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Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by DarkSektur, Mar 30, 2018.
Very good post. Wanted to ask if you have symptoms of anxiety when alone and this part of PAWS...
Are you on hardmode now?
Yeah that’s the hard part for me! It seems like stress is so hard to manage these days. Mood swings and stress on top of it. So exhausting trying to get through each day right now!
How’s everybody doing these days?
I’m still very much having withdrawals/flatline.
I think I’ve gone back into a bad wave, head pressure returned, minor body twitches, gassy stomach, insomnia, sinus problems etc..
Still no primal animalistic urge (libido) like the feeling y’know? Although I do desire a women more so nowadays. Weak erections.. Porn is rather alien to me as well and I look bad on my character who watched that shit in disgust and disbelief now.
Yep i sure do, lots of anxiety and lots of being tired. I spend a lot of time trying to manage my stress levels so i don't feel so bad.
I sure am, have been on hardmode since ive started 2 years ago. I have no interest in sex right now as i just want to get my mental symptoms sorted.
Yep thats been pretty much me for a while now, struggling to get through each day. I experience a lot of anger and small things set me off.
I experienced some good days about a month ago before going back into the nice PAWS symptoms. For me im still getting strong erections in the morning but all the mental symptoms are still there.
These PAWS symptoms are a constant grind for me.
They really are man. The sleepless nights are the worst for me. The insomnia is a bitch, the head pressure keeps me up. It’s a vicious circle. Morning woods have come back but they’re very infrequent at the mo. I just wanna be rid of this hell and move on with my life now, this is beyond a joke.
Two days ago I had a dream related to pmo fantasies. In morning I felt motivated, but once i hit afternoon body aches came back, burning skin on back and neck, stiff neck etc. In night I felt "good" again. This ride on P.A.W.S roller coaster ends slowly. But I do not complain, I'm only on 8 month run so far.
You suffering probably from withdrawals, and from the stress caused from them. Yeah, that trance feeling mean you reactivated those pathways in your brain, do everything to prevent triggers and relapse. If you relapse now you Will fry your brain for months, and you Will suffer even more.
If you get urges try reading aloud, and calculate aloud. 20-25 minutes easy cardio in the morning after wake up should help you too.
If you got gf you can try sex, and see if that helps. For some helps, for others that trigger flatline if they try too early in recovery.
I've noticed some improvement in mood since going back on my paleo diet last week. Kind of a big deal for me since I haven't really felt anything other than relentless anxiety. Had the sweetest dream about meeting and chasing this beautiful black haired girl and then I woke up.
I'm in very much neutral state: not quite depressed but still anhdehonic. No libido whatsoever (I don't expect it to ever return - I'll be happy if I just get my erections back!). Also I'm not responsive to the sight of real and beautiful women and I don't feel anything when conversing with someone.
At the moment I'm just focusing on work, gym and studies.
I am sometimes unable to concentrate when studying, but I manage to soldier through.
It's quite discouraging to see someone whose avoided PMO for 400+ days but still not recovered. Have you had anyone to reboot with, by any chance?
I know it's frustrating, but we really mustn't let this issue affect us psychologically any more than it already has.
Carry on living your life as normal as possible by being productive and busy socially.
Are you sure your symptoms are due to PMO, btw?
Have your tried changing your lifestyle a bit? For example, avoiding screens one hour after and before bed? Reading more, etc.
I know it's a boring lifestyle, but we have to do whatever necessary in order to 'condition' our self back to the social/dating world.
I intend to move out of my parents house around August time this year (still a long way away! ) - so hopefully the environment (my room!) where I subjected myself to years and years of PMO is something I don't have to live in for too much longer.
Yeah man, i hear ya. I feel the same way. Ive tried to force myself out of these symptoms before, ive honestly tried everything in desperation. At least we know that eventually we will get there. The thing that keeps me going is thinking about how exciting life will be once these symptoms have gone. The sad part is you never know when the suffering will end.
The only way is forward unfortunately but at least there are others in the same boat.
Reading has been difficult with the mind fog for many years. I’m only starting to get back into it. I read ‘the daily stoic’ everyday that gets me going for the mean time.
My first run of recovery when I felt I was doing good, I picked up a book and read it in two days.
And yea... I’m definitely sure all my symptoms are related to pmo even the timeline means nothing, people are having two year flatlines now, it’s crazy. I know @saneagain is very much stuck in a bad phase and he’s two years out so it does happen. People need to accept that.
Yea unfortunately you are spot on. There is not really much else other than time to be honest. I have seen a difference in 15 months so I know it does work, it’s just painfully slow. I was in a good wave for what felt like a while, hit with insomnia like a bitch this week 3-4 hours a night sleep each day.
Any update with him?
Last time I spoke to sane he said he felt a bit better, still struggles with dizziness and breathing though.
Ive had shit sleep all week and it’s coincided with spontaneous erections recently. Like I can only sleep for 3-4 hours a night, wired feeling up until a certain time then pass out. Have a midday fatigueness with these spontaneous erections at different strengths. I think I remember this pattern on my first run of recovery back in 2013, I wonder what that is all about? I don’t really have spontaneous ones they’re usually very rare. Maybe the insomnia is doing something to my mind, who knows. Definitely gone back into phase two of recovery, must move forward.
Glad he's doing better....
I think you're close to finish the rebooting process. 3 weeks ago my brain was itchy I think that's a good sign of healing. Even though the head tingling pressure return recently I feel like I'm close to healing.
Hey Big Lebowski! Quick question I have had shit sleep all week, insomnia waking up at 5 a.m. and such myself and wonder if that is hindering spontaneous erections. This is first hat mode reboot for me as well...
Hey, lads. Long-time sufferer of PAWS here (long-time meaning four and a half years or so). I can relate to every last symptom except panic attacks. I experience cognitive impairment to the point where I feel like I'm an entirely different person, a dumbed-down shadow of my former self. I don't have the motivation to do anything except sit and read success stories about this, pretty much, and wishing for a quick fix. I'm young and still living at home, and I'm supposed to get a job, but I feel as though seeking employment is an impossibility with my brain in this state. I feel stuck, and completely inept. Having trouble even writing this shit.
I didn't know my problem was PMO-related until early 2018, and I've been trying to quit ever since. I managed to stay clean from July to late September, and then did another streak from the 1st of October to mid-November. Unfortunately I edged during both of these streaks, and I didn't take things as seriously as I should have. I also slept late nights on a regular basis. I've been trying to redouble my efforts, but it's been difficult to start with this really thick brain fog. However, I made a fresh start on the 1st of January, and I intend to stay on hard-mode for as long as it takes to restore my brain to normal.
Really glad this forum exists, and I'm really glad I know what's causing this life-destroying shit now.
I’ve had symtoms since 2011, Pied/ weak erections round that time as well if I remember. I/we all know how you feel. This habit robs you of everything when you get into this state. No motivation/drive for anything. You lose your sense of identity and you are left with a massive gap when recovering, it’s a scary place. But it’s all about rebuilding.
It is a nightmare working with this as well. Everything is extra hard and any little bit of stress you can’t handle, can’t make decisions for yourself. You become a shell of a man.
Stick with it mate. It is a long an arduous process for people who actually wired their brains to this crap whilst going through puberty. Absolutely no porn at all if you want to recover. Every relapse has kept me in PAWS in my experience and made it worse over time.