My SO journal

Discussion in 'Significant Other Journals' started by lostintx, Apr 5, 2019.

  1. Lostneverland

    Lostneverland Fapstronaut

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    I’m unsure of what to say, except that you will heal once the grief subsides..I think. You’ve gone through some major changes and challenges...be good to you. What you’re going through is just a moment in time, although it feels like eternity, it won’t last forever.
    Hang in there going one moment and one day at a time.
    Prayers for healing coming your way... :)
     
    Susannah and Butterfly1988 like this.
  2. lostintx

    lostintx Fapstronaut

    The last week has been a bit much. We had our safety meeting with CPS and it sounded like they were planning on closing their case pending a couple of things, but then we got a call from the police department wanting to interview SO... We went to see a lawyer today and it was rough. Talking about everything again was traumatic and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I treated myself to a little takeout breakfast afterwards on my way home and stress cleaned a little, so that was nice, but I'm still feeling upset and stressed...
     
  3. Lostneverland

    Lostneverland Fapstronaut

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    Good morning, just wondering how you’re doing? Haven’t heard from you in awhile. Hope no news is good news.
     
  4. lostintx

    lostintx Fapstronaut

    I've been doing ok I guess. I've started having flashbacks and unwelcome thoughts and I don't feel safe when I'm out with my husband around other women because every woman feels like a threat... I feel powerless over pretty much everything in my life right now, and that sucks, but some of the bigger stuff we are dealing with has resolved, so that's helpful.
     
  5. Lostneverland

    Lostneverland Fapstronaut

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    Good to hear you’re doing ok. Yes the thinking can be consuming, try to stay focused on you...you deserve it. I know easy to type, but sometimes hard to do. I understand your feelings of being unsafe. One moment and one day at a time.
     
  6. lostintx

    lostintx Fapstronaut

    It's been a while since I've last written in this. I have been pretty bad about keeping up with journaling and self care activities. Motivation has been pretty low. All of the big obstacles that we were facing legally have been taken care of, and my husband will be moving back home tomorrow. I am excited about having him home, but I am also a little anxious about how it will go. He has expressed similar anxiety to me. Hopefully reintegration will be seamless, however I also start back to work the week after next. While I haven't been accomplishing much during my time off, so much has happened. I am also anxious about resuming my role at work. Hopefully I will be ok and there will be no inappropriate outbursts (that happened on my last day before I decided to take a LOA). I really do miss my coworkers and patients though.

    I've also been dealing with some gnarly insomnia. I've been up until 0500 the last two nights and up until 0200 or 0300 most other nights. I lay down and my mind starts racing. I need to work on calming my brain down before I go to sleep. Spoke with therapist lady and have some new strategies to try. Hopefully they work.

    Does anyone else find themselves overindulging in food, spending and otherwise whilst dealing with the aftermath of their husbands addictions? It was brought to my attention the other day that I have been using food, beer and spending to numb myself... I hadn't recognized that what I was doing was problematic, but I need to be able to deal with my emotions instead of pushing them to the side where they might come out later in a more destructive way.

    Still dealing with a lot of brain fog and I've been more forgetful than usual lately. Can't wait for that to go away. I need to be able to focus. :(
     
  7. Susannah

    Susannah Fapstronaut

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    umm. Check out what I just posted in my journal. :)
     

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