Photoshop/Editing

If any man suggests to his SO that her anus is too dark and she should bleach it, she should respond by telling him his scrotum is too wrinkly and passing him an iron.

ANH

 

Ah no, that definitely is different. What we share is entirely context-dependant. Go tell a stranger on the street you're a porn addict but will she go out with you?

Also, I think some of the difference here is a difference in relation to what the problem is. I'm not saying communication will lead to you getting exactly what you want - that's not a useful goal or outcome. You may need to compromise.

But here are some outcomes that maybe useful:

- an 'in-between' option. Perhaps she is more understanding of the importance of sex to you and makes more time for sex. Not necessarily every time you want it, but a bit more.
- Maybe, being in an open conversation, she informs you what kinds of actions or gestures get her in the mood. Making sex more enjoyable for her with a bonus outcome of more of it for you.
- Maybe you're sexually incompatible. At least now you're honest about it. Maybe you break up. Maybe she accepts you disappear into a world of (p)mo (I AM NOT ENDORSING THAT!).

Probably some others but I'm not yet finished my morning coffee.

Perhaps. I personally think any generational shift has been more marginal than made out, but that's depending on perspective. Anyway, my point is if you (not 'you', but the abstract PA), end up a porn addict rather than trying to talk, then you are part of the subset of men with communication issues, regardless of how big that subset is.

 

Also, I'm pretty happy to stick to the subject of relationship intimacy, and not get into the whole anal bleaching thing. California is a weird place. Ireland is, as far as I can tell, only discovering botox now.

 

I feel sad for your husband comparing you to those fakes. He can't appreciate beauty in realism and true form..

 

I saw an article once that tracked the history of female body hair. Up until the 80s and even the 90s there wasn’t much pubic shaving going on. It was all precipitated by porn. Little by little women were worried about what society thought about things a generation before they never considered. I have become much less superficial the longer since I’ve dumped P. Maybe if the whole world did it the women would have a lot less stress.

 

the problem with this statement is that by watching porn men get this idea that women are ready to go at any time like they are in porn. ( many women need foreplay or an external stimulation in order to #1 get turned on/ in the mood, and #2 get that much closer to O)
MANY women do not just O from Sex. Other parts must be touched in order for that to happen.
most people including men, i think, would agree that its easier for a man to O than for a women. Its much more involved.
Men also get this idea that women scream at the top of lungs no matter what you do. and that everything feels great and nothing ever hurts.......
that's simply not true.
So if women aren't in the mood and that upsets you, the Try foreplay to get her in the mood. But don't expect her to make noise or respond like people do in porn

I think this may sound angrier then expected and i apologize for that. It is not supposed to.

 

Personally i think if people are totally shaved they look like child.
And i am not into that.

And its so not fair, why must women be the only womens that worry about everything?
I have seen on one of those plastic surgery TV show that someone got a
V lift!!!

Spoiler

Vagina

who the heck gets V surgery? What on earth? I would be terrified.

 

Did you see the episode of friends where they get free cable porn? Then they realize it’s affecting their thinking. Very funny episode, but actually a real warning.

 

Yes, if the energy someone puts into their PMO is redirected into his/her relationship, amazing things can happen!!

 

completely agree.

not sure if i have but it might be worth a google .

 

The Brazilian wax is novel and feels different--maybe a great once and awhile just to ch age things up. But I honestly like some hair down there. I won't go into why __possible riggers__ but I definately don't like the shaved look as a permanent style.

 

What I used for a very short time.
Turmeric, yogurt, lemon juice, rice cereal. It really does help with super soft skin and some helping with lightning up skin tone.

FWI, There really is some scary stuff out there though in regards to the at home bleaching.

 

Ooooo that sounds like it would burn ......

 

Not at all, it’s something I use on my face as it’s incredibly good as a moisturizer. It’s an easy inexpensive oatmeal type paste. I have very sensitive Irish skin with freckles.

As far as the stuff for at home on line, I did see some serious chemical burn pictures that were terrifying. No way and I would never consider that even at a professional salon.

 

i am the kind of person that, when i get old i will be wrinkly. and i am ok with that. old people should be wrinkly.
I shouldn't have to care this much about what i look like. I am not mad P.
P simply capitalized on what society has allowed.
I am disgusted that society has allowed these industries ( fashion, movies, P, TV, etc) to allow us to care whether we measure up.
I am not saying that i am happy with how i look.
but i also have life saving medication to thank for my disgusting self now, but with out it i would prolly be dead.
However SOCIETY doesn't care about that. Society doesn't care if you were some drop dead babe and now you got skin cancer or a debilitating lung disease, you are no longer welcome. You can no longer get leading roles with those scars, or stretch marks etc. Hell they look down on you for having a baby or being pregnant, or not immediately dropping the weight from having a kid.
Its awful the things that this world has taught us to think.
I read something on a some site ( can't remember name of it, will post if i do) But it says how women consider themselves to objects, and not humans anymore.
and it made go Hmmm? Holy crap lots of people do. If you really think about it there may have been a time you did this as well. Women judge their confidence and self worth off of how many guys look at a them etc. If they turn heads they feel loved. ( and i don't mean they just feel hot) i mean they feel LOVED. That could explain why this PA effect SOs differently. Maybe people that have thought like that are more upset because they think they are worthless now since their SO was looking elsewhere even though it had nothing to do with them it was just because they have a problem.
Sorry now i am rambling.
My point was, that its awful to think at how young of an age we are taught to care this much about our looks.

 

@SpouseofPA
Absolutely, I remember turning 30 and feeling great also with turning 40. I loved becoming a woman with wisdom and maturity. I was very happy with my self for the most part. After the birth of my daughter at 17, I had big hang ups with stretch marks and my c section scar other than that I worked really hard on my insecurities but that was the worst one for me to get past. Yes there was a time in my early teens that I had felt that way, confusing love with attention. I believe alot of that was from the childhood traumas I had experienced and young female competitor mind set in high school. After the birth of my daughter I worked incredibly hard on myself.
At the peak of my hubby’s PA use it was quite dismal with his comparison of me with other women, younger girls (early 20 something’s with me pushing 40 at the time), and the countless women in porn. I always heard what they had better and how I fell short. It was emotional abuse, no minimizing it and he knows that now and feels horrible about it. It was slow progression that slowly took hold of me and I started to believe him and that’s something I never thought I would do.
I worked hard to become someone that really didn’t care what people thought of me and for the most part and I was very confidant in my self. His behaviors with my looks shattered that for a time and it took me back to the insecurities and negative thoughts about myself from my early teens and I hated that. He was never like that or had a shallow frame of mind about women in the beginning of our relationship as it was one of the things I loved about him. We have been together 18 years now. I’m 41 and feel great however I still find myself feeling the pangs of it all now and again and I’m working on myself yet again. This time with his help and I’m very appreciative for it. Sorry, now I’m rambling!

 

The Beauty Myth.

 

I’ve been married for 19 years and seriously it NEVER OCCURRED to me to even think about the color of my wife’s butthole.
I never paid attention to someone’s butthole in porn either. I guess it’s just not a part I’m interested in. Lol

 

I can pick my wife's ass out of a lineup. But I couldn't tell you what color her butthole is.

 

I'm still laughing at the phrase "chocolate starfish".