Hope your day is well.
Welcome to C90 Day 79!!
I was at a conference yesterday and didn't make time to post. Hard to believe that its only 11 days to 90. I think I'm the only one left standing. I'm happy with my progress though, there's been some tough times, close calls, starts and stops etc. I wasn't as perfect as I wanted but I'm hella happy I was as awesome as I was overall!!
I'm really close with my gf right now and she's interested in my progress. This has always been a difficult subject for us so we're finding ways to get thru it which is great. As a result I've cut out everything that would trigger me and haven't been fantasizing as much. It's been difficult, at times my brain is like trying to get me just to M which I don't think there's anything wrong with M as a whole. But I realize my desire to do it right now is driven by the lack of imagery even non p imagery that I was using before this stretch.
You won't get clean if you dont stop completely. Good luck my friends!