becoming a live-in slave

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by graham55, May 22, 2018.

  1. @graham55 Awesome man send me a message in the future about your life without PMO. I will do the same. My intention is to get to the city as well and move and achieve a free and awesome life. I will be the KING of GOOD ENGERGY and awesome relationships and awesome success.
     
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  2. determined1223

    determined1223 Fapstronaut

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    You will make it bro, determination is all you need. Was in the same ballpark when it comes to those fetishes, had accounts on some websites and talked to some dommes as well. Although i never did activities or cammed with them, only talked. I am at 200 days plus now. It is so worth it. You will feel alive man, connected with the world. Yes, the first few months will be difficult, but man after that you will feel so much better than the people around you and they will pick up on that. Your fetishes will also slowly dissapear. Go for it man.
     
  3. Mr.Chips

    Mr.Chips Fapstronaut

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    I am sorry mate if I am not following the thread, i read it twice in fact but long time ago. I have an idea and I think it can make a big jump for you. Why don't you abandon all those girls/clubs/whatever job or activity or work that is linked or can be a trigger to your real life femdom. If you can do this as a first step. Just forget everything and leave that job and change your mobile number, just change everything and return to your family as a social productive person. Yes it will be too much hard but prepare and do it at once, and make sure not to irretate or get fooled by your "lying mind," that you should go back to femdom stuff. After this get support. And start all over again amd you will much be proud about yourself. Do it man.. Just do it. And don't ever ever think about negative totally false thoughts about suicide or whatever. Sorry if this might not be related.
     
  4. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

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    I'm now living in the city, today i slipped up whilst checking an email and saw an old skype message pop up>led to texting dommes/videos/session. Lapsed. But it's ok "keep calm and carry on" i won't jeaporidse my 15 days of good work for 1 lapse. It's a bit shit, but i have to take it on the chin and move on. I live in the city now and have my life to live. Onwards and upwards
     
  5. @graham55 15 days is good.

    gtfo skype. uninstall it. Its a trigger. doing so will improve things moving forward. Skype is like the one thing you should avoid. get rid of your ability to see old skype messages. I'm feeling hella urges right now as well I understand.

    But 15 days is good. Watch out for the chasers or whatever you call it. try 30?
     
  6. Mike28

    Mike28 Fapstronaut

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    15 days is great man! Last time i did that many was in june. Congrats
     
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  7. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

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    Hope you've all been well, so far i've been good. Taking each day one day at a time, still trying to be active as possible and doing my daily gratitute/positivity tasks and journaling. I still have the fantasies in my head and now and then in real life i find myself fantasizing about femdom stuff. I try and fight it and i can hold it off, but i wish it would just go away for good and leave me alone. It's hard because something will trigger me and i can deal with it but i'm just trying to figure out how to loosen it's effect. Maybe it will come in time.
    Cheers
     
  8. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    Definitely will lessen with Time. Don’t give up too early.

    I had the same thing with pocd for about 2-3 months of my sobriety. I tried to fight it and it made it worse. My therapist reassured me that I’m not a creep, and that I’m normal. Then with her help, I started to be able to accept the thoughts that were coming up. And since I started accepting my thoughts as random and out of my control, and not defining who I am, the pocd has lessened and I have few thoughts about it. And the ones I do have don’t really bother me all that much.

    Overtime this will most likely happen to you. But it took me to be sober from all PMO as well.
     
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  9. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

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    Hope you've all been well, i've been doing the last few weeks, thoughts have been coming less and less, i've started to focus on other things till yesterday. I was out with friends when this old crazy (probably homeless) women approached us asking for money or beer. I strangely found myself attracted to her and when my friends left i spoke to her , telling her i'd want to pay her to be her slave, she freaked and walked away, but i don't know why i did it. Something about her triggered me and i reacted. I hadn't had any thoughts like this or anything over the last month, so maybe i will just treat it as something funny and brush it off. I've been strong for over 30 days now, but time will tell.
     
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  10. MasterRoshi

    MasterRoshi Fapstronaut

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    You been doing daily maintenance stuff still of meditation, journaling, helping others stay sober, therapy?
     
  11. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

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    Not as much or frequently,every and then but I've tried to distance myself from it all to try and help
     
  12. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

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    36 Days and i had just 2 lapses, so i'll restart my counter, after that interaction with the homeless lady, the following day whilst walking home i saw another doggy/homeless/vulnerable transgender person and went up asking how much to be your slave, luckily it just ended in a conversation and that was it but i then went to the equivalent of the "red light district" in my city and walked the streets at 2am looking for hookers who i could try and convert to be my femdom mistress, i spoke to a few trans, a few females but in the end i went to bed. Woke up this morning, started looking for female mistresses here and re-unblocked live in slave number, she unfortunately told me shes going away for 2 months and i should message her when she gets back. I then messaged all the other dom contacts, managed to call and have phone sex once then video sex once. Fuck man, i don't know what to say. Once that homeless woman triggered me it was like it re-ignited the engine in my mind that i had not been thinking about too much for weeks, and from there i tried so hard to resist it but the engine was already fired in my mind. I feel sad that i ruined my streak because a small part of me wants this lifestyle, it's no longer about the porn, but the truth is that its all fantasy. Porn induced fantasy that i want as a reality but the two don't meet.
     
  13. oneotwo

    oneotwo Fapstronaut

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    Dude, give you tip for life, dont judge anyone, onley who creat us
     
  14. Mr.Chips

    Mr.Chips Fapstronaut

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    It's ok mate, keep trying, you just got 30 days so now hit the four months, especially for femdom, 4 months are enough to show you difference. So don't give up. I think living in a different city can help you stop knocking the door that thing again and again. Change your routine (make it more social with family things and related stuff) i hope you get better. Just be sure that stopping all this is the right thing you are doing and you will never regret it. I wish you the best mate!
     
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  15. soberhenry

    soberhenry Fapstronaut

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    I Know what you mean. I think when we first really try to quit we just attempt to surpress all our desires and move on from them. This seems to work for a while but eventually they come back and the temptation to indulge is overwhelming. Sorry you lost your streak but staying motivated and finding success is more important in the long run. I think we also have to deal with our problem in some form and not just bury it away and hope it goes away. I think how we deal with it can vary from person to person but we still have to acknowledge our problem and accept that we have issues. Pretending we can can just live a normal life from this point onward is probably misguided.
     
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  16. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I feel for what you're going through man, I was in a similar situation a few years back.

    I tried to live out the porn fantasies, and I found much the same thing. They said they were going on holiday - that's usually code for not interested. When I got to the point that even BDSM women thought I was a bit over the top, I knew the way I was living was unhealthy, and ultimately, unsustainable!

    You may want to treat this latest relapse as an experience to be grateful for though. If you switch your perspective around. Because you're only going to outgrow this fantasy once you learn it's not realistic. Right now, you have to decide how many learning experiences are enough, it's your call.
     
    graham55 likes this.
  17. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    The crazy old homeless lady ran away from an offer that included money. You should consider this a clue. And some really good luck!

    I'm not actually trying to be an asshole (though some have told me that it just comes naturally for me :D ).

    Truly, stay away from all PMO - this will get better. Trying to be a live-in slave is something you most definitely do NOT want to succeed at.
     
    graham55 likes this.
  18. iWantToGoTheDistance

    iWantToGoTheDistance Fapstronaut

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    I am religous but I dont go into it too much on here nor do I want to bore people or annoy anyone however this is deep , you want to be a live slave .. basically want to worship the creation but not just any human ....a human who is a tyrant in her own right . She herself has transgressed the boundaries of Devine legislation. What is know as a taghoot in Arabic ( where by she is happy that you worship or be her slave for money) The devil can get someone, step by step , beginning with a fetish but ending in total submission where you want to throw yourself into destruction by associating partners with god but on an extreme level . If you become this slave do you realise the type of doors you are opening .


    In any case this addiction is consuming you and trust me you will loose this life and the next life the way your carrying on .

    Dont get me wrong , yes its tough , gosh ive done shameful things which haunt me up untill today. But try to recognise the fuckery's your going on with here . Please stop this,because religious or not your on the way to fucking everything up

    A very concerned British gent
     
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  19. graham55

    graham55 Fapstronaut

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    Day 0, lapsed again today, after messaging dommes about 24/7 live in slave situations, i didn't really watch any porn because that doesn't do it for me now. It's all about the skype sessions/ real life sessions now. So i was just messaging them first, then i got in touch with a few who were keen to meet, and in the end i masterbated to the idea of one of the mistresses who told me to come and meet her now bringing pot and a car, i ejaculated before i even left my house. Sigh.
     

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