What is going on with me? I can't become older does anyone go through this?

Hi, I'm new to the forums it's nice to meet all of you I'll do an introduction later I created this account to specifically ask this question and to end my two year porn addiction with the help of you guys. I'm happy that I finally came here I've wanted to come here for months now. Anyways on to the question

Does masturbation not make you become older, it's really werid I can actaully age I do have puberty I can become taller, grow some small short facial hairs (I don't have a beerd yet), grow armpit hair, very small under torso hairs, and 1-3 hairs on my nipples but here is the problem.

Bone structure (age), hand size (age), and entire body (age) even my penis I don't look different I look like a 14 year old and you are probably thinking it's just late puberty I'll tell you right now that's not what I'm going through.


There was a a time back in may 2016 end of 9th grade last few days of where i actually did go through bone structure and overall body changes I looked older then but the next day I looked overall younger again. Like one day I looked older and the next day I woke up and I looked younger. Wtf. But it's true and I think my masturbation addiction has to do with this. I was actively masturbating around the time this happened and I feel that sperm is the reason for all of this not being able to age stuff that looks very similar to kallmann syndrome.

So my question is what is going on with me? How come I can grow taller, grow facial hairs but yet look younger? Isn't it suppose to be like I grow facial hairs, become taller along with change in torso size, leg size, bone structure size and age, etc.

Not to mention I looked at my penis it looks like an 8th grader penis instead of a 12th grader penis and yes I just became a 12th grader a month ago so it's werid that my penis looks like an 8th grader penis instead of a 12th grader penis.

 

Wanna know if this has to do with a masturbation addiction/ porn addiction or something else. I notice all of this stuff only happened when I did this masturbation stuff. Sperm contains a lot of important stuff so I believe the answer to all of this is sperm shooting it out all the time.

 

So pretty much I can age in height and facial hair but still look younger. It's really werid. I honestly feel like I'm cursed btw and punished I don't know if anyone of you guys know what I'm going through right now but it's terrible I feel like someone who has gone through kallmans syndrome and it hurts, to see others become older then you while you look younger and stay that way. Not to mention what really hurted me the most is that less then 30,000 people go through this. I feel like for example I'm the only person in the world going through depression imagine what that feels like the only person in the world going through depression. Everyone is suppose to go through an age process normally without problems its not fair.... For now on I'm gonna envy the 7 billion people in this world for now on. The fact that I couldn't age like them sucks so much how come everyone in the world can not have kallmann syndrome when I'm like 1 out of the 20,000 people who have it.


The thing is if I were to stop my masturbation addiction I can actually become a 17 year old bone structure wise and overall self I would be 17. My voice would be deeper too instead of sounding like 14 year old. And yes this is true if I were to wait 10 days atleast with no masturbation I can become 17 agian. The thing is though the longest I've ever went without masturbation was 6 days and that was 1 and a half year ago I never gave my penis a break since then and I keep ejaculating sperm not being able to feel stuff when I ejaculate too I mean I can feel some stuff but it's not as enjoyable as was 2 years ago that's the point.

And I would go through rapid aging so one day I would look different the next day I would look different and it keeps doing that till I become my age I know it sounds crazy like something out of a fantasy but it's true. I would age faster then anyone has in the world. So within 10 days I would become 14 to 17 that's what I'm trying to say. I hope you believe what I'm trying to say but either way what is happening to me and what is causing all of this?

 

I honestly don't even feel like living either anymore. I missed a few years of my life being able to grow older. All I wanted was to be normal like everyone else. I wanted to age normally like everyone else but I can't. And females don't even have the problem of which I have. Trust me out of the 3 billion females in the world no female goes through this problem that I am going through neither does anyone else. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the world who has this problem I bet no one on the forums has this problem that I do. Porn is a disease. I'm not even grateful that god gave me a life as a male cuz only males go through this problem that I'm having not females wish I was looking at that empty void you see at birth or perhaps I just wished I was born a female so I don't have a porn addiction cuz females aren't as horny as males and don't go through what I'm going through right now which you know what it is.

 

Either way I'm being punished by god. For no reason. Or as a matter of fact it's not god its my mom. My mom is the reason for why I'm being punished. And as much as I hate to say that it's true.

 

That's not what I mean, I'm saying that if I was a female I wouldn't be as horny cuz I believe females are not as horny as males. And if I was a female I wouldn't be having this testerone problem. I'm pretty sure females never ever go through this problem that I'm going through and if so only 1 female in the world is going through what I'm going through. Either way what I was saying was I wish I was a female instead of a male cuz of my porn addiction.

 

My legs look like the legs I had back in august 2015 they look as young as that and my body is smaller to what it is suppose to actaully look like my dad has a huge and tall body. And considering he's big an tall you'd think my body wouldn't look this small. Age 17 is where the human body finally stops developing body portion wise isn't it? I notice that for the past 2 years I have really big biceps and it's werid cuz I don't exercise ever. I always stay at home and on the computer and stuff so it's really werid that I have really big muscles considering I don't exercrise. I even have really big leg muscles too and I don't exercise. I believe what you said is what I'm going through.

 

I've done some research actaully and it isn't testosterone. Testosterone has to with sex drive and my sex drive is very high. And I always masturbate often so it's not testosterone I believe this has to do with either hormones like human growth hormone or it has to do with ejaculation. And just to let you know I missed 5-7 stages of growth since 2015 of which should of been mine.

 

Either way my life didn't go the way it planned on going I'm the only one sobering no one else is. 1 out of 30,000 people have kallmann syndrome and thats like 1 person who has depression ONLY in the world out of 7 billion people in the world. Pretty sure you understand how I feel I really wish I could just die and have a 2nd chance in life. Like I wanna be reincarnated and have a 2nd chance in life I missed 7 stages of puberty. And it's something that's perment in my life the thing is like I said in my previous post I won't be able to get to experience what it was like in those 7 stages cuz the thing is I'll only get to experience those 7 stages in 10 days instead of 2 years. Which for the last time sucks.

 

It's DNA.. Something to do with DNA that's why I can't age. I remember listening to these DNA music repair videos on youtube back in 2016-2017 and I think they have bad effects on me. I believe listening to those musics has caused me not to age and become older. Idk. I was even listening to cell regeneration music on youtube along with nerve regeneration music could this be it? And one last thing it's werid I've always gone through this for the past 2 years when I touch my jawline it changes shape like it's going through a development cycle or you know growth. Like it feels like my jawline is become older and then it goes back to being younger again. And when I'm typing this I'm going through that right now. My chin too goes through this too. Like 2 hours ago my chin was flat now it's not flat anymore its going up. But now it just went down. And I remember feeling this chin 2 years ago back in 2016 too and my hands too look a bit older then they were before. I know this sounds like I'm making up a story and it sounds like a fantasy but you got to believe me it's not my imagine. It's DNA and hormones or one of them!!! And btw does anyone else go through what I'm going through and do females go through this too? I don't think so because they don't have sperm and I believe sperm is the cause of this as well.

 

I want an answer ASAP. Doctor I'd have to wait a week before I can go. I'm going through tough times. Everyone else can grow older and I can't. If I were to stop masturbation then I can become 17 years old again. But I won't be able to experience the 7 stages I missed it's really unfair how others can go through puberty without any problems but I fucked up in the ass really good and I had problems with my growth stage. This is permanent stuff. I will never be able in life to experience those stages for the few months I am in them because of my masturbation addiction it destoryed my life. 2 years I could of experienced those stages but rip. This is the reason why I don't want to live anymore. I told you this is how it works. 1 day I will look the same 2nd day I will look the same 3rd and 4th I would but 5th day I might look a bit different and 6th day I would look diffferent and 7th and 8th day I might come back to being 17 years old again. That's such little time I'll only be able to experience those stages for 10 days or less while in comparison I could of been the regular people and experience it for 2 whole years. You're probably wondering how can someone grow so rapidly in a short amount of time it's true I'm not paranoid. The thing I'm pissed about the most is why the fuck can others masturbate and not have these types of side effects. How can one have a porn addiction and just have these simple plain and easy side effects like pre- pre-ejuculation and sperm leakage. Beats me shows how unfair life is to me compared to other people with a porn addiction. Either way I'm hurt. And I consider masturbation to be the devil of the world and I really hate it and I don't understand why god would even create masturbation if it were to cause me problems like this. I think he created masturbation has a punishment.



If there is anyone who has what I'm going through please message me.

 

Reading what you said you don't appear to understand me. I said in my previous post that I'll only get to experience these growth stages for atleast a week or maybe a week and 3 days total. I'll experience a total of 7 stages of growth very rapidly within 10 days, meaning I will age very fast. 4 days later looking like a 15 year old 2 days later looking like a 16 year old and 4 days later looking like a 17 year old. Right now I'm not a 17 year old looks wise even though I'm more of a 14 year old beginning 9th grader as I said. 3 years ago I felt this jawline before and I remember it. It was harder and felt older and I've felt it multiple times then a regular average human can do. I remember the shape of it too. Even 2 years ago as well my chin felt different it sticked up and felt older now its going down straight like when I was younger and not sticking out. The oldest I ever gotten to looks wise was a 15 year old and after that I became looks wise younger looking like that of an 8th grader. And I don't know why it doesn't make me become even younger like a 7th grader or even 6th. Why 8th grader? I guess it's because the time I started masturbation was when I was in 7th grade to 8th grade but I don't think it has anything to do with that and I was wrong I missed a total of 4-5 stages of growth not 7.

Can this be masturbation? I've always thought that actually I'm not really sure if it is but this whole growth stuff starting around the time 3-4 months later I got my highschool yearbook and I was masturbating everyday non-stop to the point of where I would get symptoms from masturbation like nervousness and the growth stuff and I made these uncontrollable faces towards people of which I couldn't stop doing. Either way that would be talked at in another thread I will make later on on the forums.

I'm just envy and I think it's unfair that others aren't going through what I'm going through even in the state I live in I bet theres no one going through what I'm going through I'm the only person in this state who is going through this. Which is why I feel like "life is treating me unfairly" but you know what yeah ik life isn't unfair.


Anyways this is likely DNA, and a bunch of hormones. DNA is the reason for why we become older. So I'll take a look into this. Only males go through this I said this might have to do with male ejaculation of sperm woman don't have sperm obviously.

 

We only have one life therefore I'll never be able to experience what it feels like to go through those stages of growth for those 2 years I missed. Main reason why most of me wanted to kill myself. But I won't.

I believe your headshape and your body stops growing at 18 years old? Either way 6.5 billion people in the world are lucky.