Shut out/down a girl at the gym...

Two girls, actually, but I think the first one wanted to tease me.

I've been on retention for almost two months now, and if you were to peruse my thread in the 30-39 journals, you'll see that I talk about a distinct, powerful aura that retaining has me emanating.

I've retained before with similar reactions from women, which I'll describe below; I also meditate constantly, trying to form myself into a stronger, more psychologically resilient individual.

Every morning before I arise from bed, I assume my meditation. It brings me great clarity, coherence, fluidity, deeper intelligence and resonance with truth. Being human, I stumble during the day, but I always re-assume my meditative way of being. It requires great trust, and abandon, and flow-allowing, but that's another topic.

While at the gym, I hone in on my meditative state while doing my exercises. It guides me and fuels my endurance and stamina much more than if I were just going to the gym for the sake of "ok, I must exercise, I will get myself up and go workout according to a set routine".

Today, I was in an especially trusting and aligned state with meditative Flow, and (2) women took notice. While not looking at me directly, you could tell by their facial expressions that they were either in a state of not knowing what to make of me, or otherwise smiling a secret, knowing smile to themselves.

Girl #1, after a while, got off her treadmill and started doing stretches directly in front of me, in what I would label as distinctly seductive in intention. As I'm on retention, of course I did not stare, but peripheral awareness told me this. You will notice that semen retention causes other awareness to become heightened. I won't describe her exact movements/stretches, so as not to trigger anyone.

Girl #2 was way more obvious/blatant. She noticed my absolute detachment from perving on Girl #1, and she seemed to take it up a level, to see if I'd stray from my focus if she tried the same behavior. Perhaps she thought I wasn't attracted to Girl #1 and that I'd be attracted to her (they were both attractive by Western standards). While on my stationary machine, she came up a few feet in front of me, making sure I could not miss her in her tight, short gym clothes, placing herself so that I'd look her way. I could tell that she was reacting to my indifference, trying to get me to look at her, yet at the same time bewildered that I wasn't. When I finished my workout, again she came up to where I was going to dispose of the paper towel and I just disposed mine and let her dispose hers after. No eye contact on my part.

Relatively, I was savage, I know. Stone cold.

Here's the thing. I'm on retention as well as a meditative spiritual process. These girls, whose personalities I do not know, are using their bodies to distract me/gain my attention. They say nothing to me, attempt to make zero conversation, they use their appearance to try to get me to do something/give them some sort of attention. Honestly, in those instances, and in those precise situations, they are no different from YouTube/TikTok girls you can just look up, girls who have tons of subscribers/patrons. I would surely have engaged them IF they chose to speak to me, but they did not. Whatever it was they wanted their bodies to make me do, they wanted me to do the work. And I am already at work with retaining my seed, my focus, my spirituality, my resilience. You also think things like (if I were to bite their bait) other girls in the gym, who may not meet those standards of attractiveness, would be observing, thinking "look at him, he's just like all the common dudes, shallow, falling for media-type aesthetics" while knowing exactly what their fellow female was doing. And I agree, I don't want to be that guy. I want a more substantial, meaningful exchange. I'm not a schmuck who falls for a piece of butt-in-yoga-pants.

I guess I am posting this for support. I will report that with each mental choice to not look her way, I was immediately able to increase the intensity and endurance of my workout. It was as if I redirected that energy back into improving my physical resilience. It felt awesome, I won't lie. God knows I would have stumbled or become disoriented if I were to give those women the attention they were looking for. I felt way more confident in my meditative process and how, were I not to fall for distraction, it makes me into a superhuman in a sense.

Does anyone feel me here? Are there any votes of support for how I handled things? Some part of me used to feel guilty for shutting out/down these girls' behavior, but when you look at it, they're attempting to appeal to guys' base desires, which, as we know, derails us and messes up our entire lives and has us posting here on nofap for recuperation and support. It can be seen as somewhat patronizing on their part; insulting, even. I reiterate that I would have engaged them in conversation if they so chose that route.

Looking forward to guys' comments.

Thanks in advance.

 

Thank you sir. Appreciate it. I actually feel a little bad for it, for some reason. But something felt dishonest and patronizing about her whole show. Like she expected me to lap it all up. I wouldn't let myself get to that level.

 

Thank you Kieran.

 

Thanks, Raven.

Indeed - no one but the girl herself knows if she's really a polite and intelligent person beneath. She's certainly not letting anyone know by presenting herself that way, though (showing off her body).

I think it's true: once the baser girls fall away, better girls start to materialize. But even the non-lust-reliant girls try to get you to do their bidding. You really have to maintain your resilience at all times.

Thanks for the support and solidarity.

 

Thank you for commenting, OliverJ.

My own brand of meditation is just that - my own brand. That being said, it's quite simple. I hope it'll work for you if I describe it.

Yes, essentially it's focussing on my breath. But I have spent the last many years developing a value system, training my mind to buy into those values (since they resonate to me as truths) and what has happened is my breath ONLY responds to those thoughts. A simple example, if I were to think "the sun is purple", my body would NOT inhale, or breathe in. A gym example: if I am doing my meditative breathing, and I see a "sexy/hot" girl there, I'd immediately look away and continue on focussing on my breathing. She could orbit me, highlight her butt, even undress in front of me. My brain would previously be aching to look, but in sticking with my breathing and observing my thousands of thoughts, eventually my thoughts say (about the girl): "there is human being in front of me" and only upon THAT THOUGHT am I compelled to glance her way if she hasn't already moved off from blatantly being in front of me. All other glances besides that would have been for tits, ass or short shorts. And that's what such girls want you to do. So you see - I've focussed my thoughts on truth.

Basically I would say - since my brand of meditating is my own - I'd tell you to focus on your breathing. Really abandon yourself to it, surrender to it, keep going until you go deep; until your being is calm. You'll find that your brain becomes much clearer and insights eventually appear on what you must do, from your deepest truth and intelligence, in that moment. And then you get up and you do it. And you continue on like that. Trust the process. Be devoted. Results do come.

 

Thank you sir. I feel/felt guilty because I suppose I wasn't giving them the attention, but then again, it is a debased and dare I say toxic way that they are seeking it. I was raised to see women as demigods who are noble and unflawed, so there's a bit of conditioning there too. But as my power increases, so does my DGAFability about those things.

Thanks again for commenting.