Hi. I stopped with PMO on 29.4. Since then, I continue to meet women on dating apps and have occasional sexual partners. The thing is, since I don't have O any other way than sex, and the sex is so "random" - opposed to having a GF and having sex regularly. I last only a short while (with condom). Like only a minute. Sometimes I can go twice, maybe even three times. The second time is better, but still not close to average duration of my sex BEFORE I got onto Nofap. I get the benefits and overall know I won't be watching or masturbating to any porn no time soon. At the same time, I fell that because I get any kind of action so "rarely", I got sensitive. So far it has not been a huge problem, but I feel like it's something hindering my enjoyment of sex. I used to last "normal time", around 5-10 minutes, without condom, with my last GF (5-7 times a week). and now it is considerably less, times a week and minutes also. I think the times a week/month I have sex difinitely plays a role in how long I can last, but not the biggest role - that I think is the fact that I simply don't O any other way. I don't edge, I don't touch myself. Do you have any advice? Even now I don't have sex much often, and when I do, I'd like to enjoy it for more than a minute. Any advice/experiences appreciated
My best advice is to be aware that a large part of PE is mental. At least, that is my experience. Occasionally I would have periods of PE where I would last 15 seconds or less. Once, with my gf, I ejaculated as soon as I was inside! But . . . almost every time that I have had PE, the idea of PE was in my head before it happened. The thought Oh God, no, don't, don't, don't . . . always preceded that moment. I've had similar thoughts before other unwanted spontaneous ejaculations (like while working out). I think it's hard to get those thoughts out of your head once you're in that situation or when your body feels like it's going to O, so probably the best time to work on this is right now, before you're in a sexual situation. Try not to focus on PE so much. Maybe try visualization? Visualize yourself lasting a long time. Oh, one more thing. My gf bought some desensitising lube. It helps I think, though I still managed to O in under 15 seconds once (again, it was all mental) and, for me, I think it helps if I don't know that she's using it or which lube she chose to use.
For me you are doing it great! You are avoiding porn and having fun in the processes, rewiring to real sex. Relax about coming to fast. I have DE, so i would love to have 3 orgasms with a girl in the same night. I can barely have one after a loooooooong time trying. Woman also have multiple orgasm. Use foreplay in between orgasms to keep her wanting more and enjoy the 2nd round.. and 3rd. Your body is still adapting to your new habit of a lot less orgasms per month.. you are going to last longer in bed eventually with time until you get back to your normal length you used to have with your ex.
I usually recommend my clients make it 90 days of abstinence from porn and masturbation before they begin training orgasm control. At that point, you have to begin training yourself through masturbation to achieve a non-ejaculatory orgasm. Due to the nature of our addiction it is a difficult transition to make at that 90 days period, but it's one that I and several of my clients have made without returning to the addictive behaviour.
