Virgins - do you think it's better to wait for that special someone or just to get it out of the way

I might get a idea why u are still virgin now... ok ok so get some girl and bang her

 

Its not her fault, u allowed it, its in the past. Fuck it. Now its in your hands. But I know... parrent can have devastating effects on us, can relate. But we cant allow that shit to define our future. Easier said than done...fuck

 

That's good.

Ok.. But i wouldn't suggest a prostitute. Jmo... Idk.. I'm 31,will turn 32.
I do get super jealous when I see a couple kissing or holding hands but it's ok. I won't repeat my earlier mistake. Itd be great if I find someone on the dating/matrimonial app though.

I'm in therapy to talk about my issues.

I was about to visit a hooker once but someone here suggested otherwise n I'm glad I listened back then

 

Yes you don't. Cause if you get caught then all the prayers, crying, therapy, social work will not turn back time n you will have to live with consequences.

Instead of getting a hooker, why not join some hobby where you can meet a prospective partner. Like gym or swimming or any hobby you like. I wouldn't recommend sex as final goal. Idk.. Just saying.

 

Omg, this is ridiculous. Stop overthinking everything and just start talking to girls. Forget about sex you ain't gonna get anything if you act like a loser whiny kid. Also the advice about getting a hook is horrible advice and you should reconsider what you wrote. I don't want to sound repetitive repeating previous advice, but meeting someone, building a loving relationship and exploring each other in a sexual way; knowing you love each other is much better. And frankly if you don't agree, you are just missing out on so much more life offers... Personally I couldn't think of anything more depressing than being so needy for sex that you'd pay for it, but hey that's just my opinion, which I am entitled to.

 

This.

I whine a lot n its ok, but I talk to my therapist about my issues. They're more qualified. Sex really isnt better than emotional bonding. Take some time off for yourself. Maybe go on a vacation with friends, hiking. Idk. Long bike rides.

 

I second this. Ever since I joined this forum, this is all i've been preaching about. Getting a good therapist is one of the best decisions of my life regards to my self confidence, and finding myself. Takes time though...

 

There may be no special someone. You have to decide yourself who u want to make special.

 

Yes n it takes times. It's not like we're all running out of time.

 

I lost my virginity to a prostitute abroad when I was 21. I spent a week of my two week holiday in a brothel with a prostitute drunk most nights, while my family were in hotel not far from me. I spent 90% of my holiday fund just so I was able to go and visit this girl and have sex with her... What was worst is that I couldn't even cum when I was having sex with her. Probably due to the fact that I didn't find her attractive and in my mind I knew what I was doing was wrong but I still continued to visit her every night for a week. I would promise this girl I didn't know the world, I would swear I would take her away from this horrible life she lived and I would come back for her... I never did. Sex is an alluring thing and it can make you do and say stupid things.

I'm 32 now and I haven't had sex since then. I haven't had a girlfriend or the opportunity to be able to have sex. I've never had a girlfriend, that was the main reason for the prostitute, and because my Grand-dad had just died and I was in a miserable place mentally and wasn't thinking clearly either. It's a mistake I live with every day of my life and it's something I wish I had never done. Due to having sex with this girl unprotected I also had to have an HIV test when I returned home.. It came back negative. Some people can live with it and it doesn't bother then mentally, but it did for me. So my advice for any one thinking "Should I just get it over with" Don't do it... Wait for that somebody that you actually have feelings for, and are real. Not the fake feelings I was dealing with. This girl didn't love me, she only wanted my money.

 

I don't really know how hard you were "actively searching." But you're gonna have to change that attitude my friend. You should remember that before you even consider getting in bed with a woman you find attractive, a woman you love. You need to become her friend, hell, it's in the name "Boyfriend." Being in the "friendzone" is just a cultural annotation of a lie of the reality of rejection. There is nothing wrong with being friends first, often most of my girlfriends were merely good friends who i'd actively hang out with each day. Treated them like a gentlemen, treated them as if we were in a relationship; e.g. tell her how much I appreciated her for being my friend, or telling her how beautiful she looked in a dress she decided to wear because previously she told me shes not the kind of person to wear dresses. That is something I often find guys here just don't know. You have to be friends before you become lovers, you gotta put yourself out there and swallow your pride, become a gentlemen; yeah its corny but to them its not. Woman often find guys who expect them to fit a role in the relationship a huge red flag. They're pretty darn smart at reading guys; and the opposite i'd say is guys often just have one straight emotion, hunger - eat, feeling sad- sad, happy - happy. In woman there is a lot going on all the time. When is the last time you felt afraid going out, walking the street, or even standing waiting for an Uber by yourself? Guys often don't, but if you asked a woman they'd tell you all the time. Do most guys realize that, No. because we don't have those same emotions, those same brain smart circuitry stuff weird up the same. You ain't gonna know woman if you don't start talking and getting to know them and just making friends.

 

I don't know man, I think wanting sex is pretty human. But fantasizing to the point where it makes you feel sorry for your self, and wish you had it is a pretty fucked up way of looking at it. Should talk to a therapist if it gets really bad. No need to keep going on this way.