Shut out/down a girl at the gym...

Gym dynamics haven't changed much since my original post. I've relaxed my energies now, so while I do attract people's attention in some way - positive or negative - I don't seem to have that visibly pronounced effect of disturbing others.

I sort of "used" the presence of a girl in the gym today to enhance, improve and make my workout excellent. I recommend it to other guys.

An attractive girl entered the gym with her boyfriend while I was working out - I was at the squat rack, she used the leg press machine behind me, and her boyfriend went to the dumbbell area of the gym, which was to the side of our area a few meters away.

She entered with a focussed presentation, headphones on, meaning business. OK, fine, I was meaning business also. Like a lot of girls, she was probably expecting male attention. I didn't provide any, though inwardly there was always this itch to smile goofily, to s*mp, to look at her. I redirected my focus even with that discomfort, and suddenly this subconscious part of me seemed to inhabit me, providing me with calm assurance, focus, fluidity, assertiveness, confidence, ease, mindfulness. I've spoken about it earlier in this thread, and in my journal. In not allowing my energies to go to the attractive girl, I was blessed with the aforementioned positive traits right away. Part of me, within me, was observing my functioning and was in awe and impressed. I was so focussed and calm and fluid, totally mindful and aware of what I needed to do. My form for the squat was impeccable, and I hit the right spots with the right technique. All the while not looking at her, my energies devoted to my redirection. I was never really good at squats, but somehow in surrendering to my Energies, I performed the squats beautifully. My physicality and movements while squatting and especially between sets exuded confidence. I got a LOT of curious and put-off looks from people, but I've learned that receiving the latter is common while on SR (I've watched a lot of videos on SR effects on others).

Her boyfriend, from where he was, was looking over at her/me, likely to see if I was going to flirt with his girl, or make a move, or whatever. I don't know. Maybe he sensed something about me and wanted to see if I was a threat to his girl, or that I'd suddenly "take her away" from him? He kept looking at us/me, sensing some sense of threat(?), his focus interrupted, an insecurity showing.

That's the power of SR vs non-SR right there. He's probably having frequent sex with said girl, losing his seed presumably NOT for reproduction, indulging in whatever sex-routine they have. Knowing that, knowing how she is indulging in that too, why the fuck should I waste my SR energy on her? Whereas me, on 6-months of SR so far, despite my discomfort within, remained calm, assured and focussed, mindful. I think other people in the gym were expecting me to lose focus for a moment or three when the girl was around me, but I didn't, and I'd like to think they like me for that, even if they didn't say anything.

I still need to do something about the small self within that feels discomfort and longs for more human connection, empathy and inclusion, though. The gym isn't a good place to have that - everyone's posturing, pretending, posing, performing. Society isn't a good place to have that. Let people who've bought into it do what they do. Keep your energy to yourself, and you will be Rewarded.

 

Another gym experience. @ibi , I recall, from your former journal, that you had a similar experience involving a girl of a similar age-bracket...I remember you were on an outing near some water. It would be nice to hear your thoughts/reflections.

On to the post:

Almost 6 and a half months on SR; energy, quiet confidence and calm obviously exuding. Still trying to reconcile the inner anxiety in me as well.

Inspired looks from girls at the gym who I would safely bet are in high school. I'm in my 30's. One girl in particular was very mature in terms of handling the eye contact/slightly smiling exchange; I believe this is how girls their age really can be in terms of maturity - their daily realities, however, don't encourage that part of them to further grow and develop. In any case, these high school girls revealed their age just by revealing themselves - they're still figuring out how to dress sexily, and so it comes off as a bit awkward and experimental, even as it's all still quite revealing and highlighting their burgeoning-body features.

Of course, what SR does is that it doesn't lure you into ogling or even glancing at women's body parts. I think I'm glad that when those girls looked back to me to see if I was ogling them (I'm sure they were expecting me to), I was focused on my workout.

But I will comment on receiving attentive looks from girls their age:
It is fresh. It is new. It is forgiveness. It is redemption. It's validation for your hard work on SR. There is an aspect of attention-seeking from them in those looks, but that comes after the initial attentiveness, I think. I don't think they'd seek attention from a guy who gives off bad/PMO-ing energy.

If I were to go back to my former self of their age, I would never have the guts to talk to them. This is not to say that my high-school brain that was nevertheless attracted to them went away - it's still in there, partly. But now there is maturity, and discretion, and awareness, and prison, and angry fathers, and so forth.

But to garner looks from such girls - it is momentarily gratifying for sure. If you think on it more, your spirit may soar with joy, excitement and rejuvenation. But as not to even imply impropriety, you have to be a bit more stern in how you reciprocate - you have to be the more mature and wiser one. This is not fun. This is not pleasurable. This is life-denying. I think there needs to be a way to work out a better bridge of sorts. But for now, I had to shut out further potential flirtation as that's better than being seen as the local pedo or whatever.

I don't care what anyone says, this applies for both men and women: we can be attracted to ages of a very, very wide berth. I know my brain is attracted, physically, to young women even in their late-teenage years, to women into their 60's. I believe this applies to women as well, on a physical level. Everything else is discretion, conditioning, social conventions, maturity etc.

Tread wisely.

 

Same old story at the gym. Definitely some curious perceptions/looks/interest from women young and old. Getting to friendly familiarity with these women is almost a seemingly impossible scenario though. Let's assume women at the gym are mostly operating with their guards up. Well, I've got news for you gym-goers: so am I. There's a certain focus and inner devotion that you abide by while on SR and peace-prioritizing. So naturally you're not looking to say "whassup" and fist bump every dude in there, or smile and flirt with the girls in there - you're operating on the opposite. It goes like this:

Females have their guard up; you (meaning me) don't care. Or, you know they're with their guards up, so you put your guard up because you did nothing to deserve their putting their guard up; you did nothing except man-exist. They see you don't care and so they start becoming intrigued, but by the time they're intrigued (even if they have bf's), you've sort of "written them off" in your mind because they chose to act stuck up and if not, they've assumed that their body and way they're dressed would be enough to gain your attention and efforts. So no one's happy as no communication is happening. And so it goes. Man...there's got to be better women than this.

EDIT: Not "better" women (wrong choice of word), but more courageous women.

 

I did not. Perhaps I had glimpses, but nowhere near this constant level.

Before I answer this one - are you being sarcastic? Pardon me if I'm mistaken. I'll answer once you confirm.