Escorts

I have a problem with sex workers, and so does OP and many people who are viewing and commenting on this forum.

The fact you are calling us all "100x worse than alcoholics" is pretty callous. In fact, all your posts are callous. Do you have any empathy, my friend? Because all it seems you care about is reinforcing your own prejudices and hatred towards women and other people in this community. I genuinely feel sorry for whoever you trick into having sex with you because you are filled with so much hate and negativity it's almost pitiful.

I can't help but wonder if all this hate you have for others is because you just hate yourself so much.

PS
I'm not even going to comment on your dad's inheritance money argument. Your straw man / false dichotomy arguments aren't going to work here, sorry. Won't bite.

 

I agree. It takes a lot of emotional energy to respond to some of these posts, but there's gotta be some balance in the universe because it seems like this place tends to breed the same type of spiteful person and negative feedback loops.

 

Why are you so concerned about what other people are doing with their sex lives? Get a life, dude.

This post was about helping OP cope with an addiction to sex workers, and you came here lambasting OP for his problems and sex work in general. That's not what this community is about. Go take your negativity somewhere else.

 

You're not helping OP. You're spreading hate and propaganda, and you gave zero actionable advice other than hate and propaganda, which is coming from the fact that you hate capitalism? Guess what buddy, I hate capitalism, too, but I also respect women. It can go both ways.

Nothing you've said is backed by science or practical actionable advice. My response refuting your original post is backed by research you can easily Google yourself, because there is a lot of research and a lot of articles from reputable sources that have been written about this topic. And it's pretty clear you haven't done any actual reading about the sex work industry other than whatever screwed up prejudice you disguise as moralism. (Unless you believe Google is run by conspiracists who are pro-sex workers.)

He seems pretty self-aware about his problems to me. You telling him what he is doing is immoral/unfair to poor people because it's your personal opinion that is not backed by any science, data, or research, is not helping. It's just making it all about you. Get out of here with your "Holier Than Thou" energy, dude. There's no way you can seriously think you are helping anyone by saying stuff like this, like you're better than anyone because you wouldn't pay for sex. If you are like this in real life, please be aware that it is a ginormous red flag and is very off putting.

Just in case you edit your original post, for everyone to see, here it is:

I'm done responding to you.

I think it's pretty obvious that you are in the wrong here for anyone reading this thread, so my job is done. Have a good day.

 

As much as I talk about how wonderful this community is, there's the other side of the community...and the occassional destructive, counterproductive, and irresponsible commenter that appears. This is a place for recovery and occasionally someone like "loneloan" appears and spews garbage. Not sure if it's because of their location, religion, or whatever, but this person is clearly ignorant to the purpose of this community. Loneloan should be ignored in this instance.

 

100% agree...the toxicity and stupidity being spewed should be ignored. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Moving forward, we should report this moron and ignore him.

Many of us suffer from this addiction, so let's continue having productive correspondence regardless of what type of disgrace attempts to spew garbage.

 

This past week I was browsing escorts and was tempted to get one but by this weekend my good sense kicked back in and I quit entertaining the thoughts.

 

Hey man, great to hear you held out. At least you don't have to deal with processing the guilt. I've been in your shoes plenty of times...as this addiction sometimes creeps in when I'm least expecting it. Quickly acknowledging how I'm feeling and switching gears is usually what I need to do to work through the urge. Taking action right away and leveraging my recovery tools is crucial because once I cross the line there's no turning back.

Keep up the great work!

 

Nice work - and helpful response
I share your fight. If I could only connect my knowledge of the painful guilt/shame that follows to the immediate allure of acting out I'd be good. But I (maybe others as well) overestimate future me ability to "process the guilt"

 

One of the things I do before acting out is something I call "playing the tape back," meaning, thinking back at how I felt in the past...the pain, guilt, sadness, shame, etc. associated with acting out. Sometimes just thinking about those horrible feelings I felt is enough to deter me from acting out. Unfortunately, this method is not 100% guaranteed. I'm an addict and relapse is a major part of my story.

Today I'm sober and grateful. I've met a lot of good people in this community and other similar communities who I share this painful addiction with. Through the process of sharing my experiences and hope, as well as listening to the experiences and hope from others, I know there is a way up and out.

 

I can totally relate. I discovered them shortly after I almost went blind, because I didn’t want to lose the opportunity to feel what it’s like to be with a woman while I still had my sight. I’ve never been a relationship and always struggled talking to girls.

I’ve been addicted since then and I hate it. It’s destroying me mentally and financially, it’s truly an addiction. I managed to stop for a few months but last week I relapsed and I’m back to the start. Now day 8. At times, it’s all I can think about.

 

Glad your back at it...and on day 8. That's awesome man! Don't beat yourself up, just get back at it. Take action. Find recovery tools that work. Implement them.

Yes, I totally agree. This escort/massage addiction is debilitating...mentally, financially, spiritually, and so on. I'm the same way as you mentioned...sometimes it's the only thing I can think about. However, it doesn't have to be like this for us. There's a way up and out. We work a program of recovery and we experience the gifts of sobriety. We keep at it and we are freed from the obsession and compulsion to engage in these behaviors. But that's the hard part and why we must continue taking action.

Keep us updated. Wishing you the best!

 

Thanks for your support man, really appreciate it. Even today I'm still thinking about going, like it's my only form of release that I need to see an escort otherwise I won't be able to relax.

I appreciate you opening up too, what did you find that helped you the most? I feel like I've made so many improvements in my life, but this I just can't seem to stop.

 

Tbh, I 100% relate to your false sense of need and desire...it happens to me as well. But just to get things straight, the NoFap community as a whole encompasses many different types of people with many different variations of this addiction. In addition, many of us have different goals and priorities. For example, some people are trying to get sober from masturbating and porn. I wish it was just that for me...but my intention is to get sober from Escorts and Massage Parlors. For that reason, I sometimes require M to help me get over the overpowering urge to visit an escort or massage parlor. Now please understand, I'm not telling you what to do or what your recovery program should look like. But for me, I understand the overpowering urges to engage in risky and illegal practices.

Please reach out to me via private message as some of this may be triggering for others.

 

Paying for sex is evil because it destroys women, wives families......and men.

 

for what its worth, ive though about escorts myself. my situation has made sex impossible for years. but reading threads like this has helped me stay away from a new toxic addiction.
so thank you - and know that the suffering at least has some purpose in helping others

 

Hey man, I’ve been reading your experience and insight in this thread and appreciate your transparency.

I’m a “recovering addict” myself. I’ve been able to completely drop porn around a year ago after 17ish years of addiction to it. And I also went around 6-7 months of no masturbation. But the addictions to massage parlors has been brutal. A friend of mine introduced me to them around 8 years ago and it’s only escalated ever since.

When I started detoxing myself off porn around a year ago, I had around a 4 month streak of not visiting any massage parlors and so I I thought I was done! I was so ecstatic to have kicked this horrible addiction, but then I gave in. And also started doing M as well…

I’m doing a bit better right now, haven’t relapsed in visiting any parlors since the end of September. But, like you shared, I’ve been regularly masturbating in order to give in to the greater vice and pay for a stranger to have sex with me.

Overall, I’m in great fear of this addiction being found out and lose my wife and kids and overall my whole reputation in church…I can’t imagine her leaving me, taking the kids, and just forsaking all that we’ve built.

And even more, as a Christian, I don’t want to stand before the Lord when I’m dead and have “sex addict” as my legacy. That literally is scaring the hell out of me…I want to enter glory and so I have no peace at all unless I know that I’ve completely left this sinful problem in my life.

I’m very grateful to this forum and the NoFap community. It’s helped me a lot this past year.

 

Hey bro, thanks for sharing your story.

I know exactly where you’re at.

Ever since I’ve gotten married nearly a decade ago, I’ve had this struggle. And after every kid that was born into my family, I’ve promised myself that I’m done. And sadly…I went right back in…

By God’s Grace, I’m in a much better place, although I’m not fully at where I want to be. But that’s life, it not always as we’ve expected it to be..

How has the fight with the urges been as of late?

 

I share this battle with you. I don't know if one addiction is stronger than another, but the massage parlor definitely sets a deep hook. Been able to mostly avoid but continue to struggle with an occasional relapse. (as was the case recently)
My response to temptation has been to 1.) get busy; 2.) try to visualize the consequences - there are supernatural consequences for the misuse of another person; the stress and guilt; and financial. Suspect 12-step (as mentioned above) is the right route but couldn't find a good sponsor fit in SAA. Will try that again though. Meanwhile, the posts here are helpful.
At the same time, I spend a lot more time in prayer, since I believe I need God's help to overcome this addiction.

 

Wow bro, I saw your John Calvin avatar and I figured you attend a Reformed church like myself. I can't believe you're struggling with this despite being married with children. Myself being a single Christian Man my struggle is primarily because I'm single and its really tough to meet a single Christian woman. At my church there's almost none, its mostly married families. This has been a huge struggle for me and Satan uses it many times and it really trashes my faith sometimes. Sometimes i even get dumb ideas like actually paying for an escort just because I'm really struggling and i think its just unfair and many times I felt like quitting being a Christian and give up going to church.