becoming a live-in slave

There is nothing appealing about it. It's a sickness in your mind, IMO. Take a look around you and observe any couple that involves a dominating woman. It's awful and is really similar to the whole slave thing anyways, lol.

 

@graham55 - you really really REALLY need to listen to Aiden5!!!!!

DON'T DO THIS! !!!

 

Sometimes your mind tries to convince you that this is the way you can live, that is related to these fantasies, to be a slave, and it will try to convince you that you will enjoy. It will be sometimes confusing (while rejection) wether to continue nofap or go back to the fake paradise that our fantasies created. But you will figure now or later, you will realize by yourself again as you did the very moment you created this thread and felt you want to end this pain no matter what.
You need to know that going toward the path of fantasies (femdom in this state) is not going to give you the pleasure you want. It is a pure lie.
You should know that the only way to treat this is Nofap, sobierty. Be away from Masturbation, porn, sexting, role playing, cams, triggering articles or Any thing that will create urges for you.
And you should believe that it is possible to stop it but it needs time. It needs effort. Although such threads are minor but there are successful members who passed this and now they are PMO free. They had same fantasies and maybe extra ones.
So you should just give a direct action. Remove all these numbers. Remove all the emails. Web pages.set blockers. Set keyword blockers. And change your routine. It is fine you might relapse multiple times but be sure that you will eliminate the high risk that you may enter again and maybe no coming back. Just start again and don't listen to them. I know it can be controlling sometimes.. So stop it before it stops you from stopping it

You are not alone in this.

 

I still find it appealing, not the abusive stuff, but the general female dominance aspect. Who knows how much of this is porn related? I started PMO before I was a teen, and I think it won't be until a long time without porn that I might get to think about this issue properly without pre-conceived ideas attached.

I keep watching red pill videos lol, talking about how most women want to manipulate their partner etc. This half puts me off relationships, and half interests me because of the dominance 'fetish'.

Hope I don't go off topic here - it's just you made me think that I probably won't get a healthy perspective on this until I have a year+ away from any porn.

 

I remember there is some guy who put an article about his success in stopping femdom from his life. It took him four months as he says. And he is free now.

 

I used to be obsessed with fin dommes. I would intellectualize it in all sorts of ways but the reality was simply that mentally I was in a bad place. I wasted a shed load of money on them and destroyed a relationship because of it.

I have moved away from fin dommes now. I haven't paid one since 2010. I have other issues but I am working on those too. My point is, you can overcome this obsession. If necessary you get someone you trust to manage your finances, your internet access, whatever. But you can do it.

PM me if you wish.

 

Similar here, while I still have issues with porn, I haven't fed the 'bad wolf' of paid dommes in over a year.

Sometimes if I have extra money, I'll get the urge to find one. But I stop, and think my way out of this now. Why see a domme when porn is free? But why watch porn if that's what I'm trying to change in my life? Then I come back to square one and spend the money on something else lol.

 

While this year, did you get high streaks? Or it was just random PMO which kept femdom fantasies with you?

 

Yeah high by my standards lol, got to about 50 days no PMO twice.

But my views have got a lot better. I basically used to think I was worthless and all women were goddesses I would be lucky to be friends with...

I still find respectful domination interesting (going either way), but I don't focus on it all the time, or think it makes either them or me worth less as a person.​

 

It's good that such freak fantasies go away. But won't the fetish itself go away?!!

 

A lot of people that have gone a year or longer without porn, say the only fetishes that remain are the ones they would normally find attractive anyways.

Without going into detail, I can tell you my weird fetish list has gone down dramatically, you could even call it tame compared to BDSM in general. But I do look forward to how I will feel after a proper abstinence period!

 

So true! The more porn you watch, the more we take in. It's like a stomach, eating more and it will only expand and demand more. So yes, we both, we all need to reverse this.

 

Yeah i know that can haooen to fetishes that are since very childhood (maybe born with us) but the ones we gain.. I hope not

 

I just finished reading this entire journal. At first, I didn't think you would reach where you are today because you were so far gone. At one point you were so far gone that you almost didn't exist in this world anymore. I have to say that I'm really impressed by your progress so far, your record of 36 days! My record was 14 days of no O (but my current goal is no PM - which is 41 day record). So, I'm very impressed you got as far as you did, and I'm hopeful that you can finish your 3-5mo goal/challenge. I really hope to see you at the finish line, keep up the great work! It's ok if you lapsed/relapsed, everyone falls down/fails, it's what you do after that and what you learn from your mistakes that matter most. Anyone who has been successful in anything has also failed along the way. I think something you could learn and what many others have mentioned, is to erase Facebook/Skype and anything else that can get you to relapse. Erase the Domme numbers permanently so that you cannot give into temptation.

Good luck, looking forward to your next update!

 

Mate.... Your story resonates with me.

I have similar fetishes to you. I'm 36. I had some very very dark days been 18 - 28 but I'll tell you a secret.

Time heals. You will learn through experiences. The tomorrows you will be much wiser.

I can't shake my fetishes, but you can learn to control it. You can live a happy life.

Take care of your self. Your health, your family, your job. Strive to achieve and make something of your self.

Your kinks well you will find a nice lady, a wife perhaps eventually who you can worship. In a more vanilla way.

But don't spend your hard earned cash on visiting Mistress or watching cam sessions etc... this is just exploitation.

 

Some useful realisations in the thread