I've been porn free for getting close to a month, going to be posting in the success story thread here soon. While I feel better mentally, emotionally, and physically, I have been having issues with finishing too soon lately. My wife is very understanding about and doesn't mind because I always make sure she gets hers in one way or another but I would like to last significantly longer. Been doing kegels for a few weeks and haven't noticed any improvements. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.
I have similar case and i dont know what to do, they said its mentally but idk man i feel stressed out
It is stressful, especially since it seems to happen more often the more you think about it. The start stop works but it kind of ruins the moment if you're like me and have to stop every 20 seconds.
Yes exactly man its ruin moment For me its even worse , i even ejaculate when my pants still on,, im really scared I just cant understand im past thay 90days of nofap even beyond but why did this happen to me
One thing I've read that causes it is your nerves. Something about trying to switch from porn based stimulation to in person activates your flight or fight response instead of the normal excitement like its supposed too. I've recently started doing yoga and meditations to try and relax myself mind and body, too soon to tell if its helping though.
We have similiar case, and i cant even find the answer in this forum, so why dont we try to solve it I will try something too If one of us have improvement, we share here , what do u think?
Sounds great to me, lord knows I could use someone to work with on this. Got anything on mind for what you will try?
Because this is a mind games, i tried to fasting from instagram and youtube short And i think i will try to use cold water to wash my face and hair before perform (not like a wet cat, just wash and dry it) And i will do that before the penetrstion phase too, if the first one did make any difference
I used the cold water and some breathing technique and its works man,, even tho its just + 2mins its still some imrpovement
I perform wudu (islamic way of clean, like washing face etc with cold water ) before we do it Take time on 4play take a really long time on it, its not always a stimuli , u can flirt, make fun etc,, everytime my brain is too high i coold it down by breathing slowly with nose not with mouth When the times comes to penetrat, breath slowly and think in my brain that is not a pene , its just like having a boner when using a jeans, itd not Sx so calmed down myself And it happens my plus 2 minutes
There was a guy who used to be on this forum about a year ago, his name was Modern Milarepa. You can search for him, but his account was banned. But he said he would have sex without ejaculating, and that he could have sex no condom, and last for an hour or more. He had a 500+ day streak. Here is one of his posts. Idk if it can help either one of you, but he had a different perspective on sex, which may help either one of you https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/431-days-no-pmo-semen-retention-while-having-sex.312721/
I list several different things you can try in this thread in 3 different replies: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/has-anyone-cured-pe.341037/
I haven’t had sex in a while, but in the past, for me, yes. Especially if I didn’t put any wetness inside the condom, like just dryness. Then one time I didn’t feel anything at all, like I was just numb, because I only felt the condom which was rubbery texture
Swinging in without reading anything else except the last post, here goes. First you have to check in with that wife. We have the perception from porn that women want to have sex "for hours," and that isn't true. Make sure it's not your insecurities informed by bad media that's the problem, not your "stamina." But I relate. Addicted, you have DE and off it you have PE, it's stupid. My wife is a pelvic floor therapist. I asked her about it, and she said the only thing is acclimation therapy. That is, real sex with your wife, more than once a week. Take your time, communicate, don't stress too much about it. Enjoy it for what it is supposed to be; intimate connection between pair bonded partners. Again, porn gives us the wrong impression, making it seem like sex is about passion, athleticism, prolonged ecstasy. We easily forget those are actors, acting. Real sex is about relationship. When you quiet performance anxiety, both of you can enjoy one another better. And last, there seemed to be a reference to non-ejaculatory sex, or karezza. It's a thing, it's real, but it's achieved roughly the same way my wife described; exposure therapy. You can look it up on your own, but proponents swear by the practice (though they can get a little weird, imo). They recommend a lot of cuddling, a lot of eye contact, definitely don't try any motion for a long time, don't even try penetration if that's an issue. Again, take the focus off "we're doing this thing with our genitals" and place it on bonding, you can gradually move up to more stimulating stuff and be cool with it. But seriously,. check in with your wife before trying any of this stuff and respect her position. It's a joint decision.
I appreciate what you're saying and I fully agree with it too, porn has made the entire human sexual experience be boiled down to just penetration and marathon fucking. However, in my case anyway, we are talking about the urge to bust coming on practically immediately after penetration. I have spoken with her about it and she has said that she wouldn't mind if I lasted longer. Thank you for bringing up the importance of keeping your partner included though, too many of us forget to do that
I don't think porn is the only cause of "the human sexual experience being about penetration and marathon f***ing" I bet hundreds of years ago, and thousands of years ago, there was still an ego thing about having sex for a long time and being a "powerful man"