What men need to know about choosing a woman.

I accidentally discovered an incredible secret that seems obvious once you know about it. I was very lucky to stumble on this concept and it was only possible due to sheer luck.

It all started when I was 12 years old and I was being picked on by my neighbor. My mom decided to put me in a Kung Fu class. In this class I leaned a lot about the body including meditation and I became obsessed with self mastery. At this point I starting doing a lot of the stuff that the Fapstronauts are doing now but this was before I even had a chance to see porn. I was blessed by being really good looking and women were giving me a lot of attention. In fact I never even had to ask a girl out, they would just show up one after another. I was not sexually active with them because I was so young. After a while I realized what was happening.

My mind had become so calm that I could perceive their vibration and I was able to adjust my own vibration to harmonize with them. This artificial chemistry worked amazingly but it was totally unsustainable. Every one of my relationships failed so badly that when the women would break up with me I would be relieved which really confused them. One time after this happened I went out with my suddenly ex-girlfriend and had the best time we've ever had.

By the time I was about 17 or 18 years old I decided I was never going to do this fake harmony crap and just be myself even if it meant that I wouldn't be able to get any girls.

One day a girl walked down the stairs at my friend's house and I noticed right away that her vibration naturally harmonized with mine. Unfortunately her best friend was really attracted to me and we ended up in a relationship which failed like all the rest. She broke up with me and I was relieved. Like clockwork another girl was apparently waiting in line and I ended up in a relationship with her! Once again she broke up with me but this time and as always I was happy about it. Finally I went after the girl I knew I should have been with all along. The one who's energy was compatible with mine.

This girl was extremely introverted and I wasn't used to trying. It was easy to become friends with her though because we felt really comfortable around each other due to the natural compatibility. It was really refreshing and I really didn't even care if we were more than friends because it was working out so well. I never asked her out (which would have been really awkward for her) I just started making out with her one day and it was a great start to a relationship.

We are married now and have been together over a decade. Our relationship is probably the most successful that I am aware of. I have seen so many people get together and I can see from a mile away that it's not going to work because that basic energetic compatibility is not there. I want to be clear that it's not emotional or chemical its vibrational.

I urge people to learn this most vital lesson and stop wasting time with women because they turn you on or because they are interested in you. I was lucky that all of my failures occurred at such a young age that I wasn't creating baggage for myself and others.

Where does NoFap come into play? Self mastery is the key to being able to recognize this energetic signature. If men are looking at women as sex objects they will not be able to see past their own constructs. They will waste their precious time and energy on relationships that cannot possibly work.

 

Well I experience the same loss in vitality as you guys when I ejaculate. I was using porn to maintain about a 3 day interval because it was working pretty well for me. Recently I've tried going longer and I realized how much energy I was missing out on. I started researching the loss of vitality from ejaculation and I came up with Taoist sexology and NoFap. So now I'm here.

 

Self mastery is critical for this. You have to look past the chemical responses. The subtlety of the vibration makes it easy to miss but in the end it's all that matters. Another way to look at it is, if you took away all sex and physical interaction; would this girl make a good roommate? If the answer is yes than game on, if not keep moving. Remember that girls aren't necessarily paying attention to compatibility. I say this because it worked for me and I don't really see anyone else doing it.

 

Also Ray,

If you've gone 55 days I would say you aren't giving yourself much credit for self control.

 

Theory is a strong word. I would say this is more of an observation. For me PMO was like a drug I was chemically motivated.

 

Earthdragon,

The reason I went out with her friend is that she was very hot and very aggressive, just like in porn! Anyway I let my chemical responses blind me from reality. Elduderino is right you can't base relationships on emotions. The core vibrational compatability is much more subtle than emotion. Emotion is an illusion that fades. People are always chasing after that spark, I say f**k that chase after comfort and serenity. It's much more sustainable and much more relevant. I don't even consider love to be an emotion, its more like a consistent and clean offering of attention.

At the age of 17 when that hot girl was throwing herself at me I just couldn't resist. I lacked the willpower because my sex drive was outrageous. The girl I really liked turned out to be sexually repressed and it took and LONG time to work through that.

That's the point of this thread, at that age you can afford to make mistakes. At 32 years old, as busy as I am there's not much room for error. I would need to be much more aware of what's important to get a girl like that.

Today I have a hell of a lot of willpower and inner peace but I still struggle with this sexual energy. My mind is like a trained dog that awaits my command but my body is horny as hell sometimes.

I am not trying to brag here, I'm just sharing what ended up working for me after making a lot of mistakes.

If I hadn't noticed that subtle harmony I would have never gone for my wife. There were so many other girls and they were so hot. There was also another girl that I had a major crush on at the time and I'm pretty sure she liked me too, but that was more of a chemical and emotional attraction. That path would have led somewhere completely different and I would have blown it.

 

Ray,

Yes! That's what I'm talking about. I guess I call it vibration because it reminds me of what happens when two audible tones work well together vs two that do not. So I feel like in all the failed relationships I was shifting more core frequency to work with theirs but I could only do it for about a half hour before I was totally exhausted. I originally learned this technique working as a cashier at a pizza store. All those customers were opportunities to experiment with it. Once the connection was established they would perk up. The forced harmony is a useful skill as long as you realize the limitations. You could use it to pick up women, but it's pretty shallow because it's a deception.

Even more powerful is to realize that your attention is the most valuable thing you have to offer. People don't want your emotions, they want your attention with no string attached but they are very sensitive to the type of attention you give them. For example, if I am angry and I direct that kind of attention to someone, I might as well be punching them in the face. I think that emotion is like a gauge that lets us know what the energy we are putting off feels like. The best attention in my experience is the unadulterated stuff where you don't feel any emotion but you give all of your attention to someone unconditionally. This is what I would call love. If you see it that way, love is not associated with family, friends, wives or whatever. In fact, saying I love you seems kind of screwed up in this context.

 

Ray,

Mindfulness is an excellent tool for training the mind. Rather than letting the mind run wild, mindfulness is like using it deliberately. For example, when you turn on the tap for water and you contemplate where the water came from and then appreciate the fact that it's so readily available that is mindfulness. This is training to use the mind as a tool of observation rather than just living in the mind. What has really helped me is to see the mind as something separate. My old master said that the mind is like a hurricane and the real you is an observer perspective. Stand at the center in the eye of the hurricane, don't try to control it, just understand that it is out of control and stay out of the way where it is calm. He said living in the mind would be like living in a trashcan. We don't want to get rid of the trash though, we have made many mistakes and we don't want to go through any of that again. We also need all that reference materiel. I wouldn't be able to write this if I hadn't learned English. I am like an idiot my mind is so blank and yet people often say that I'm very smart because of my writing, speech and excellent memory but all of this comes from emptiness. When the mind is blank you can remember everything and understanding is effortless.

The next step for me is to conquer my pride. I am a bit arrogant and it limits my ability to be compassionate. I will never be a master myself until I accomplish that.

The Tao Te Ching is a great resource for people on the path to inner peace. Here is verse 10:

Can you coax your mind from its wandering
and keep to the original oneness?
Can you let your body become
supple as a newborn child's?
Can you cleanse your inner vision
until you see nothing but the light?
Can you love people and lead them
without imposing your will?
Can you deal with the most vital matters
by letting events take their course?
Can you step back from you own mind
and thus understand all things?

Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:
this is the supreme virtue.

Also yes my name is Ryan.