Photoshop/Editing

+ 1000 agree

 

So i just showed my husband (who is the PA) some of the youtube clips on here..... He feels completely Dooped by society. and essentially lied to and made a fool of. He says I dunno what to believe...... and actually as i am writing this im now think OMG he feels "betrayed" by society and his eyes. Great topic i hope it continues

 

Those are great clips. kudos to both of those

Do you know of any others?

 

Both of us? I'm the one who posted them all, lol.

Those are the best ones I know of. I'm not really aware of any others, but since we're living in this sort of "body positivity / I'm-being-super-vulnerable-on-social-media" time, I'm sure there must be others out there.

There's a girl on Instagram who had a thing where she was posting the picture, but then would pull back and show the context of the picture, which showed just how fake the original pic was. Not sure if this girl is the exact one I'm thinking of, but this is definitely the idea:

https://www.boredpanda.com/truth-behind-instagram-photos-cropping-chompoo-baritone/

 

I just realized the original video I posted got pulled for copyright violations. Just go to YouTube and look up "Dove Evolution" and you'll see the viral clip.

 

Forgive me for saying so, but there is yet ANOTHER way that porn women manipulate their appearance not mentioned above: anal bleaching. Yep, most of the "stars" have chemically lightened things "back there" to give a pink coloring.

I have a friend who is a skin waxing/facial salon owner. She tells me that a LOT of her (99% female) customers have their anus bleached.

So, yep, not much natural about the actors in porn.

 

Yup, bleaching and vag rejuvenation! After living in LA for 5 years that crap is advertised everywhere like car dealerships.
My hubby even tried to get me to bleach myself at one point because my “color” was a “turn off” and he’s quite embarrassed about that now and thankfully has apologized to me profusely for that.

 

It depends on the porn, or the fashion shoot, or ad. Basically, anything above complete amateur is going to have enhancements of some kind, from makeup, to lighting, to flattering angles, to retouching. The more money involved, the less is left to chance ⏤ or reality. Something like a VS shoot will involve professional makeup, pro outfitting, a pro photographer with at least one helper, and a pro editor. If you've ever been to a wedding where the bride gets everything done by professionals, it's like that, except in this case the "bride" is a professional at looking good in front of a camera.

So, yes, many models look way different in person. However, while we're facing reality, let's not forget that some women truly are very attractive and it's not all smoke and mirrors. To say that all women in porn or modeling only look better than average due to artificial enhancement is also dishonest. On the other hand, those women who are at the top few percent for looks aren't going to be remotely interested in the average furtively fapping male, either.

 

I just want to add one more point, while we're on the subject of fantasy versus reality.

In talking to other guys and reading articles written by men about why men look at porn, there is one important factor that men talk about that women never seem to pay attention to. Men like porn because the women in porn appear enthusiastic. Just like women want to be desired by their man, men also want to be desired by their woman. You know the "starfish" sex trope, or the "not tonight dear, I have a headache" stereotype? (I'm not accusing anyone here of doing this). Men hate this so much. It makes them feel weak, powerless, emasculated. So they engage in a porn-assisted fantasy where there's a woman who wants to have sex with them.

Over 70% of all dead bedrooms (according to Dr. Willard Harley) involve a woman not wanting sex with her husband nearly as often as he wants sex with her. The dead bedroom phenomenon is on the rise in Western countries and affects a large proportion of couples.

It's not all about looks. Very few men fantasize about hot women who don't want to have sex with him.

But what about the women who chase their men for sex only to get turned down in favor of porn? Yeah, that would hurt. I have observed one common theme here, too. (You won't want to hear it). Men feel best when taking charge. In relationships where women wear the pants, the man is more likely to retreat from sex.

 

There's a chicken and egg problem though. Lots of men get unrealistic ideas about sex from porn, and then retreat further into it when their other halves (reasonably) don't live up to them.

It is unhelpful to go down a path of "well if women give us what we want then we wouldn't be in this mess" (not saying that's what you're doing, but the reasoning veers in that direction).

That said, and I don't know any research on this, but my guess is that, on average, men tend to want more frequency than women. Basing that entirely on the fact that it's a cliche, so happy to be told not.

Anyway, I do get that that can lead to disappointment and feelings of rejection. The solution to which, it seems to me, in a strong relationship, is an open and honest discussion about sex.

We men can be a proud bunch, capable of plenty self-destructive behaviour instead of just talking about how we feel. Again, basing that off it being a cliche.

 

I think this is more the case for younger generations who have grown up with internet porn. However, the problems I mentioned precede internet porn.

That's definitely not my point. Of course, women should bear responsibility for their own actions, just as men should for theirs. But I believe most of the responsibility here lies on the shoulders of men.

Yes, studies I've read agree. On the other hand, men and women express sexuality somewhat differently, so many studies aren't doing a fair comparison. While men may fantasize more about sex, women may read 50 Shades of Grey, or fantasize about something else. However, generally, men tend to be more active and women more reactive in their desire.

Communication is a highly important aspect of relationships, but unfortunately, communication very rarely solves this issue. If the issue is a loss of sexual desire, how do you think that mere open communication is going to get the low libido partner fired up? Might as well read them the dictionary for all the good it does. Sex drive responds to sexual stimuli. That should be logical: do you woo a woman into a relationship in the first place by explaining your needs, or do you do it by being desirable?

I mean, feel free to test it out yourself. Go up to an attractive woman and explain to her in detail all the reasons why she should have sex with you. Come tell me how it goes.

"But that's different! We're not in a relationship!"

The context is different. The results are much the same. You won't build her desire by talking about your needs.

That was true a generation ago. Men these days are usually willing to talk, if they think it will help.

 

Jennica,

You nailed it. Southern California may be the worst in the world. Vaginoplasty and anal bleaching are a giant business. The sickest part is that the trends will be fleeting: pink is the new brown. Someday brown will be the new pink.

I can only pray that men will stop asking for this and that women will refuse to change themselves thusly.

And Sadgirl, be glad you don't live in Los Angeles.

David

 

That seems like an awkward conversation.

"Hey honey. Got this coupon for this salon..its for, ah bleaching your, ummm anus. Wouldn't you love to have a perfectly bleached butthole? Great, right?"

 

Common in Los Angeles. The weird part is that bleaching lightens. Thus brown becomes pink. Someday there will be tattooing pink into brown.

I'll bet ya.

 

True in my case. Sample size of 1. Lol

 

It wasn’t much of a conversation, I was super pissed on the spot with the suggestion. Sad part for me is I did try a natural home concoction to appease him for a few weeks then decided it was bull shit, (with few other words thrown in). I wasn’t in a very good headspace at the time.
We have actually discussed this recently and he feels like a complete ass for it with the P fog lifting and looking back.
This is good example of what the false idolization of women in porn can do in regards to comparing an SO.
Like I said thankfully he has apologized for this and had owned up to it. He has come a long way in that and I have a great amount of appreciation and completely love him for making the progress and taking accountability of that frame of mind.

 

Actually I did get some anxiety and felt shamed about my nether regions after that for a very long time. It was another thing added to a list of my physical faults. Sad part is I knew logically I’m seen as very attractive so that’s why I was more angry with myself for for feeling the shame and low self esteem from it but it was incredibly hurtful for a long time.

 

So the only thing I'm ever bleaching under duress is the toilet. If my hubs thinks my chocolate starfish is too dark, don't look at it. Simples.
I'm also trying to work out what home bleaching would entail. And it's not pretty. :-/