Can't stop relapsing after years of trying

Thank you for your comment. I’ve been getting out more regularly. I get more confident if I don’t PMO. I’m introverted, though I like associating with friends in small groups. I’ve made a list of safe spaces and I’m taking baby steps to reduce my agoraphobia and anxiety. One of my fears is of being attacked or robbed by strangers or saying the wrong thing in conversation. Even interactions with cashiers can be challenging at times. Getting better as I practice.

 

I pinpointed the cause in one sentence based on that long post you made. Its up to you what u take from that. I hope its apparent PMO is not the way to deal with frustration.

Also, you not trying hard, you are a chronic relapser. So you try for a while, than you stop. And you do this to yourself for years.

It will never be easy. You lack the dedication. Nobody can give you that, but you.

 

Don't believe the people who tell you that it's "never gonna be easy", or that "you have to try hard".

Of course it's never gonna be easy if you'll be craving orgasms while doing NoFap. Of course it's not gonna be easy if you think you make a sacrifice by doing NoFap. Of course you will never try hard if the method you use is based solely on willpower.

Just think for a moment, why do we even crave it in the first place?

We crave it because of society's brainwashing, we've been brainwashed since the sexual devolution that orgasms are the most important thing in life, as if without it, your life is just half full, and you're missing out on something.

So why don't I feel like missing out on heroin? Heroin gives you a 1000 times bigger orgasm!

This belief is absolute horseshit, and is itself again based on hedonism i.e valuing your life by pleasure only.

You need to step out of the matrix and see what a stupid belief this actually is. Neither orgasms, nor porn, nor masturbation is contributing to your life in any kind of way. It's just a slight parameter change, your life will continue to be as it is.

Also, if you step out of the matrix, you will see what porn really is: Just a video of two apes copulating. We are apes, and a porn video is no different from a video showing two gorillas copulating.

So think about it, you (subconsciously due to brainwashing) define your life value by how many videos of two apes copulating you've been watching.



And while you do it, you masturbate, which doesn't change shit in your life.

This is silly, isn't it?

It's like I'd be watching an Animal Channel documentary of two gorillas copulating, while I'm fingering my asshole (just like masturbation, it's pointless, useless, messy and stinky)

 

You can do it ! Better to be free than a slave ! Yucky porn , or more beneficial options with your time ! It’s a no brainer, hop on the train , from freedom of porn pain .

 

Trying to start again also after years of relapsing over and over again. I work from home and literally have no communication with anyone at all on most days. This feeling of loneliness has made my already bad addiction even worse over the last few years - especially when the pandemic started.

Working from home with no friends, no contact with coworkers for years has really taken a toll..and without motivation to accomplish much I just turn back to the only friend I feel I have..the thing that makes me feel good...PMO. I don't want to be a prisoner to it anymore though. I've been addicted for so so long and tried to quit so many times...it just feels like eventually the feelings of loneliness and sadness and boredom creep in and I turn to PMO to cope.

 

I've been PMO-ing for over 50 years and have tried to stop countless times. I've relapsed four times since joining this community in September of last year. But I've kept trying. In the past I would give up after the first, maybe second relapse. In retrospect, I wasn't really, sincerely committed to stopping. I am this time around.

In addition to interacting here, I see a therapist, exercise regularly, meditate every day, and attend a recovery support group based on Buddhist principles. I'm even flossing every day. These are all positive changes and they all help. I've recently discovered a website that has given me more perspective on my addiction than I've ever had before. It also has a comprehensive series of 72+ self-directed lessons to end addictive behavior and live a healthy, values-based life. Not someone else's values, my values. Check out Recoverynation.com and see what you think.

If found this super helpful/inspiring:
Change is not only possible, it is unavoidable. You will change and the direction of that change will be driven by what actions you take. You can never read another word and your life has already been destined to change. Continue to fall helpless to your compulsive patterns and the change will be a deeper ingraining of the addiction and a greater swath of destruction. Continue to engage in a pattern of relapse/recovery and the change will be a reinforcement of your inability to manage your life without addiction. Continue to pursue a sincere, complete commitment to rebuilding the core of who you are — building a life based on an evolving value system — and the change will involve living a life that you simply cannot currently comprehend. Not a perfect life, but a genuine life. One based in reality. In courage. In integrity. A life where the person that you are, is the person that others know you to be. Where love and acceptance are real, not illusions.

 

Hello ForeverFree! I think that throughout all of these emotions you speak about (loneliness, sadness etc), it is important to realise that we all feel this way sometimes, even those people you think 'have it made' in life! But when these emotions become more of a problem, the way that you have discussed in your previous posts, the only thing that matters in life is do to whatever (and I mean whatever) it takes to change your habits and your way of living. Cold showers, reading, exercise, socialising, new hobbies and interests, whatever it takes! You are more than capable and have more advanced skill than these emotions and feelings - all it takes is YOU doing whatever you need to change YOU! I hope this helps, please keep me up to date with your progress. You are not alone! <3

 

If you relapse after a good streak, I think you just have to memory hole it and act as if you are still on that streak. Shut yourself down, and don’t look at anything tempting for as long as you can. By that time you should be on the right track.

 

Try this, problem sorted

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/a-simple-trick-to-block-porn-for-free.342511/

 

you're being too merciful(on yourself)and this mercy is cruelty and Evil. be violent to your-self. a cold shower,sleep in the floor, get cold,workout..do whatever it takes to stop yourself from PMO. If you dont become violent against the Self, youll be the victim of the violence of the World. i wish there was a middle ground for us...but there is none. in this fight,we strike as we can.