Why You Need To Stop Chasing Girls Right Now

Preach brotha.

I've definitely been there. Chasing girls has been a hobby at times. I got a fair number of girls but I spent an inordinate amount of time going out, on dating sites, messaging girls, setting up dates, etc.

As OP said, the only thing people will remember us for when we die is our work and the impact we had.

It's so true: women are drawn to men of passion and purpose. That purpose has to be something bigger than ourselves. Something that will improve the lives of others.

This quote is ironically from the most famous book about "pickup", The Game by Neil Strauss:

"The best way to pick up girls is to have something better to do than pick up girls."

Even the author realized this in the end.

 

my last post in my journal was about ending the chase with my ex today, I would rather be single and happy then have games played with me. focus on myself for awhile.

 

This is one of the best posts I’ve read all day on this forum Lordram, thank you. I for sure know and can relate to your frustrations.

I have a seriously high sex drive, and part of the problem with me was that I always felt women were going to fill the void that porn/masturbation was giving me. I viewed them as sex objects instead of people. I had no problem getting women to go out on dates with me, but sealing the deal was always the difficult part. I’d become extremely horny and start to show my true “neediness” (basically chasing them) when I became inpatient and wanted instant gratification - by this I mean sex. Eventually, it’d be what steered them away from any real authentic relationships with me.

You’ve motivated me once again to start to discover and take time to develop myself, while diminishing the negative self thoughts brought on by my interactions with women. The biggest struggle for me is cognitively recognizing this negativity attachment and finally finding something that gives me a purpose.

I was a former athlete in college and I dedicated over 17 years of my life to baseball, once it ended I haven’t been the same. I don’t know what I can do, I haven’t found a true calling other than going back to graduate school to get a degree as a physical therapist. If you have any suggestions on how to find a purpose/hobby please let me know