Everyone at work makes fun of me, tips on how to get respected?

I would quit. If company is sexist there is no point in working for them. Honestly, before quitting I would secretly record everything for proof and sue them. I would also beat that guy but since you're a girl your only option is to ask/hire somebody to do so, but it probably won't solve your problem since whole company is full of jerks. In my opinion best thing you can do now is to speak with lawyer, and ask him what are your options. I'm pretty sure you could collect proofs and then sue whole company or those individuals.

 

I would kindly ask you. Did you have some emotional problem with your father when you were young? So, therefore, there could be an underlying issue of traumatic childhood (especially with father in your case) therefore you have very low self-esteem and you are "people pleaser" worried to create a conflict because you want everything to go right and smooth without creating trouble or standing for yourself.

You are literally bullied in your workplace and this will damage you badly mentally in your future if you won't stop it and it can create a mental disease!!!!! Get some balls please and stand up for yourself. You must !! I am saying this in a kindest possible way ever. Good luck to you.

 

Fart in their lunch

 

Ok for real though, the only way you can improve is if you find a female role model to follow. Men cannot help you because we can never comprehend what you go through, just as women can never comprehend what men go through.

Research female role models, find the ones who command respect with just their presence, and learn how they do it. There is a way to nonverbally convey that you are not someone to be messed with, learn that.

You'll know when you have succeeded when you are able to look people straight in the eye without feeling intimidated yourself, and you don't feel the need to be too nice to other people by continuing the conversation or laughing/smiling excessively (this is a common psychological problem for people who have been emotionally abused, something I have experienced).

But yeah, find a female role model.

 

What the heck. That sounds rediculous. I would start googling your rights and possibly seeking out legal advice from an attorney. I am not an attorney. I dont know europe laws but I assume that there are laws in place for this kind of treatment at work. There are in the USA i know that. HR is human resources department. They handle things like this generally in corporations. I would google stuff and/or get attorney. There has to be laws against this. An attorney can tell you how to handle the risk of them firing you out of the blue. Regardless. I dont know if this job is worth it. But its up to you. Maybe start looking at other options. Up to you though.

 

For having a good time at work, you must show self-confidence. Without healthy self-confidence, you won't get anywhere. Great self-confidence is also when they make fun of you then make fun of you as well in front of them, so will take their weapons from their hand. Be smiley, positive, friendly and don't be afraid to make fun of yourself in front of them but in a very self-confident way. They won't have anything to use against you. They only act on your reactions and vibrations. If you start to spread different reaction and vibration they will not be able to "attack you"

Watch videos like these and similar

 

No revenge, but forgiveness. That will do the job. Self-hatred is the most toxic trait you can own. You must get rid of it. You have just wrong programming and vibration from the time when you were bullied and you didn't know how to deal with that in that time. So you feel powerless. Forgive yourself and try to learn it now.

Now is the time to build more self-confidence, but not on arrogance but on kindness and being cool with yourself. Sounds weird I know but it is the right way. The more you are going to be angry on people around you the more you will have anger with yourself as well as you are projecting your inner state on others. You must find a way how to reconnect with yourself, start to respect yourself, find your own value without having any input from outside (negative or positive), and how to stand for yourself to protect your healthy boundaries. It is a long journey but you can make it.

 

People like the guy you are describing here thrive on putting people down to make them feel better about themselves. I don't know what the rules are over there but I know here where I live if someone said something like that there would be severe consequences. Anyways if HR is reluctant to do anything about it you may have to demand them to because what the guy is doing is severe harassment and that should not be tolerated.


Anyways good luck with they keep your head held high and remember it's just words none of which are true .

 

Damn life is going to be hard for me

 

Dont let it get to you man poeple will always try to bring you down because it makes them feel better so just keep your head up and remember life is amazing and you will be fine.

 

- Why are people making fun of you?
- What kind of work do you do, that the workplace is that sexist?

I can't offer anything but practical advice, but that's kind of hard when we don't know the circumstances.

Edit: I cannot imagine why anyone would call you a whore, do you wear short skirts at work, dress provocatively? Are you mean or loud?

 

i think every firm or company has a policy for safety of its workers
and i think every country has different rules
so i think you should take this matter in the hand of officials.........
and avoid being alone with these kind of people
no job is more important than your safety and well being

 

I think I'm stating the obvious: Get out of there.
I don't know about your qualifications, but there are jobs that require similar qualities as to what a barkeeper needs to be able to do. There are girls and boys - presumably - taking drugs on the toilets and your colleagues are sexist. I mean... why put yourself through that?
I'd ask myself - if I'd be in your shoes that is - am I happy where I work? (that's a no). Is there a perspective for me to be happy in the future? (don't know about that, doesn't look or sound like it though). Is there no other place I can be that would be better? (there might be!). And lastly, if the former answer was positive: What can I do to get there?
If you don't want to start a career, then you'll go with a job. That comes with more free time and less responsibility. If a career is out of the way, what kind of job would you like to do? What kind of environment are you willing to spend 6-8h a day in?

You see, I think you're willing to work on yourself and you reflect, which is great. But the environment you're in is essential to become better, you're making it harder for yourself by staying there. If you want to stop being a people-pleaser and do something for yourself, start by asking yourself what you want from life and don't accept the circumstances you're in right now. Changing the people in that bar has little probability to succeed. Getting out of there might be a first step to do something for your well being. Just try to not be naive about it and prepare.

Also, maybe try therapy, there's something like assertiveness training, it's very common practice among psychotherapists, training people to stand up for themselves. But yeah, the bar you're working in is not the best to try that out, if the people are that messed up there, they won't listen and you'll feel more hopeless than ever.

 

I'm not going to offer you situation specific advice, but will just mention that if you're looking to bolster your internal strength to help you deal with everything, these links may help:

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...eople-deal-with-pressure.205307/#post-1917503

keep fighting

 

S.ism aside, this is all really familiar to me. I've been bullied in most workplaces I have been in since school (where I was actually very happy). Sometimes I have dealt with it, with the help of management. Sometimes I have left. If you are going to leave, make sure that you have tried other avenues first. Three workplaces before age 27 is no big deal nowadays, I'd had ten different workplaces by that age, although I didn't put them all on my CV of course. The last 3 or 4 is plenty.

Please don't be embarrassed by other people's behaviour. You can't control how other people act, and you are not responsible for them choosing to act like this. They are the ones who should be embarrassed by their actions!

This is completely understandable, but I'm afraid it's not going to go away if you ignore it. Keep a record every time one of them crosses the line, in order to compile a dossier of their abuse to potentially use against them in the future. Even if you don't end up using it, it will make you feel better for their abuse going unchecked or unchallenged - you now have something you can use against them. You also need to tell them that they are out of line, and that they need to cut out this kind of behaviour. Try to pluck up the courage to say this before you get too enraged, you don't want them to think you are being hysterical or moody, so you need to tell them quite calmly that it needs to stop. If they don't obey, go to management with the incidents and dates you have made notes of, and await their reaction. Be prepared to quit, tell them how seriously you are taking the situation, and await their reaction. If they try to fob you off, threaten to quit. If you still don't get a reaction, get out of there. Some work environments are just toxic.

For what it's worth, I could NEVER work in a bar. I couldn't handle that kind of environment, drunk people and banter/bullying, potential for violence and dangerous people every day. I work in a cafe, which uses similar skillset but is much friendlier. This could be something to bear in mind.

Depending on your situation too, you might be better off working fewer hours in order to make time for studying and building your career. You can earn a lot more money working a lot less hard!

 

Think of one of these colleagues and decide you've had enough of this stupid excuse for a person. They don't treat you as a human being, so you don't need to treat them as a human being. Cut them out of your life, even if you physically have to be in the same room as them at times. "Build a wall" lol.

Do whatever it takes, within legal limits, to stop suffering any more bullshit from that one person. It's not so hard, believe me. They have no morals, no code, so don't get involved in their bullshit games. See how quickly they fall apart when you 100 per cent don't give the faintest crap about them.

 

Good for you standing up for yourself don take shit off anyone