How I cured my sexual disfunctions (ED and PIED and desensitization) and how you can to

Discussion in 'Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions' started by HereIsMyNickName, Aug 20, 2016.

  1. RollerCoaster

    RollerCoaster Fapstronaut

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    heartbreaking..
     
  2. It wasnt :) it was scarry.
     
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  3. AlexWillDoIt

    AlexWillDoIt Fapstronaut

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    Finally some truly inspiring words! As a non religious person, I get always to discuss with who is like “God doesn’t want you to touch yourself”, which, to me, is BS. So, thanks man! I noticed that after already a week without PMO my sexdrive towards my partner is getting higher, I get an erection, sometimes I can even orgasm (the orgasm is completely different than during PMO and I still have to understand that it’s a better orgasm), but then I relapsed. What I am trying to do right now is to break the compulsory PMOing, meaning I don’t see it as something that’s has to be done, but something I choose to do, I decide. And I go regularly into psychology therapy. PMO really is ruining my relationship bringing to zero the need to be with my partner. It’s time to get my brain and body back and share it with whom I love.
    Thanks for sharing your healing!
     
  4. Newbie40

    Newbie40 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey dude.

    To get cured of pied, its about not masterbating to porn ...and after a while being intimate with your wife (kuz im married)..

    No other remedy strategy?

    Tnx bro

     
  5. Newbie40

    Newbie40 New Fapstronaut

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    Ive been doing some reading...

    The strategy is to stop masterbating to porn...

    Ans after some time try to be intimate with your partner?

    ...

    Ive been having no erection what so vever for some time now. Could it be compounded by my feeling of guilt after going to masterbation...and to kinky massage parlors....

    Need help. Ty bro.

     
  6. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    If you're not getting erections, you likely have PIED. Your brain has become accustomed to PMO, and thinks it, as well as any other actions and behaviors associated with PMO, is the greatest form of pleasure in your life.
    To get rid of this, you need to reboot your brain to forget PMO, and then reintegrate healthy sexual practices into your life.
    This process is laid out very well by Your Brain on Porn
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change-recovery-from-porn-addiction/
     
  7. Zveer

    Zveer Fapstronaut

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    Dude this was the most pleasant post to read out of all I’ve come across until now. And none of them addressed the issue that to form a new neural pathway we have to have sex in the process of eliminating the addiction. I never thought of it that way before. Thanks to the author.
     
  8. I don’t understand how to get to phase 3.... I’ve been struggling with pied and still have zero libido. I thought hardmode is the best mode to cure pied but the author is technically saying normal mode will cure pied. I need help!!! Thank you
     
  9. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    @Bigdog1776

    Hard mode is still the best way to cure PIED. A 90 reboot is an important part in getting rid of PIED, but it's just one step on the path. The reboot resets your brain's sexual reward system by not allowing the neurons in that area to fire. This causes many of the neurons in your brain's sex center to wither and die, and this has different effects on different people. Some guys are constantly horny, get boners a lot, and are excited to flirt and interact with their preferred partners; other guys, like myself, don't get random erections, don't think about/want sex very often, and show many symptoms of the flat-line. As long as you did the reboot correctly (hard-mode, 90 day, no arousing media or pleasurable acts), you're heading in the right direction. I'm also 20, so after my reboot, I was surprised that I didn't experience typical teenage horniness after my reboot; I would even say I got aroused more often and got more erections in my deep PMO days.

    The next step in getting rid of PIED is to reinforce positive sexual behaviors. While the reboot clears your mind pretty well of porn, it leaves it as a clean-slate, and your brain doesn't know what to be aroused by anymore. It's very important to not go back to porn after a reboot because your brain is very flexible in this period. You can reinforce positive sexual behaviors during and after the reboot; they are actually quite different, and while they are similar, they perform different functions in getting rid of PIED.

    During the reboot, it's actually very beneficial to engage in sexual acts with a partner that are not stimulating for yourself. Kissing, cuddling, and giving manual/oral sex to a partner are all very beneficial. They help your brain sensitize to a real person. While the acts may be arousing, sexual contact is needed to fire the sexual reward circuit in the brain, which is still "PMO-addicted" during the reboot; as long as your genitalia and other sensual areas are not stimulated (butthole, taint, nips, balls, etc), your brain's sexual reward system does not activate, allowing the porn-addicted neurons to wither and die. I did all those acts with my girlfriend during my reboot, and it really helped my body acclimate towards sex with another human. I was already used to her body and not super nervous when we started having sex after my reboot. Pleasuring your partner also helps people learn that sex isn't just sticking your dick in something. The kissing, touching, foreplay, oral, and other things are all just as important as the penetration. Those acts themselves become arousing to you, and help take the pressure of penetration during sex.

    After my reboot, my girlfriend and I started having sex right away. The most important part of getting rid of PIED is to have consistent sex right after the reboot; your brain, even if it doesn't show it right away, is extremely flexible and longing for sexual stimulation. Whatever sexual acts you start doing will take a firm foothold in your brain (sex, PMO, weird kinks, etc.). However, the first few times we had sex, I was not very hard at all. I did not finish until the third time we had sex, and even then it was just with an 8/10 erection. The sex also didn't feel extremely pleasurable; it felt very mechanical and biological, like shitting or burping. After about 12 times though, I was sporting rock hard erections, and cumming was literally the greatest thing I had ever felt. Again, after the reboot, your brain's sexual reward centers are completely clean, and don't "know" yet how good sex is supposed to be. The more you do it, the more arousing it will get, and the harder your erections will become. Your random boners will begin to come back, and your libido will be really kicking in after about 1.5 months of consistent sex. Sex can be nerve-wracking after the reboot, so the best thing to do is just do what feels good, and not worry about maximum pleasure or your erections. Trying to cum or going jackhammer will not feel great and will usually result in loss of erection. Being in the moment, moving in ways that feel good, and just having a good time will reinforce the behaviors you want, and will actually make you feel better and finish faster.
     
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  10. Wow thank you so much!! So in the beginning I went about 45 days without any orgasm but then on the 46th day came from a bj. I do semi hardmode because I am in a long distance relationship since we are both in college at different schools. Is this good enough to cure PIED???
     
  11. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Firstly, I'm not a doctor or a researcher, so all my evidence is anecdotal. The best place to get hard info and data is Your Brain on Porn (YBOP). It's all research and testimonials curated by the leading porn addiction experts. The science isn't settled, but their methods seem to work pretty well for healing porn addiction and PIED. They also explain everything much better than I do aha

    That being said, as long as you don't watch porn, your PIED will eventually go away. If you're not feeding your brain porn, it will grow less hungry for it, and eventually not find it arousing. However, this process varies greatly in time depending on your actions. The reboot is useful because it makes the process go by much quicker. I vaguely remember testimonials from guys who had very bad PIED, and resolved to just start having sex and never watch porn. For guys who stopped porn but kept having sex, I feel like it took 1.5-2 years to fully recover from PIED. For context, my PIED was so severe I literally could not get any sort of erection with a naked woman next to me; after a 90 day reboot and having sex like 14ish times to resensitize myself, I was rock hard during sex and it felt absolutely fantastic.

    The neurons in the sexual reward center of the brain of someone with PIED have connected the inputs of...
    • the visual/audio stimulation of porn and themes/genres present in it
    • the physical stimulation on your genitals/body from hands or other sexual paraphernalia
    ...with the outputs of...
    • the feeling of arousal
    • the feeling of climax
    Neurons that sense one or all of their inputs are activated, and their activation "power" is proportional to the number/intensity of the inputs. This activation makes the neurons associate the inputs and outputs more strongly, but also "refreshes" them in a way. If a neuron is not used it does not immediately die, but if not refreshed often enough or not intensely enough, it will eventually die.

    In a reboot, none of the inputs in the porn-wired neurons are activated. This causes the neurons, which are not being refreshed, to quickly wither and die. If you just go back to having sex, while the stimulation of porn isn't present, the feeling of genital stimulation still is. While the neural power is not as high (since not all the inputs are present), it does fractionally refresh the neuron. Therefore it takes the porn-addicted neurons much longer to wither and die in this individual.

    The 90 day reboot is suggested because many guys with PIED have varying levels of it. Some guys need to go just a week with no porn, others a month, others 2-3, and others need more. Unless you have an incredibly severe case of porn addiction and PIED (if you came from a BJ you definitely don't), somewhere in the 90 days or less category will very likely make your PIED next to negligible. If you do a 90 day reboot, you'll certainly either reach or exceed the amount of time you needed to go without stimulation to get rid of your PIED. If you do something in between, your odds of getting rid of the PIED go down each day short of 90.

    So in the end, it's really up to you and your girlfriend. You could straight shot for 90 and almost guarantee success, or go for less and possibly get less satisfactory results. (I feel like 45 days is in the middle of the "dead-dick period", where your brain's sexual reward center is kinda "asleep" because all the porn-wired neurons are never being stimulated, so it has no need to be "up". That area of the brain "wakes up" in a way when all the porn-wired neurons are gone and new ones are starting to form. Trying to have sex during the "asleep" period will either refresh the porn-wired neurons, or since your sexual reward center is still "asleep", you won't get aroused/erect at all, which could be pretty stressful and confusing (This part of the reboot sucks, but it's where the healing really happens). All in all, 45 days may not be a good day AT ALL to try having sex.). I was dating a girl when I was starting my reboot, and we both really wanted to fuck. Although the time in the middle isn't great, it's worth not having many problems down the road. My girlfriend actually felt really shitty that I wasn't gonna get pleasure for 3 months, but I told her we could either go through 3 months of no sex and then have great sex indefinitely, or try to have crappy sex often (at this point in time I still couldn't get an erection around her), and hope it gets better. If you're going for maximum overall enjoyment, I recommend the 90 days. If you two really like each other and want the best for each other, its the way to go. Read more on YBOP to figure out what might be a good number of days for you. And like a said earlier, you can do anything to her as long as it doesn't involve your dick, if that would cheer her up.

    PS: You said semi-hard mode earlier, and I'm wondering what you mean. If you're doing a reboot at all, you have to go for 0 porn and 0 masturbation. Using any of those will refresh those neurons, and will really slow your recovery.
     
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  12. Wow amazing response!! Thank you for all that info reading that was awesome. By semi hardmode I meant because I’m in a long distance relationship I’d go like 4 weeks without orgasm and then have an O with her and then do another 4 weeks. It’s been like this process for a while
     
  13. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Ok sick

    If you don't mind me asking, how bad is your PIED? If you can finish during sex in 15-20 minutes without masturbating, I would say to just stop using porn for like a year and keep having sex. When I started, I literally could not get erections, so there was nothing for me to lose aha.

    It's really a cost benefit thing. If the sex you're having is satisfactory, then there isn't much of a need for a reboot, although complete healing could take a year. If the sex isn't satisfactory despite the 4 week intervals, a 90 day reboot seems like the obvious choice. The 90 day reboot is nice because if you're not sure if you have a problem or how bad it is, the 90 day reboot always brings you back up to 100%. In all cases, it's the safest bet for success, but is also the hardest to accomplish.

    I would read up on YBOP to see if there are other confirmed stories or studies for the 4 week reboot interval method. I think 90 is best because it's a near guarantee to stop the PIED, but what you are proposing is not what I did so I cannot say for sure.

    Think about it like this:
    With your current arrangement, you have to give up 3 opportunities for sex. You can still kiss, cuddle, and sleep together. You can still finger and eat out your girlfriend to her heart's delight. You have to decide if the level of satisfaction and enjoyment you get from having sex 3 times is better or worse than the satisfaction you'll have in the future with better sex. I'm not sure how bad your PIED is so I can't guess what your route should be.

    In short, you're the master of your life, especially the sex parts. If you think things are good enough and don't need a change, then do that. If you want things to be better, then do that. I believe you're a smart and capable person, and you'll know the right answer either way
     
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  14. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    This FAQ page on YBOP is amazing. They have better answers than I do. There's also a section for rebooting with a partner.

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/

    This one is about sex during a reboot. I would read most of it, and also the blue links before the main body.

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/rebooting-with-a-partner-what-about-sex/

    Also if you haven't yet, you should tell your girlfriend that you have a problem. You don't need to tell her what porn you watch or how often, but she should understand what's happening.

    Just tell her "Hey so the trouble I've been having with my erections and finishing is from watching too much porn. I'm not watching porn anymore, but I'm not healed yet. There are certain steps we can take to make the problem go away."

    You can have her read these:
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/what-if-my-partner-is-a-porn-addict/
    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ybo...and-porn/boyfriend-quitting-porn-5-tips-2013/
     
  15. My pied is pretty awful. We don’t have much sex at all because of my PIED. I also have a problem with performance anxiety that causes me to pre ejaculate before even penetrating because of nerves. I think my root cause of performance anxiety is porn.
     
  16. When I quit porn for the first time and felt the “surge” of testosterone after 1 week of abstinence we had the best sex of all time and I could control when I wanted to O. It was amazing. But then I felt like I was just sent in the flatline and have been there ever since.
     
  17. Ur wrong
     
  18. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Well if you guys aren't really having sex, I don't see why a reboot would be a big issue. While a 45 day reboot is possible, 90 days works 99% of the time, and is definitely the safer bet. I don't see much of a loss of doing a reboot if you're having shitty sex.

    While I don't believe much in this theory, I've heard that the seek of orgasm and often rushed nature of masturbation conditions your body into premature ejaculation; I've heard of guys doing a reboot to help their premature ejaculation. It may be able to help you too.

    From my point of view, you don't have much to lose form a reboot. If you're gf is down for it, I would assume if she wants any sort of fulfilling sex, I would go for the 90 day reboot
     
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  19. SoundsGoodToMe

    SoundsGoodToMe Fapstronaut

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    Hey!
    I'm currently on day 6 and going strong.
    (Well I say I'm going strong...I'm f**king horny and want to c*m so badly. but the idea of having great sex with someone is enough to prevent me from relapsing I think.)

    I'm 28, gay and looked at porn daily age 13ish-28.
    the very few times I've had sex has been fking awful (not hard) and last week I couldn't even get fully hard to porn.

    Monday was the final straw, I did some research, found this site and dropped the habit in hopes I can re-gain my erection during sex and wipe porn-cravings from my brain for good.

    The thing that worrys me....I've seen people saying its good to have sex after 30 days of nothing. Can you explain a bit more about that please?

    E
     

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