Question for the women

Hi I’m female and my ex had PIED. I agree with you that society objectifies women and that is true across all areas of the media. I don’t like to be objectified who would? But not all men objectify women and not all men are addicted to porn. We all pretty much watch the same tv as well. I don’t think that media is to blame. You sort of seem to say men can’t think for or control themselves from seeing women as objects? To me that sounds like an excuse. If it were true all men would also be porn addicts. The key is being able to critically think and say okay that’s tv but it’s pretend not reality. And get to know real women as friends. If you know you can’t watch porn as an addict then don’t watch it. Porn and tv are here to stay unfortunately .

 

Unfortunately a lot of the time it can be women themselves that make this stuff worse. Whenever you see girls in these videos, commercials, movies or whatever and they dress and act in these certain pornographic ways it really doesn't help.

Like they know what they're getting into and I honestly doubt they care how they're portrayed, because they're willing to do such provocative acts or show skin on screen for obviously the money.

 

Women are quick to blame men for a lot of crap like porn and what goes on screen, that's absolute rubbish and is stupid logic. Who are the ones acting it out on screen for the money? Any time I hear women complain about men and see a girl doing something slutty or "sexy" whether in a t.v show or commercial, I laugh to myself because I know who's making it worse.

If all women refused to make porn or do sexually fuelled ads or whatnot we wouldn't be having these problems at all would we? Honestly to me we're just as much to blame if not worse, because we're the fuel for the fire.

 

it is what it is. i am a girl. yes sometimes i am offended by meanings of some songs etc.
but live and let others live. as long as that doesn't bug me personally, i don't care

 

I agree that there are stupid men and women out there. Yes porn does encourage woman to be whores as that sells. Lets face it, porn is a big business and to sell you have to be different, meaning porn stars have to do pretty awful stuff to themselves and have to look dolled up as well. This leads to unrealistic expectations as I really shouldn't expect my wife to act like a porn star.
As people adapt we will see more and more sexualization in our media so might as well get used to it and break this addiction soon. I can't change the world by myself but I can change me. If I see a trigger I know I can always change the channel or web site.

 

I have a game for you, compare the number of people of each gender in both business, beauty and food advertisements on TV. It's really not just music videos etc, there are a lot of subliminal messages in day to day life that tend to go unnoticed.

As for the music videos, you get the female singers using half naked males. Although I do get what you mean as the ratio to female to male models used is very high. Although people may see this as demeaning, many others don't it's totally based on perspective. I think this is a bias, since a lot of us here have certain addictions it may just be our perspective seeing this way while others may not.

[I wrote this very late so apologies if the grammar is bad]

 

I actually think we see close to the amount of sexual images of men as we do women. It’s changing. R rated movies now commonly show full frontal male and that never used to happen.

The difference presents itself in a societal norm which says that it’s a woman’s primary job to look attractive. Whereas most don’t say that about men. Sure it’s nice if they are but men are recognized for other things first such as their intelligence or ability to provide. This is Best demonstrated when we view women that hold or run for political positions. They are attacked on their weight, their clothes, wrinkles you name it instead of being attacked on their positions. If a man is losing an argument with a woman the first thing he does is attack her physical appearance rather than challenger her intellect. Do men’s looks get made fun of sure but not even half as much as women. A man can have a pot belly a horrible comb over, and a bad orange tan and still be respected for his intellect but a woman is not. It’s s catch 22 because if you are a very attractive women people think you are dumb, not the case with attractive men, but if you are unattractive and smart no one respects you either because you are not aesthetically pleasing and that’s how women should be. Some people do this subconsciously. And make no mistake it’s women and men that are guilty. The bottom line is there is a lot more focus on a woman’s looks than a mans.

Women who are well educated are told to smile more at work but their male peers walk around with scowls and get promoted.

It’s in this way That women are seen as objects. Something to look at and enjoy but not real people with emotions or problems. Porn is just a symptom of a problem that’s always been there.

 

I'm actually quite glad I can't relate to nearly any of what you just said. I'm currently 17 so I hope I can be in the majority of the younger generation for when I say everything is changing for the good (in this aspect anyway).

 

But what about the poor innocent pre-pubescent children looking for direction and meaning in a meaningless world? Into the hungry void floods all the pop culture fueled by sex. It's like they don't even get a chance to begin with.

And what of culture? Are we not, in some small way, responsible for each other? Must it be a self-centered dog-eat-dog world? Must we be dominated by such a dehumanizing logic?

 

But why just give up and say "may as well get used to it", surely there's something we can do to change it. As you say there'll be more sexualization and it's not just on the web or t.v anymore, how are you going to avoid triggers when it's everywhere?

Here they're already considering putting nudity in the front of magazines, and possibly billboards or in the front of stores/shops. It's getting out of hand and pretty soon you won't be able to step foot outside without seeing something.

 

i get it. having my future kids in a world full of these very bad messages i don't approve is not good at all. i know now how to navigate in this sea of immoral stuff (Miley Cyrus in her "glorious" days was really disgusting and s explicit so also some women super sexualize themselves it is not only men who portray women in a degrading way, Weinstein case where women talked about the abuse after 20 years of career and oscars won thanks to that producer i found that really ridiculous for women who have been raped and traumatized for life) the best is to teach my future kids how to distant themselves from this. i wouldn't want them to watch p as i did coz i know what that did to me

I don't define myself a feminist. lately the worst sluts profess themselves feminists and they say they speak in the name of all women and it is even worse. I found out some stuff about an actress who said was abused by this Weinstein and she had a p. as a woman, and i am not the only one, i don't see myself represented by these women. i hate defending women's opinions just because we are all women. I remember when i saw the lawyer Amal Clooney speaking in a court. I am proud of these kind of women who use their brain more than their body

 

The problem is we are the minority, and we just don't have the numbers yet to stem the tide. Yes, we can do things now like contacting our local representatives. This brings up another problem in that so many of us are ashamed of our situation. Oh, while some of the people on here are outright against porn and the sexualization of anyone (Me included), you will find more often then not people here don't have anything against porn itself. Some of the leaders of the movement have said that the support the porn stars and their jobs. I guess I can see their point but I am just so angry at what I allowed it to do to me that I wish we could stop it, or at least remove the violence, if nothing else. Before things get better they will get worse, which means we must be strong in the face of our addictions. We can not rely on government or others to be our defenders. We must do this ourselves. Thank goodness we are a strong community and we are growing. We can support each other and fight the good fight.
P.S. Where is here? What place is considering allowing nudity on the cover? Never heard of that.

 

The place being where I live, I've already heard numerous talks about it. Bloody hell there's already people watching porn on public transport, nobody even batted an eye when I saw it.

 

I saw it (and made a thread) about it being watched at my kids school.
Nobody did anything.

 

Nobody cares and it's becoming more acceptable nowadays, and I fear it won't get better before it's worse because it is already worse. If people are already watching and actually masturbating in public, nothing is certainly being done about it so what's next?

 

As a mother of 5?
Idk