'6 Things My Husband Did to Help Me Heal' video

This was good. One other thing I got out of this was she said "after several years my heart was healed".
Thank you for sharing this.

 

Great video, the recovery process doesnt necessarily start after Dday, I think there is a period needed to process the elements.

 

I'm new to the forums, and I'm new to recovery, but full disclosure: I've kept the full extent of my addiction secret from my wife of 11 years for over 18 years (when we first met), so I expect harsh judgment.

My marriage isn't in crisis, although we've grown more distant over the years, and not only because of my addiction. The thing is, honesty in my situation will cause more harm than good. It will be a self-generated rock bottom moment. It will cause hurt and destruction on a scale that in my mind would be impossible to overcome. I know my wife loves me, but I don't believe she would have the capacity to forgive me, and honesty means our marriage would be over or at best intolerable. So where does that leave me? Am I truly in an impossible situation that can't be overcome? If my choices are to be honest and generate unimaginable pain and destruction or to stay silent and continue in my addiction to delay the inevitable pain and destruction, that's truly between a rock and a hard place. But what if there were a 3rd option? What if recovery is possible without hurting the ones that I love?

I acknowledge this may not be the appropriate thread for my questions, but I watched the video, and not every wife is like the speaker. Not every wife loves her husband enough to work through the betrayal. I have no idea if mine is, and my self-hatred feeds the belief that she isn't, but I refuse to believe that recovery is only possible through honesty.

 

Per the suggestion of @GhostWriter, I started a new thread here: Recovery and Honesty

 

This one was a hard one for me . Watching it , 565 days of him no PMO , he has only done 1 and 5 . Watching this pushes me in the direction of “ if these things haven’t happened yet , they most likely never will “ really really hard place for me to be in because I DO have such live for him