Porn has escalated me to extremity, what do I do?

You can do this. If you’re urging a lot, look at that with curiosity, i.e. your brain and body need something and the urging is just going to a tried and well-worn path to self-soothe. Try to figure our what the longing/need is and take some ACTION to address that. Are you hungry, fix yourself a good meal; are you angry, talk to the person in a non-confrontational way or meditate/pray to ask for a Higher Power’s assistance; are you lonely, call up a friend or family member that you haven’t talked to in a while or go meet up for a coffee or drink; are you tired, take a nap or go for a casual walk in nature and be present there and enjoy what you see, smell, hear, perhaps taste. Those are some basic emotions you can reflect about with H.A.L.T. Much deeper ones underlying all of those but that is a start. Write out 10 things you ate grateful for, and post them on the mirror in the bathroom. Lots of ways to go after some positive energy and grasp that into your life, rather than revert to that tried and ultimately unsatisfying self-care method of PMO. You do have the strength within you, and people around you who care and want the best for you. Best wishes.

 

Real good sound advice, I am taking it onboard as well, thanks

 

Of course it's possible, of that there is no doubt.
You reset, and start again.

Shame is one of the powerful emotions we have, it can overwhelm and send you into a spiral of self destruction, don't let it. You have to process the shame, deal with it, learn from it, but then let it go. You can't carry it around with you.

Next time you're tempted, play the tape forward, you KNOW what you'll feel like the next day, stop yourself in your own tracks. Don't let the monster inside you win, you can be the man you want to be, that you were born to be, you must act on THAT version of you, not the twisted monster version.

 

The more I read this forum, the more I see people who have my exact same problem. You are absolutely not alone. I was also exposed to inappropriate material at a very young age and combined with various real-life experiences I won't get into here, it led me down this path.

The hard pill to swallow is there is no easy solution. In the past I've tried half-heartedly to cut down on porn or make changes, and it backfires. It's obvious now that half-measures don't work. I mean shit, if you were addicted to heroin you wouldn't try to moderate your use would you? You'd have to quit entirely and suffer the pain as you get clean. You'll have to do that here. But don't only abstain, as that just creates a void where porn used to be. You need to fill that void with other, better things. I think this is where a lot stumble, I know I did. Exercise, eating right, meaningful hobbies and friendships, and a fulfilling career. Even some of those things will help.

 

Friendships is a tough one, like a lot of men my age (56), we don't really have a lot of male friends, which in turn leaves us isolated and in the modern world of pocket-porn, that leaves us vulnerable. I'm looking into getting a dog, it would occupy my time, give me love and companionship, and would always be thrilled to see me.

 

Hey man, I can relate to your experience too, tons of guys on here can. If you go through the threads it seems like every third one is someone asking the same question.

To kind of expand on Chrisjord’s advice and something that helped me a lot. Try some emotional literacy exercises. Sit down every day and write down the emotions you are feeling, accept them and recognise that they are there to help you by guiding your behaviour, identify why you feel each emotion and what actions you can take to feel more of the ones you like or less of the ones you don’t. Keep doing it every day until it becomes automatic.

 

Tough days mean you're probably on the right path