Tell me what you want, what you really, really want

Hi ANH!!!! Your wife is an amazingly blessed woman to have you. She really, truly is. I think a letter is a beautiful way to broach the subject. You are so clearly talented with words and have such passion for your wife that I am certain a letter written by you would be perfect. I would have loved if my husband showed such care and willingness to please. I would be VERY happy to receive such a letter.

 

It's still hard to communicate with her after 30 years?

 

Missed the point.
The point is to do a new form of communication for the spark

 

And I think it's great ANH

 

ANH, you inspire and challenge me everyday. I don't think I would be happy with the sexual arrangement you have with your wife. yet you are. you have found a way to be more than content, and to have it not tarnish your sincere love for your wife. I am envious. I am challenged to aspire to that sort of love. it is truly selfless -and tbh, that's a little scary for me.

anyway, just wanted you to know I admire you

 

I recall long ago seeing a game that was like a deck of cards with different positions, role-plays and scenarios on each card. The idea was each person select a card with containing they'd like to try and give it to the other person. Then they make it happen or can discard it into a "not into that pile." Sounds cheesy but it struck me as an easy way to open the gates to some kinky experimentation. Can't remember the name but you could easily make your own deck.

 

Have you thought of a coupon book?

 

That's my kind of coupon book.

 

Me too!!!!

 

#goals#rebootreward

 

@anewhope, if you say you're reserved/repressed, then WTH is my BF? He can't even give me a compliment. In over a year and a half he once complimented one of my shirts (because it was slightly revealing), but not me. He can't say anything feeling-oriented (if/when I force him!) without changing his voice to a totally quiet, barely understandable mutter. You want a British reserved/repressed guy, talk to @slb.

 

Read this book. Then get him to read it. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Love_Languages

 

Isn't there a "guys" version

 

I gave him this book already months ago!!! I don't think he's read it, though. He might have "scanned" it for the major points. He procrastinates with everything, including his *emotional* recovery. Or maybe he has so many books to read nowadays (I send him material to read/watch), that he hasn't gotten to this one yet fully. BUT, we have talked extensively about the 5 languages, and he knows my languages, but doesn't really act on that knowledge. Too scared and ashamed.

 

Yeah, and a ton of other versions http://www.5lovelanguages.com/resources/books/

 

Why is scared and ashamed? B/c of P?

 

And for those who REALLY don't have time for the book, here's a study guide to quickly make some assessments: http://fivelovelanguages-m0.s3.amazonaws.com/uploads/2011/08/5LLForMen_StudyGuide_2015.pdf