They literally just never stop lying

That's what I kept wondering too. And it didn't help to read PAs journals/posts and see that it indeed seems to be possible for some to be completely honest with their SOs as hard as it is because that's the only right thing to do out of love. Why can/could they do it but others can't. At least in my case I know I was with someone who never cared about loving me in the first place. Maybe others do genuinely care but they are just broken inside and don't know/realize how to heal their wounds yet to be able to love and be honest with themselves.

I think in the end the net result of how you feel matters. Do you see steady progress and willingness to change when it comes to him being honest with you and feel otherwise fulfilled, or do you only suffer and have your hopes crushed over and over again. You should always listen to your own needs and feelings truthfully as well. Because you deserve happiness and love.

Thank you for your sympathy and I can only say the same back. I am not even excluding myself from the people who have wrong ideas about love because I used to be one of them. I had my own shield out when I lied to hide the shame about my social anxiety and not realizing it was wrong and incompatible with love. But as I started to put my shield down, I was betrayed in return.

Ironically I came back to this site after breaking up with my supposedly PA ex and realizing that I am an actual addict myself, not a porn addict but a relationship addict. I kept ignoring subtle red flags from the beginning that only increased with time and I stuck around even when the rational part of my brain was screaming at me to leave. Yet I didn't leave because I was trauma-bonded to him. I dont want to deviate too much from the topic but since this is the relationship section I want to just encourage SOs to really take a close look at themselves and their relationships because I was in denial for too long and with that became an accomplice in my own abuse and misery, just like any other addict I suppose. It is very tempting for vulnerable people (lonely, low self-esteem, attachment/childhood trauma, people pleasers) to stay in dysfunctional relationships with an addict and otherwise emotionally unavailable people (e.g. narcissists) because we desperately try to fill a void and try to find excuses ("it's just the addiction") for toxic behavior just so we won't be lonely and we can live with the illusion of someone caring and loving us without actually having to let our guard down because the other person is in fact not letting theirs down either, intentionally or not. I am not saying all addicts are the same because they are not. And not all SOs are the same. But just be aware of your own mental health and whether the addict is actually trying to fix their behavior at the root and doing their part to turn the relationship into a healthy one.