Everyone at work makes fun of me, tips on how to get respected?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by green lion eating the sun, Jan 7, 2019.

  1. I am a 27 year old girl. It is embarassing for me even asking help for this, especially at 27. I had 3 jobs so far as employee and in both of these workplaces my colleagues always made fun of me. I dunno what to do. I work insanely long shifts until early morning that I struggle to have the mental and physical strenght to do anything else other than sleep when i don't work

    so i have to spend a lot of hours with my colleagues (same level at work). sometimes i broke down in tears once i got home for also the way they treated me, made fun often, smirk at each other when i enter a room and stop talking bad about me and also i work with only guys expect few girls and they are highly sexist and make disgusting s. jokes

    my reaction now is i closed up and barely exchange few words, usually when i have to. i tried to be moved to another workplace of the same company but they said they will look into it. I dunno, I really hope they will transfer anywhere else. I hate those guys (first workplace where i feel discriminated for being a woman and the kind of jokes are so disgusting, even once the male manager reunitaed us and showed us a musical video and at the end a p scene)

    but still i see that i changed workplaces 3 times and even if slightly different, i always had my colleagues making fun of me and working so long hours I find it horrible. i watch motivational videos but i guess my vibe is saying to people to take advantage of me. I also have colleagues of 19, mostly younger than me and at 27 it annoys me to be made fun by a 19 year old kid

    any tips? I wanna have a good time at work. I wanna start 2019 really good. I want to get respected everywhere but especially at work
     
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  2. Drock989

    Drock989 Fapstronaut

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    totally understand where you are coming from, I work with 98% men in construction and my wife is also in construction which I know men say things about her behind her back, difference is she is the boss, she runs the show so she could fire people so she doesn't hear it to her face, I definitely know how men can be, I used to be one of them who would cast jokes. I used to get no respect not from workers though, from my own family, but I recently started to just say fuck it, if I don't get the respect I deserve I demand it, and if I don't get it, then see ya later..

    the absolute biggest thing I've came across in my recovery is just to accept your faults and love yourself, if you truly love yourself, it doesn't. matter what anyone says, you know what's true and you know yourself, if you love yourself, no one can hurt you

    P.S. on behalf of us men I apologise for us being pigs,
     
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  3. I_AM_AWESOME

    I_AM_AWESOME Fapstronaut

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    Hey,
    sorry to hear about your experience, that sucks. Some younger people havent matured to understand how hurtful these things can be.
    You have an advantage because you now know and can recognize it. You'll never likely do the same to others.
    You also have the advantage because you're in a spot to recognize and learn that people do these things because of their own issues and it really has nothing to do with you.
    Comprehending what I just said and fully understanding it may take some time. It did for me at least. I understood it but when I recognized it with myself then I really understood it and then from there I could sympathize and have empathy for them.
    Keep studying motivation, those motivational videos are awesome. Read more about that, find books on the subject. I read one called Your a badass which was good. Find books like that and you'll understand better and get good at dealing with those people.

    Another person said love yourself. When I first heard that I didnt understand what it meant. Take time to learn if you dont kmow. It can be as simple as taking care of yourself, to treating yourself to understanding that helping yourself thru this is a form of loving yoluself.

    I wish you well, feel free to ask if you have questions, I'm happy to help.
     
  4. Xander_

    Xander_ Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    I do not have experience in terms of people being sexist to me at workplace, i have worked in few different companies and people have mocked me indirectly or directly. I was 17 in that company some people have been very rude to me, it was really annoying, being that young had me thinking there was something wrong with me.

    I am 21 now, what i have learned so far toxic people will do their thing, it is how it is. Chances are they wont suddenly respect you thats for sure. It sucks that you cannot change their manners and their points of view. But the good thing is you can change yours, perhaps that is a good way to start with the change you want to see.

    From my own experience, what i figured out about such bad people is that god knows what they are dealing with in their own minds and lives behind workplace. In the end i had to deal with them for 8 hours a day sometimes even more, which wasnt easy, but on a second thought they need to deal with themselves 365 days a year.

    My advice is to work on your mindset, because it all starts from there. Whatever they say says more about them, than about you and if you learn how to simply not care of what such people think or say to you (unless they are being constructive), you will see a drastic change in many areas of your life. Know yourself and know your value, nobody knows you better than you do. So who cares what they have to say after all...

    Also, in the end, your health should be put at first place, if there is no one superior you can complain to, rather change the company.
     
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  5. meatsandwich

    meatsandwich Fapstronaut

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    I think most what you can do is do some training and get your masculinity up, as they wouldn't dare to make fun
    of you because of your strength, at least it have worked for me. :)
     
  6. CBAWSS

    CBAWSS Fapstronaut

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    Dreams of reality's peace
    Blow steam in the face of the beast
    The sky could fall down, the wind could cry now
    The strong in me, I still smile

    - Kendrick Lamar, i

    You're probably outshining them in some way. An inferiority complex (on their part) can turn the nicest person into the nastiest a$$hole. At least, that's how it's been from my experience. They've gotta get their rocks off somehow. To compensate for their lack of talent or whatever gold quality you possess.

    That's how it's been for me personally. The solution? KEEP SHINING. THEN DISH IT BACK. TEN TIMES HARDER. They'll respect you for it...might even want to be your friend ;) Remember...every day above ground is a good day!
     
  7. VeganRights

    VeganRights Fapstronaut

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    Sorry to hear about that.. my suggestion may sound like a 'defeat' but i would maybe search for another job. I can relate how bad it can be in certain environments, and now i have a job in a more suitable environment, it helps me to have more peace of mind. You need an environment that uplifts you. Also be most kind to yourself, top notch self care, trying to become the best you.
    If you feel like you have to stay there, don't change for them, stay authentic, but just learn skills on self confidence, not absorbing other people's negativity etc
     
  8. ujing

    ujing Fapstronaut

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    Respect is something you never ask, it is to be earned. As far as colleagues are concerned, better you should focus on yourself & your work, nothing could be gained by focusing on such negative people. When you can't answer them in their ways then it will be good if you ignore them because you keep noticing they will keep doing. Try to upgrade your skills & knowledge at work, the people who are mocking for what you are doing today should ask you tomorrow how you did it.
    There are two ways of living life either you accept what you got in life & stop complaining or the other way figure the problem fix it with a solution. Even if you quit this workplace may be you will find the same scenario at other place, then quit then other workplace then again quit..repeat mode till you don't find perfect workplace for yourself. Looks normal but not so much practically feasible so till you don't find any perfect workplace in future, try to make your current workplace perfect. At every place, you will find people pulling your leg whenever you try to climb the ladder by doing something good/innovative, let them have what they actually deserve & that is ignorance. We can't get everything perfect in life but it's up to us how we make perfect of it.
     
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  9. diesel2256

    diesel2256 Fapstronaut

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    If people keep treating you poorly, it probably has something to do with how you're acting -- some people just seem to invite abuse.

    Without knowing what the jokes are, what kind of jobs you're working, etc it's hard to give you detailed advice, but generally one of the rules of jokes is always agree with them and then amplify. For example, I'm a thin dude and have been mocked for being a twig or whatever. Instead of defending myself, I'll respond with "Yep, I'm thin -- probably because I don't eat ice cream and cry myself to sleep every night."

    Something women have to understand about men is we bond by bashing each other. Naturally, since you're in the work place that will tend to happen with you too. If a guy who gets made fun of runs away, can't hit back, takes it too personally, gets overly offended, etc, he's viewed as a loser and will be made fun of even more. These kinds of guys aren't any fun and they'll also be avoided. The same goes for women -- fragile, easily offended, non-playful women aren't any fun either. The result is people will just make fun of them behind their backs.

    Respect is always earned. If you want respect, you need to stand up for yourself. Don't take things so personally. Hit back. Most of all, have fun with it. When someone insults me, makes a joke, whatever, I take it as them throwing the first punch. It's a great excuse to slam the shit out of them in return -- they asked for it. If you can do this in a funny, exaggerated way, you'll earn respect.

    Keep in mind, the sexist jokes are mostly just easy material. It's low hanging fruit.
     
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  10. If you’ve gone to three jobs and the same issue is following you, then it might be something you’re doing. What do you think you could be doing to cause these people to poke fun at you? And are they actually making fun of you or are you hearing them laugh when you come into a room and assuming they’re making fun of you?
     
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  11. I would laughf in there face teenagers all think they got the world in there hands. Don't ever let them think there bugging you because they feed off it. I do have some other tips but breaking a chair over someones head might get your arrested.
     
  12. I don't like to say this but these things rarely change. Either ignore them or find a different job.
     
  13. Nick:3

    Nick:3 Fapstronaut

    I would say view yourself more as a woman, since I noticed you called yourself girl at the start of this thread.

    Step 1 - View yourself as the bomb! as the best, number 1. View yourself as being an awesome woman, and think about qualities that you love about yourself (possibly meditate on this) - once you respect yourself more, others will respect you.

    Step 2 - forgive others. You mentioned that you're tired after work, anger and holding on to the past of what others did to you and possibly thinking about what you will do to them may give you a strong aggresive energy in the short term, but in the long term they will drain you. Let go of these feelings just like you'd let go of something really hot. every day forgive someone, and think more of those you love....or simply let go of thought and just focus on the breath, be present this can work wonders.

    Step 3 - exercise at least twice a week. Once you get a sport or hobby that you can see yourself improving at, your self esteem will rise. I don't care if you say you don't have the time, there's always time! If you work 12 hours a day every day, then simply do squats or press ups before you go to bed 3 times a week.

    Hope this helps!
     
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  14. Thank you all for your replies, they really made me reflect on the situation
    Update: i worked one day in a different venue of the same company. it was better than with my last colleagues, not amazing though( i tried to focus on keeping my back straight and feel the others are not better than me because they are not, it went ok, i need to remind to get respect each day at work so i don't let the thing escalates as it happened in the past. also i went for a quick run before going to work and it made me feel proud and strong in myself)

    I re-started reading a book by Wayne Dyer "Pulling Your Own Strings" that helped me a lot in the past and saw results. I hope they keep me at this venue. i finish max at 1am. super doable for me. i cried this morning, i wanna be super respected that people don't wanna mess with me, that is the point i wanna reach. i just want to keep this job until i reach the money i want and can do the job i will do for life after i go back to uni. that's all i want. i am going to get there. in a year from now my life will be as i planned it in my mind

    one manager who worked at my ex venue is pretty s.ist, but he is the only one. the other guys are normal. at the other venue, the level of s.ism was huge and unbearable. i don't say what happened coz it may trigger but that was very disgusting. that made me feel bad being a woman. they were not normal funny a bit s.ist jokes. i had been bullied all my school years. when this happened i felt when i was still in school, my 15 year old self

    this week also i had to start an extra course in the company where i work and i found 3 of my ex colleagues. it is insane how much 2 of them want me to fail. they were making fun of me and so i stopped talking to them but now with the course and other 15 people i see they are not happy when i smile and talk with the other people in the course. i saw one of these assholes yesterday while walking to my train station and he didn't look so cool and full of himself being there on his own, more like a loser. i was very close to quit my job when i started this thread but the reactions of these ex colleagues that wanted me to fail and seeing their disappointment fuels me greatly to keep going, just to prove them wrong about me
     
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  15. my managers gave me to work to another place of the same company today and i did. insanely far from where i live. the colleagues there didn't respect almost immediately after meeting me. i give this no-confidence vibe lately even if i try to motivate myself to get respected but then when faced with people at work when i should show self-respect, i just let myself go and i am there only to focus on work

    it also have to do with the fact that at this job they make me do humiliating tasks that kill my dignity. so after that at my house i feel a worthless piece of trash. i need to memorize stuff for a course i took at work and then i can do what my contract said they hired me for instead of a lower grade tasks i can't stand anymore

    can someone give me their opinions? i am lost and fed up in general
     
  16. Amphibian

    Amphibian Fapstronaut

    I'm going to apologize for skipping a bunch of posts, but I'm going to take a different tact here.

    Write down each incident with the time and date. Make notes of that. Do it the same day if you can, or do a little note pad.

    Contact HR and/or contact an attorney.
     
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  17. chris555

    chris555 Fapstronaut

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    You can't let them get to you I went through this with my job a month ago. I was working with a guy that didn't know when to keep his mouth shut and I find the more pissed off I got the worst he would be like he could sense it.

    So what I did was changed my mindset I started talking confident like nothing he said bugged me and eventually there was no satisfaction from him doing it anymore. So dont let them know it bugs you think of happy thoughts and you'll power through trust me.

    If they offend you in front of your face just tell them you dont find that funny and tell a supervisor.

    Dont let these idiots affect your mood and change your life they are not worth any thought.
     
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  18. Driving a long way to work sucks and if your not being treated well I would be looking for another job sounds like there acting this way hopping you will quit. I don't know what there paying you but it doesn't sound like its worth it.
     
  19. yyz33

    yyz33 Fapstronaut

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    I would first respect yourself. Respect yourself, do not try to seek any kind of respect from these people, you cannot control if they respect you or not.. What you can do is decide what you will tolerate. You can do that by reporting this shit to HR, and saying that it needs to stop. By federal law offensive remarks and discrimination are not permitted in the workplace. I assume you are in the USA. Life is too short for this nonsense. This shit sounds ridiculous and unprofessional. If it were me I would focus on doing a great job at work and finding people that you respect and actually like being around at work and outside of work. You must be self validating. You really don't deserve this.
     
  20. recently a male colleague (of my new venue of the same company) called me a wh..e and there was the female manager hearing that and she did not do anything. he said he calls names his gf and mother too. i did not do anything and i am not a wh.e. i heard guys there several times calling names a girl working there too. the company is very s.ist. he told other times he would f. me a. after i completed a task at work. he has a gf and wants attention from me when i am only professional and don't care about that and that makes me sick to my stomach

    i told him not to call me that. that makes me feel bad as a woman. i am even ashamed to tell my parents about this last episode. i just want him to stop. i dunno how to do it. im in europe. the job is pretty fun but this is awful. thanks for saying i don't deserve this, i know i don't. no woman should be treated like this. i was only thinking to tell for real my managers again. what does the hr do exactly? i don't want to risk being fired though out of the blue
     

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