Casual sex is as bad as porn

This!

 

its sin, lust, sexual immorality, its no better than porn.

 

Ooookay, so lets keep the religious statements of "Sin" and "Morality" and "Procreation" out of the discussion for once (or at leats a moment please). I thought NoFap was secular, but I sometimes get the feeling there are a group of orthodox Christians who leave no room for another philosophy of life.

What is mentally wrong with having sex outside marriage? Almost more people in Western Europe are not marries but do have a stable relationship with children.
What is mentally destructive about having sex with someone you like, someone you definitely 'pair' with on physical aspects but simply don't love romantically? I think people can be perfect friends with benefits without getting committed in a relationship which, with all its benefits, also can have some severe downsides.

 

what happens if you get her pregnant? youd be stuck with a child with a woman you dont love, thats just one outcome. But to be honest without the bible and faith anything can be considered good according to humans without the bible rape might be considered normal, so if you take religion out of the picture than what is right or wrong?. Without Gods word and his guidance humanity would be lost, what would be considered good and what would be considered bad without religion?. Without religion there would be no law or morals, nothing to guide us, the world would be a lawless land.

 

Wow, I hope you are not seriously considering everyone with a different view on life as completely a-moral? In that case you'd say more than half the worlds population has no concept of good and evil and thats just plain insulting if you'd ask me.

Secular people too live by laws and moral principles, like not doing to others what you wouldn't want to be done to you; or make other peoples lifes as pleasant as possible without limiting your own too much. The bible is not the sole standard in morality

About your question on pregnancy: there's a lot of very safe contraceptions you know? Condoms, pill, vasectomy, spiral. And in worst case, emergency postcoital contraception, though I think those can have a bit too much side effects.

 

The thing is Christianity has some things to say about sex and if you're a Christian you'll be influenced by what you know.

But anyway I don't think premarital sex is wrong per-say. The Bible doesn't really say it's wrong and in some parts, it seems like it's accepting of premarital sex. It's really a complicated book but people try to simplify it.

Having said that I think casual sex can be destructive. The Guardian reported 'sex within relationships is said to improve cardiovascular health, reduce depression and boost immunity, but social science research has often linked casual encounters to feelings of sexual regret, low self-esteem and psychological distress'.

Sam Smith sings of how one night stands can cause mental damage in his song Stay With Me.

Where in the Bible does it say rape is bad?

 

I see what you're getting at, but you miss a key point; you had to put in EFFORT to have this hookup. Had to actually go out there and play the game to get the prize. With PMO, you literally do nothing to earn that, which is what fries your reward system. Furthermore, not all people are ready for marriage, or even interested in LTRs. These people still have biological urges, so casual sex is their way to fufill this need. As long as it doesn't affect your life in a negative fashion, casual sex isn't immoral (in my opinion).

 

notice I said *excessive*, meaning intense fantasy and desire of a particular woman's vagina or mouth or whatever. Lust in itself is not intrinsically wrong, in fact as a Christian I find it amazing that God loved us enough to give us the desire to multiply.

 

Why do people say masterbation? ^^

 

"But anyway I don't think premarital sex is wrong per-say. The Bible doesn't really say it's wrong and in some parts, it seems like it's accepting of premarital sex. It's really a complicated book but people try to simplify it."

I could type it all out, but just read the link, its so much easier: https://studentsoul.intervarsity.org/why-wait

"Where in the Bible does it say rape is bad?"

A lot of times. Here is one example.
Deuteronomy 22:23-27

“If there is a girl who is a virgin engaged to a man, and another man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city and you shall stone them to death; the girl, because she did not cry out in the city, and the man, because he has violated his neighbor’s wife. Thus you shall purge the evil from among you.
But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the girl; there is no sin in the girl worthy of death, for just as a man rises against his neighbor and murders him, so is this case. When he found her in the field, the engaged girl cried out, but there was no one to save her.”

 

I am expriencing the same problem.Its like you get so used to going to that happy place, you forget the reason you go there is becuase you are running away from something

 

Here's my thread on the deceit of pre-marital sex

I agree with you @Clarke

It's sad that only a few express it here, but it's alright, keeping the good fight.

PROOF:

 

Wow! This is going to turn into something now. Lol! Just so we're clear I'm not saying this to justify having premarital sex. I'm a virgin and if I date a girl who wants to wait until marriage I have no problem with it. Also, if I date a girl who wants to have sex after the first date I would tell her no. In my mind at least 6 months of dating before sex, ideally a year. I just object to people who try to simplify the Bible or say the Bible is very clear about something when there's not a lot in the Bible is clear. I also hate how people read the scriptures without considering the historical influences. I find it staggering how a number of Christians say they hate history.

The thing is it doesn't make it clear.

"One of the things I find really difficult about the Bible and peoples use of the Bible is when people say, 'the Bible clearly says' and I want to go no not sure it clearly does". - Dr Paula Gooder

This is what I think:

You can look at it the verses the article mentioned in the way they do or you can look at it a different way.

What is sexual immorality? The evil ascribed to sexual acts that violate social conventions.

The thing about the writings of Paul and other epistles is that they are letters, not scripture. When it is said, 'All scripture is given by inspiration of God' in 2 Timothy the writer isn't talking about these letters being sent around the Roman Empire but the Torah. The writer saying his letter and other letters are given by the inspiration of God would be like me saying all my posts are given by the inspiration of God. I would say maybe some of my posts might be directed by the holy spirit but sometimes they're not. Sometimes I'm wrong, sometimes I say things out of anger, sometimes my intent isn't good. I think the same thing could be said about the epistles. The writers were human beings who had a limited understanding and who made mistakes. Paul admits in one letter himself and others see in part.

When it comes to sexual immorality written about in scripture, I think it's a reaction to the Roman sexual ethics. I admit there's more I could and should learn about the Roman culture but I know a bit and one thing I know is normal sexual behaviour back then is now illegal in most countries. Rape and paedophilia didn't just happen, it was expected to happen. A man wanted sex with anyone and he was powerful enough to take he could.

Let's think about Paul for a second. He's had a powerful encounter with God and now he's organising a movement. I think what we see with his writing is him trying to figure out who is Jesus and how should the early church live in light of who Jesus is. What we see is a man showing us his thoughts as he figures things out. It's important to remember the gospels were in the process of being written - Paul didn't have the written gospels in front of him to guide him. We see Paul looking at the culture and seeing how evil it is and him encouraging the church to not behave as the Romans do. He's setting up new social conventions that protect the vulnerable and weak. He's telling men in the church that just becasue you can take it doesn't mean you should. The sexual immorality he's talking about isn't premarital sex but sexual assault and abuse.

When I used to think we must save ourselves for marriage I led a Bible study and when researching I was shocked at how much of a struggle it was to find a verse that directly said sex should be saved for marriage. Eventually, I found one and that was Hebrews 13:4 but let's look at it properly.

Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Marriage honoured
To honour means to respect. Does premarital sex mean you're not respecting a marriage? I'd say no. To have premarital sex doesn't mean you're uncommitted. You can still be committed.

Marriage bed pure
Purity is an interesting word because so much of time we think of it in a sexual way but it's more than that. In my view to live in purity means love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. If you save yourself for marriage but are impatient or heartlessness then your marriage bed isn't pure. It amazes the number of people who save themselves for marriage yet are most unloving and unkind people you'll ever meet. They think they're pure but they're deceiving themselves.

Adulterer sexual immorality
Adultery is bad and as I covered sexual immorality is evil. But again this is about not being like the Roman culture full of sexual assault and abuse.

 

I 100% disagree with this. Casual sex can at least be healthy like sex in a relationship and has nothing to share with porn.

 

First, the letters written weren't automatically in the bible. The NT is a collection of works that complied with the old testament, each other, and the testimonies of the witnesses. There were other letters not included. Its not like one guy could have screwed up while writing the bible.

Secondly, that is on old argument that is frequently used to bypass an unpleasant commandment. While there is no bible verse that reads "thou shalt not have sex before marriage", the bible makes it clear that having sex with a hooker is sinful. While paying for sex is a far cry from premarital sex, there is one glaring similarity, which is that they both are out of wedlock. What is the difference between having sex with a prostitute and having sex with a girl to whom you are not yet married? Money? Future marriage? Could you not marry a woman whom you had paid for sex in the past? I would suggest the difference is marriage, not uncertain future marriage, but actually being husband and wife.

Matthew 5:28 "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

This verse is pretty self-explanatory.

 

We say the same here about the USA with their immense social inequity (15% below the povertyline, well done!) and warmongering in countries where they've no business poking around in. But that doesn't mean I'm willing to use that to discredit your arguments, I try to use reason and logic for that. So can we quit the argumentum ad hominem or do you want this topic to turn into a flamewar about who's country or continent is a bigger f-up ?