Thoughts on Nice Guys?

Nice is a word that doesn't mean anything. I think you might mean agreeable or the fawn response that one psychologist, Pete Walker talks about.

 

Not true, being nice portray some negative behaviour that is just being covered up. The more nice you are the more negative behaviour you have and the bigger the cover up.
It just screams out loud stay away there is something wrong with me otherwise I wouldnt behave so nice. No shit women run a way when they experience it, makes perfect sense.

BTW there are not only nice guys but also nice girls, although less often, but the same principles of cover up applies to them as well. Not sure who is Crushed Ice but I personally find nice girls a big turn off and I dont date them.

 

I mean the dictionary definition.

 

As I have aged and seen the role “nice” plays in my professional career, not just my misses with girls when I was younger. I realize the problem with me being “nice” isn’t so much the fact that I was nice, it’s that “nice” masks my lack of confidence. And society rewards confidence.

 

I would definitely not be nice, but I would strive to be good. That however only after mastering the art of assholery.

 

How would you define a nice girl?

 

I don't think women resent genuinely nice guys. There are forms of niceness that raise suspicion in people, especially in people who don't know you very well. You can be of course be nice, but not a doormat with no opinions who takes themself too seriously. Being overly nice and mild can be somewhat boring and leave jokes not as spicy.

The "nice guys" that get roasted on reddit are very entitled, not self aware, not patient and get too easily attached to a particular woman. You can't be this type guy. You'll fumble a lot of opportunities acting like this. Be a good talker with some real ideas, playful and generous first to build some connection.

 

You gotta stand for something, agree or disagree about something, stand up for ur morals. No women or men like someone who agrees about everything.

 

Exactly same as nice guy, identical behaviour. I dont need to define it here again Robert Glover did it fabulously in his "No More Mr Nice Guy" on page 11-13 https://archive.org/details/RobertGloverNoMoreMrNiceGuy

 

Honestly I always thought women didn't like nice guys either because they are push-overs and too sensitive. But then I realized that it's the minimum and often used by men who are ironically complete assholes. Women do not want nice guys, they want epic guys.

 

So I won't have any chance with women if I continue to be a nice guy

 

Nice guys are just entitled narcisisst. They make some sort of a deal where they exchange services with a girl, all inside their own head without the express agreement of the girl in question. If you're a gullible simp, and expect sexual rewards for your simping, then you're a hopeless idiot.

 

Well then I think I'm somewhere in the middle

 

Well then I think I'm somewhere in the middle

 

I think most of us are.

 

There is this movement that says you have to behave like a jerk to attract women. Being kind is a quality. It's probably the most important quality when it comes to meeting women and being fulfilled as a man. What's wrong with doing good around you?

What you're talking about is something I've also been through, which is forgetting yourself to please others due to a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. Of course, it's impossible to have fulfilling relationships (or any relationships at all) in that case. But it's also important to try to understand why men (or yourselves) act like this. To show empathy and realize that everyone has their traumas and problems. Forgetting about oneself to please others often comes from childhood traumas related to feelings of rejection from parents or at school. So we try to compensate for this with behaviors that aim to be liked by others.

It's all about balance in relationships in general, not just with women. And traumas create imbalances. It's up to you to find solutions, wto rebalance everything and be comfortable in your body and mind. And one last piece of advice: knowing how to live alone is the best advice when it comes to meeting women. When you know how to live alone, you know how to set your boundaries because you enjoy being alone. So you choose your relationships. When you can live alone, you can live with others.

 

I don't think it's very cool for her. You just didn't like her, which is normal, but another guy and probably several others found qualities in her and had a relationship with her afterwards. I think we should stop debating about the best way to behave with women because no one knows anything about this subject. Moreover, the more you judge others, the more you usually judge yourself.

I have approached thousands of women on the street, maybe 3000 or more, and elsewhere in my life, and all it has taught me is to be a little less sure of my ideas because I knew nothing in the end. When a woman is attracted to you, it is not because you are sexier or have an aura that others do not have. And conversely, when you get rejected, it is not your fault. It's just life.

I think men are hurting themselves today by trying to find answers to questions that have never been proven by anyone. Relationships are abstract. That doesn't mean you should stop trying to become better, caring about your style, discovering passions, travelling, taking risks. On the contrary. But be careful not to fall into too much frustration and try to search for answers that will lead you nowhere.

Being nice, exciting, it doesn't mean anything. You will find women who will love your personality, others won't. The relationships I've had, I didn't do anything special, I just acted normally without asking myself 3000 questions about "how to do it". And if I had asked myself those questions and it had worked, what would it have brought me in the end? I don't think much. Except for the fact that my technique worked. Yay

 

Nice isn't a great word but I'll use it here.

I don't think 'nice' women are all that desirable. Would you really want to be with a woman who can't say no? Someone who is always doing stuff for other people even when deep down she doesn't want to do it? Someone who always lets others take advantage of her? I would hope the answer is absolutely not! Really people pleasers don't make good partners.

As for 'nice guys' I think it's the wrong sort of question to be asking. The question we should be asking is: what kind of person do you want to be? I mean if a woman said she liked men who jump off cliffs would you jump off a cliff? I don't know about anyone else but the answer from me is no, I will not jump off a cliff because a woman told me to jump off a cliff. In my view, we should live out our values. I think instead spending all this time trying to figure out what women want, figure out what your values are and live them out.