Acceptable Restrictions?

So continuing to have the brain add these chemicals into something that is an addicted quality is sexual compulsion is the choices that everyone here seems to say it's okay? You wouldn't give somebody a beer if there and I'll call it you wouldn't let someone have a little bit of heroin if they're heroin addict so pure abstinence is really the only way to do it here to clean the brain use some neuroplasticity create some new habits you can still have appreciation for the naked body that's part of being a human what we're talking about is removing sex from the table in a relationship 100% you also find out the value of Who You Are and what's your spouse is to you without sex. So it's relational it's psychologically hard it's physiologically hard but you are resetting the chemical imbalance which you created for yourself and your spouse should go along with it if she loves you she would mine it mine has and I think that's really sad here that one person is not willing to give up something for somebody else to make them help them get through something so the whole thing and having sex and trying to break a sexual addiction I say bulshit it's a way for you to have your cake and eat it too

 

I locked all of my devices down myself and have an accountability partner. Sometimes my wife is annoyed that there is no browser on my iPhone and she has to look something up when we're on the road. She would rather I not have a locked down device (or need a locked down device I guess). But I'm fine with that. The decision to not have a browser is mine and I made it for my recovery.

I also respond more positively to taking my own initiative than I would to a spouse who "mothered" me. But then, don't want to be "mothered" by your spouse, then stop acting like a child, right? It's called re-parenting oneself, it's part of the healing process in ACoA.

Addicts have mixed beliefs about locked down devices and that's fine because different addicts need different tools of recovery. I know I need it. I cannot survive the "offer/refusal" environment for very long. Even after all of these years of recovery. Maybe that will change someday, I don't know. But until then, locked down devices for me.

Peace,
-Quinn

 

@spouseshmouse: so this IS possible.

@TheMightyQuinn: how easy / hard is it to remove a web browser from an iPhone? (I'm an Android guy)

 

That's a question for @SuperFan

 

@TryingHard2Change,

Super easy, you enable restrictions in the settings with your AP present, your AP enters a 4 digit code (which they must remember!) and then turn off Safari and "Installing Apps".

What's affected:
- you won't be able to update apps on your phone without your AP present
- any apple app that links to Safari won't work (that part, the rest of the app is fine). Even installing a covenant eyes browser doesn't work. There may be a way to make covenant eyes the default browser but I never tried. I don't bother having any browser app.

Peace,
-Quinn

 

Restrictions are like fences. They are all ultimately surmountable. The purpose is to slow you down enough to get your senses back. They are a first line of defense.

Restrictions alone do not a recovery make. There is always a way to circumvent them. You may have to write your own code running in a cloud instance to act as a custom proxy to do it, but it can be done. (Who me? )

Actually, I never took it _that_ far, but I do have the skills and am well aware of the limitations of restrictions, especially for someone like me who is:
- very tech savvy
- never met a problem I did not want to solve
- a strong willed addict

Peace,
-Quinn