Thoughts on Nice Guys?

I think we play different game.
- Men have to be masculine.
- Women have to be feminine.

I'm not saying people pleaser, I'm saying nice. Let's say "motherly" for lack of a better word.

I want to be a succesful person. Whatever that means in different subjects. No, I wouldn't jump off a cliff, but if a woman say she likes ripped men, would I like being ripped? yes.

I agree with you that "women aren't monoliths" but that's really saying nothing, men aren't monoliths either yet you'll find men.... to put this simple, who do you think is more attractive:

https://i2-prod.dailystar.co.uk/incoming/article27817791.ece/ALTERNATES/s1200c/3_JS275364142.jpg
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ED5ih91XYAANu16.jpg

And remember, men aren't monoliths either.

But they will certainly prefer girl A over girl B.

Just because you aren't monoliths it doesn't mean you don't similarities, or things on average you prefer. Men on average prefer A over B despite not being monoliths. How does that work?

I think, and I'm not saying as a diss to you, not trying to be "witty" or insult you here at all but to be respectful while giving my opinion, that you are taking things to the extreme. "In my view, we should live out our values". If you are at a job interview, is it important to live out our values or be the thing that the company is looking for the job?

Same with men/women. Let's randomly assume that girl B is living out our values, for the sake of the argument, good for her, but when it comes to dating in particular, do you think that her living out her values will make her more or less attractive in your opinion than girl A? I think this "live you your values" is just flawed thinking, you should do your best to become the most desireable thing if you want to be desired. Just like a job interview.

Why is it so controversial to say that men like hot women and women like hot men?

But, as I said, we play different games.
- Men have to be masculine.
- Women have to be feminine.

Because men have different things attractive in women, and women have different things attractive in men. So no they aren't monoliths but that isn't saying much.

Why even wear clothes if your values are "not wearing clothes", because it makes you socially desirable?

 

To expand on the idea that we play different games.
- Men have to be masculine.
- Women have to be feminine.

There's the obvious ones:
- Men hit on women.
- Women are hit on by men.

Women have a lot of suitors and generally pick the best, which is why women are very ok with having male friends.
Men are the ones doing the suiting or chasing and this is why there are so many cases of men being in the friendzone.

While the girl genuinely thinks they are just friends and at the end of the day she is very dissapointed because she was actually put in the sleep-with-you zone. It's really heartbreaking for women like that because she really thought she had a friend. She already picked her suitor, now she wants friends. He played a different game.

So going back to the idea above, it's in your best interest to become the best suitor. Why? because women have a lot of suitors and generally pick the best.

Women can always find someone, yeah, but it's like I'm Gold in League of Legends but I'm playing with Silvers, but it's like is it worth being with someone if you don't actually want to be with them? It's like playing on an account that you have no motivation to climb on the ladder with. How do you get rid of a girl? give her everything she thinks she wants. She thinks she wants you to be emotionally open with her, she thinks she wants you to hear about your feelings, she thinks she wants you to respond 1 second after you text her.

She thinks she wants you to talk with no one else. Do all of that and then they're gonna lose attraction towards you. Most of the time people will fall in love with what they will believe you to be rather than what you actually are.

Men date down. It's way harder for men to get women than the reverse. Women may have flirter with guys that are way out of their league and even slept with them, maybe some even rejected them, but in general. For men, getting a girlfriend is the difficult test, for women getting married is the difficult test. Or better say, getting commitment. What getting a girlfriend is for men, getting commitment is for women. This is why some women are like "why I won't find a guy that will commit?". Because while women put men in the "virign, untouchable, maybe friend at best" zone and "dateable suitable zone". Men put women in "sleep with zone" and "relationship material". A guy will sleep with a woman even if he doesn't know her name, women won't do that. So yeah, women may have been rejected but most likely slept with men out of their league.

But when it comes to genuine "relationship material" women, men will date down. A man who is a doctor will date a barista, a female doctor will probably not even look at a man barista, she can do so much better.

Why is dating so hard for men but so easy for women?
- Guys have to be well above average looking (top 20%) if you want women to randomly approach you and flirt with you (talking from experience). Women only have to be average-looking to get endless attention and proposals.
- Guys have to be taller than the average female height (because women won't date shorter guys, and even then, generally speaking the taller the man the better, "tall" is such a big thing to women, like it's instantly hot). If you're 5'4 male your options are already limited.
- Guys above a certain age like 25 have to have status, own home, money, car. Women can be unemployed, live with her parents and still get dates.
- Guys have to have at least equal education status to the girl they want to date. Women prefer a guy who is above them in educational status.
- Guys are trapped to a gender role. Guys have to show that they are masculine and desired by other women (in demand). Being pre-selected by other women is an important thing for women. This is why women cheating with married men is more popular than it should be, they are already pre-selected, already in demand, so already hot as certified by other women.
- Guys how to show they are respected by other men. Guys don't care whether a woman is respected by other women or not.
- Guys have to show alpha male traits and be assertive, dominating the conversation means being there above, in control.
- Women just have to be healthy-looking, as it not being fat. Simple as that. And be at least average looking, which even that can be fixed with make-up, and they will be approached by men looking to date them.