What men need to know about choosing a woman.

This is brilliant, man.

I find myself slightly conflicted, though.

One thing I have come to learn about soul mates is that nobody can choose their soul mate. Our soul mates were already meant to be before our incarnation on this earth... Therefore, even though I might be in quite a high vibration spiritually, my soul mate could have a lot of darkness and baggage. Does that make sense?

So, say you and your wife are soul mates. You both have great energy and are conscious. It is highly unlikely that this will be the case for every soul mate couple. Just because of the fact that everyone has their own past experiences, some darker than others, childhood baggage etc...

So, I have some fears that my soul mate may have all this baggage. It's hard to explain what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is, what happens if I feel like I've met my soul mate, but she's on a very low vibration?

I'd love to be able to meet someone on my exact vibration, but I don't know if my soul mate will be... Does that make sense?

 

That sounds like a possible consequence of reading philosophers like Nietzsche would be dictatorship, war and mass murder. Nonsense! Nietzsche's philosophy was used by the Nazis (thanks to his sister who even forged him), but not needed. Hitler probably never read Nietzsche!

The Nazis didn't decide that genocide was the right thing to do because any philosophy told them that ethics are relative. They believed in their own ideologies: anti-Semitism, Social Darwinism, racial fanatism and militarism (and they mixed occultism in it). So they had no use for ethics. They killed who was in their way and whom they thought to be "not worth living".
Please don't blame philosophy!

Thank you!
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Having said all that, I can now read the whole thread and see what's actually the topic

 

Thanks.

Yes, one of my greatest finds of this recent year has been about expectations in relationships. My spiritual teacher has taught me all about that. He is the one who told me about souls and how every single human being is only half a soul, and their soul mate is their other half (of course, you can disagree with this if you want. No hard feelings). However, when he explains it all in depth and the reasons behind it all, it makes perfect sense.

He says that there is only one soul mate for each person. He talks a lot about emotional addictions in relationships as well, that I find mind blowing still the same. He mentions things that you wouldn't even think are addictions.

I've learned from him that everything is balanced correctly and that God created perfect laws to govern the universe (of course, I'm not talking about God from the Christian perspective here). God didn't make anything random and there is no confusion. I'm saying this not in a way that you too have to believe what I'm saying, but I'm just expressing what I have learned myself. I cannot find any holes in what he explains concerning the universe.

He says that a soul mate relationship is the strongest attraction in the universe and he also says that most people don't meet their soul mate because of the emotional injuries we carry which repels the two soul halves from meeting. For example, injuries towards the opposite gender is the number one way to keep yourself from not meeting your soul mate. And of course, same gender issues if you're gay (God created homosexual souls as well as heterosexual, both for variety in the universe).

Most people are with someone who isn't their soul mate. A lot of people get into relationships out of emotional addiction, wanting the person to fill a void within them. A lot of people do not actually meet their soul mate until they get to the spirit world, unfortunately, as it's easier to locate them once the body of flesh has passed away and we are only spirit/soul.

I had a strange inclination a few months ago that I wouldn't meet my soul mate until another 3 years...

 

With joy!

So, I'll try to go in depth as much as possible, without being too long winded about things.

So an example... Most people today wind up in relationships because the other person is meeting one of their emotional addictions. You might not even realise that they are meeting your addiction, but what the person might realise is that once the certain addictions are confronted in the relationship, either party may instantly want out of the relationship. This is usually what happens, unfortunately.

So, a typical one, is where a guy might get together with a girl and form a relationship with her, based on the fact that he always listens to and panders to her, and a lot of the time guys do this unknowingly. The female may have an emotion inside of her that she needs a male to listen to her.

Whatever causes anger, is how you can tell there is an addiction in play.

So, what happens when the dude is tired, has maybe had a long day and isn't listening to his woman rambling on? She gets angry and accuses him of not giving her attention. By the way, this could be either gender. Some men have this same addiction too. I'm just giving a quick example here.
At the end of the day, everything is about free will. The hard reality is, is that every single person has absolute free will to do what they want. Nobody has to do anything for us. He doesn't have to listen if he doesn't want to. Even if he wasn't tired, he still doesn't have to listen. This is all linked to expectations and demands in relationships. It's all the same thing. Addictions and expectations in relationships.

So, the addiction here is that the woman may have an addiction to being listened to. Any time we are angry, it is because an addiction is not being met. Anger is an unloving emotion when it is projected at another human being.

It's the same as well if the man has an expectation that his woman should cook for him when he gets back from work. It's unloving if he expects a meal to be ready for him, and it's unloving of him if he projects anger concerning this. Again, this would be another example of an addiction.

Love is ONLY a gift, nothing else. It is not a demand or an expectation. These ARE the main reasons why some couples have constant arguments. They ALL revolve around an addiction not being met somewhere. A hug should be a hug to give love, not because you are demanding it, or using it as a way to fill a void inside of ourselves. Some people can use things like hugs as a means of some type of manipulation. The more you grow and own your own emotions and feel your emotions, the more you can feel when something from someone else is done in addiction. So what happens if I say no to your hug? You see, I should be allowed to. If you get angry or annoyed for rejecting your hug, there's an addiction. It means the hug wasn't genuine, because hugs should be about giving love, not what you can get from it. The person would need to deal with the emotion as to why they feel a hug will make them feel good, and why they feel they need to rely on someone else.

Most people would say, oh, but hugs are normal, they are loving, it feels great. No, there's an emotion that needs to be dealt with, because how would you feel if they rejected your hug?

Whenever we feel angry or annoyed. The key is to allow ourselves to go into the emotion (in private) without projecting it onto our partner. This is what emotional processing is. It was my teacher who also taught me about emotional processing. It has changed my life.

All frustration, and even the slight feeling of annoyance or irritation are ALL anger based emotions. Anger is not just someone projecting their voice loudly. Anger has many subtle forms.

Of course, we can talk to our partners about our feelings, but we have to understand that they do not create our anger. We cannot rely on them to fix our own deep, buried issues. Because then, it just becomes another addiction and the same cycle will continue. We have to take complete responsibility for our own emotions.

It is okay to grieve in private about not being listened to. All of these emotions stem from childhood. The pain of not being listened to, or the stance that I feel others have to do things for me (the example about being cooked for and the demand for it). We are supposed to express our emotions like children do, freely, but without projecting our negative emotions onto others. So if it means that we need to cry, then we need to let ourselves do that. We need to release our emotions in private and deal with our shit. We need to buy punching bags if we need to.

Anything that expresses a demand or expectation on someone else is unloving, because at the end of the day, every single person has free will. We can't change another persons soul. We can only work on our own emotions. Our partner does not create these unloving emotions inside of us. We have to understand that these issues are ours and have been there lodged in us since childhood.

Your partner even has the free will to cheat on you. That's the power of free will. Obviously, it's best to use our free will in a loving way, but you cannot have expectations that your partner has to do this or that. They have God given free will that we cannot take from them. All we can do is love them. True love is a gift alone and has no demands of another.

What I've said here will shake and challenge some people, but that's good. My teacher says that "Anger is your guide". Anger shows us our emotional addictions. We've absorbed so much bull shit from society about what love is. Most people are in co-dependent relationships and they think it's love, but it just addiction. People will be surprised when they start to confront the addictions in their relationships. It really changes the game.

Our partners do not have to do anything for us. Once two people are whole and they have no addictions, the relationship will be perfect, because it will ONLY be based on giving love, not demanding it.

Obviously, the more addictions in a relationship, the more pain and arguments there will be.

What I said about anger, concerning addiction, is also the same when we feel pain. Because, at the end of the day, people have total free will to be horrible to me. If I feel pain about that, there's another addiction. The addiction is that you want that person to do what you want. Be nice to you. You want to control the persons free will.
We have many addictions to being liked by people and treated well. But what happens when someone spits on us in the street for no reason? Is our love towards others based on their good treatment towards us, or will I still love them even when they use their free will in an unloving manner? Love should be completely unconditional. It doesn't matter what they do. Love is love. It's a gift, and it's not dependent on how someone else treats me. But, of course, we have to grow in love. It doesn't just happen over night.

All of what I just said there applies in relationships as well, but many fail to see this.

Now, it doesn't at all mean one would have to stay in an unloving, abusive relationship. If your partner continued to exercise their free will to harm you, then you'd need to take a break and let them know that until they work on their issues, the relationship cannot continue. I'm not at all saying that we need to tolerate unloving behaviour.

Everyday I am working through any emotional addictions I have. When I started to learn about this, I was honestly mind blown.

 

Yep, it's funny that you mention this, because my teacher talks a lot about children as well and how we should actually be learning from them. He says the exact same thing you have just said about how children actually have the right idea about expressing emotions freely. It is adults who suppress and shut down children's emotions.

And what you said about unconditional love couldn't be more true. Most of the idea of "love" we grew up with was a complete joke and was completely conditional almost all the time. I'm now 27, and even still I have seen how my mothers love at times is SO conditional.

The hard truth, is that most people throughout their lives have never actually been genuinely loved. Unfortunately, today, it is very rare indeed to come across pure, unconditional love.

 

I never got to choose a woman but my first partner and I we felt like soulmates.
In my current relationship the difficulties are much higher. It feels like love sometimes but I'm not sure what will come and if we'll stay together for a long time.

So what about the improvement of the relationship? I mean when it's a mess in the beginning it still has all potential to grow and prosper in the future, when both are willing to go this way, hasn't it?
A dream couple can come to an dead too, from where they can start anew or pack in.
Every couple has its issues, thats for sure. But how do you know you are stuck with the wrong person? Maybe there must be a fire that never goes out but sometimes glow, sometimes blazes. To be honest, I like this metaphor but it doesn't help me at all

An old couple were asked why their marriage has last for so long. They answered: Because in our times we used to repair things.

 

I explained this all in my lengthy post above, bro. I answered your questions

Also, AJ talks about soul mates in length. It's more than worth checking his talk on soul mates.

 

Yes, very true about how children see people. Children engage their soul, not their intellect, and that is why they do not look at the physical appearance of a person, which is what you expressed, in regards to how they do not view you as 32 years old. They see your soul, they feel you. They can feel your interest in their well being.

I can tell you the solution to outputting more love (was that what you wanted the suggestion on?) But it might challenge you or anyone else reading this. The missing link is God. As I said, I'm not religious, or a Christian, or anything else, but it is God's Divine Love which transforms the soul and allows for a larger output of love towards yourself and towards others. One of the only ways to proving that God exists is to receive some of her Divine Love and have it enter your heart. I've had this experience in small doses. I've received some, but there is still a long way to go. The more addictions we deal with, the more God's love can enter us.

To pray, means to long for God, not through words, but through a sincere longing for God through our emotions.

As for time, it is true that there is none. But we live in a cursed system (world), which created time. They invented clocks. We can actually remove ourselves from the system, therefore, removing ourselves from the concept of time, but most people find it challenging to completely leave the system.

Most people have emotional injuries to the concept of God, and to be frank, most of these injuries come from the concept of Christianity. It is the emotional injuries which blocks people from receiving any of God's Divine love to begin with. There is no place in the universe where people burn for eternity (as I'm sure you already know).
I could right now, lay down all the misconceptions of God. Humans have boxed God and created their own rules about him. This is now why we have atheists, because of all the bull shit that has been created surrounding God and all the crap that certain religions have created, especially surrounding things such as homosexuality and hell. God actually created gay souls, for the actual purpose of being gay for variety in the universe.

In the universe right now, there is what is called Natural Love and then there is Divine Love.
Natural love comes from within our own heart, from the self. Divine love is God's love, the most powerful love in the universe, of course.

Natural love can go far, but only so far. It has an end, and this is seen clearer in the spirit world. Natural love can only reach as far as the 6th sphere in the spirit world. A 6th sphere condition in love is what the first human couple were created in. It is a state where they were able to grow their own food with their thoughts, a state where the animals around them didn't have any desire to attack them etc... It's a state of bliss, basically.

Most people on the earth are in either a 1st or second 2nd sphere of love. It is very rare to find anyone on the earth in a 3rd sphere condition. You can only progress your soul to 7th sphere and beyond with God's divine love. The 6th sphere is where natural love ends.

Oh, and about law of attraction. This is an incredibly interesting topic. Most here on earth are taught that the law of attraction is to do with the mind, but this is going to be another challenging thing to digest. The truth is, law of attraction is about the soul.

The soul is the antenna for our being. The soul is where our emotional injuries and beliefs about things are. Whatever is in our soul is what we attract.
This is why many people may chant and think positive thoughts about money (for example), but this almost never works. Why? Because the individual still has emotional injuries about money. It has not been dealt with at the soul level. You see, the universe runs perfectly and grants to people whatever, based on their soul condition. That's where the real work begins. Anyone can use their brain to think, but it takes honour and courage to really heal at the soul level.

I guess I'd have to talk about law of attraction separately. If you've got any questions about law of attraction, I can say more, because there is so much to say about it.

 

You're right, bro. That's me and my girlfriend

I also agree that love should be unconditional. Love has reasons. But not conditions. I won't love an unknown person who spits at me for no reason. Maybe some can - I can't. To not hate this person is the best I can do.

I would be happy to also share a true commitment with someone, but not before unconditional love is exchanged and the life together works out well. First love, then trust and from both sprouts commitment. That's my ideal.
A parent has entered into a commitment with the birth of the child, of course.

And I have made myself quite dependant from my gf. So I will find new independance first, then I will see about the future.

 

It's possible

It depends on how much we are willing to progress in love.

 

Yep, that's it. You can even test it for yourself, my friend. Ask God her Her Divine Love. Ask sincerely, with an open mind and open heart and see what happens for you.

 

Hey! I'm enjoying this thread a lot. But I've this concern with your recommendation. Why should I belive in god in the first place? Why should I ask for her love if I've found no signs of her existence? It would be like asking Santa for presents, even though I know he probably is a fictional character. Have you taken god for a given all your life? Or did you find sound evidence of her later on?

 

I've felt God for a long time.

Ask for God's divine love, with a sincere open heart. Try it.

For me, it has always been pretty obvious that there is a God. Look at how incredible the universe is. There is too much depth to it to come to a conclusion that all things were just blown into existence at random. There is a designer.

Look at how your organs function perfectly, or the instincts of animals. Everything is too intricate. I do not need this "proof" that the everyday common man desires.