Why You Need To Stop Chasing Girls Right Now

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by lordram17, Oct 11, 2016.

  1. PotentLife

    PotentLife Fapstronaut

    A lot of pickup instructors teach this independence as part of their "inner game" instructions, to help guys be more natural in attracting women.
     
  2. Porn Free Wanderer

    Porn Free Wanderer Fapstronaut

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    I read a quote somewhere that sums all this up perfectly. "Show me a beautiful woman, and I'll show you a man who's tired of fucking her".

    Think about it.
     
  3. Calculas

    Calculas Guest

    Great man.
    Sab engineers bhi nalle ho gye h kya bhai?
     
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  4. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    The Truth .
     
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  5. This is a great post! In my country there is the traditional ideal of "girl hunter" that makes you a real man.
    But i have always known that this is a stupid idea!
    In fact i have had experience (as the same for my friends) that, when you don't chase girls...they come to you and you will have a girlfriend "easily"!

    So much respect, man!
     
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  6. silenteagle

    silenteagle Fapstronaut

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  7. ori713

    ori713 Fapstronaut

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    I have always had a problem with pushing girls away, actually. I've worked as long as I've been able, and I have passions, but I mostly keep them to myself. Sharing my passions has never been something I was good at. It was only recently that I realized that there were several girls in high school who were dying for me to ask them out. I was always too dense or selfish to care, and too addicted to porn to feel any need for relationships. So don't chase after girls, yes, but don't push the nice girls away either.
     
  8. SilentJay313

    SilentJay313 Fapstronaut

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    For me this is a good idea. I haven't chased after many girls, but when I did i was only harshly rejected. There were a few desperate ones that were chasing after me, but they only wanted sex and children. I only known 2 girls outside of my family, only being close to one of them. Her name was Cindy, and she was the sweetest girl i ever met. She lived near me for a couple of years before going back to South Korea, but we kept in touch with each other during high school.

    She was the only female friend i had around the time. It felt like we were very close to each other and that I could tell her anything. She never made me feel uncomfortable when I we were around each other. It got to the point where I noticed that I had deep feelings for her. I got to see her once again in my senior year in high school. I told her how I felt about her, and she said that she felt the same way. But unfortunately she was leaving to go to college in Arizona. So we couldn't be together. This left me feeling depressed for a while, especially since I haven't heard back from her since she left.

    I haven't met anyone like her since then, and i doubt I'll ever will. Of course I do hate that people in my family tell me i should be swimming in women. Sure i do play guitar and i am a artist, but this never once attracted a female towards me. But I just need to forget her and forget about women for a while to straighten myself out before I attempt to look for a girlfriend again. I just don't want to make a mistake like before and wait until it's too late to say how i feel about someone.
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2017
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  9. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    This is a great thread. Over time, I have been drilling myself and getting into the habit of NOT chasing girls. It's a real turn off for them and reeks of desperation. Especially when you're needy and (a bit) full on.

    I'm more focused on chasing life goals, improving me and my life. I've learnt to love me more and enjoy my own company. The things that really matter. I should never depend on someone else for my own happiness.

    Don't get me wrong, I'd be happy to have a girlfriend or a wife. A relationship is not high on the list of my priorities. Having a wife or girlfriend is not important right now and is not the be all and end all. For some time, I've been reinforcing these thoughts and beliefs into myself.

    The social stigma that comes with being single reinforces thoughts into peoples' minds that they should have someone. Some people stay in a relationship -- no matter how unhappy they are -- because of the fear of being on their own. I don't understand this, and can never get my head round this.

    Why stay with someone if they're making you more unhappy and not making a positive impact on you or your life?
    Wouldn't you rather be happy on your own than be miserable in a relationship with someone because you're scared of being lonely?


    I only tend to talk to women if they approach me or talk to me. I've restricted myself in talking as much to them. More so when they're not as receptive, and it's not worth making the effort if they don't engage in conversation because they're simply not interested in me. Getting into the habit of not talking about myself to them too unless they ask me questions. I don't know if it's a placebo effect, but I get the impression and feel that more women are attracted to me once I've took this approach by not chasing them anymore.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2017
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  10. Jynx

    Jynx Fapstronaut

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    PREACH PREACH PREACH.
    DAMN bro i feel you connected...
    Wish you do more on these talks.
    Thankyou for this.
    Hope you will win over this.
     
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  11. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    Thanks for sharing. I really liked this one.
     
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  12. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I see what your saying it's time to love ourselves because we have been neglecting ourselves under pmo mask I do want a girlfriend and wife and family but attachment and desiring has led me to pmo so I'm still learning how to be detached from outcomes and desires and just enjoying my journey and being humble and thanking god for getting me out of the darkness
     

  13. You may have just helped me open my eyes to a very real thing, my friend.

    God bless you, and may the Fap never be with you.
     
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  14. Thank you so much man for your truthful & encouraging words which literally given something to reflect on !! I also realized this after 7 years that went by when I was in college.. It really is an eye opener!! Goodluck on your journey brother!!
     
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  15. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    Son goku you must now learn how to train yourself to react and fight without thinking it's now time to learn ultra instinct lol
     
  16. Haha thanks Hit !! Your time skip inspired me to try to learn the ultra instinct when we were fighting for our universes ;) Anyways, yeah you're right !! Goku, Vegeta, the rest of the saiyans, Hit etc all aim to improve themselves so they can be better fighters!! Its something that we can learn from them!! :) Thanks man !! I definitely need to get into a proper routine with exercise & proper diet !!
     
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  17. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    No problem bro you can do it push your limits and you will break then
     
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  18. Thanks bro !! I wish I could like your posts but sorry bro I'm out of likes man.. Anyways goodluck for your journey !! & Once again thank you for your encouraging words!! Keep inspiring & keep going!!
     
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  19. lordram17

    lordram17 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you to everyone who have taken time out to read my post and feel some extra positivity in their life as a result. Your positivity fuels my positivity in return :)
     
  20. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Acting out of desperation and needing specific outcomes to happen isn't the way... but neither is not trying and not caring so that they might approach you first or whatever bullshit trick people are teaching these days.

    I express my desires fully without needing any outcome to happen.

    Grow up and accept that you can't own or control other people or anything external in reality. All you can do is your best by meeting others halfway and give them the freedom to choose whether or not to meet you there. Maturely and honestly express your desires. The rest is up to them.

    Being outcome dependent and acting out of fear tends to show up in your behavior. People pick up on that. Holding back your desires and acting like you don't care comes off like you're boring and lifeless.

    You want to be able to express yourself freely without fear. As much engagement in terms of your desires as possible, but also the least attached that you can be. Want without need. Act, but not out of desperation. That's the place in your life that you want to get to.

    To get to that point takes a lot of life experience and hard work though. You basically do your best and fail a lot. The mistake a lot of people make along the way is that they try to stop caring as much so that they don't get hurt as much. Care a lot, just about the right things. Accept that not everything works out in terms of external people and outcomes, but care about doing the actions that make you proud of yourself despite the outcome.
     
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