men have it much harder than women!

One thing I realised rather slowly. Is I can get girls. Just not the ones I'd enjoy showing off. Guys want hot girls. If the standard of girl increases you too must increase your own standards.

 

We are all superfical to a certain extent I get that and we certainly want someone whom we find attractive. I am not sure though if you saw my comments further up about online dating. What I saw from a woman’s perspective is 90% of the men emailing 10% of the women, while the other attractive but not super hot girls got no messages. The amount of emails I got would astound you and after while I did just look at pictures because I had a job to work too! The advice I would give my guy friends is don’t email a girl online that you would not approach in person. See online men all want a 9 or a 10, and then they get angry and resentful because no one emails them back. She’s judging me based on looks, great, but what about the other 90% of women you judged on looks? When it comes to a long term relationship, looks fade, and then what do you have? A hot girl at 20 is what at 60? So do you want a partner or someone other people can look at? I also find that PMO addicts are the worst at this. They way overfoucs on looks, then complain no women want to date them. Plenty of women want to date them, so the choice is be lonely and keep hoping a super hot porn star will walk into your life and love you or find someone that’s attractive physically, but also mentally.

 

I agree with you. One thing I read once was stop focusing on the people that do not want to be with you, you WILL NEVER change their minds no matter how much time you spend getting angry or envious, it does not hurt them it only hurts you. Focus on the people that DO want to be with you and there are plenty trust me, for every single guy posting on here saying they cannot get laid or find a date, i assure you if you open your mind you will see that.

 

Oh I don't bother with online dating because of this fact. I appreciate the advice you're giving out though.

 

Got rejected by my crush, that sucks too.

 

If it makes you feel better, I've had several crushes over the years. Never got with any of them. It is more likely that you will end up with someone that you wouldn't have expected. Kind of how life seems to work.

 

If you understand how male to female attraction works it would all make sense. First they will sense the neediness in you. Second she is only girl (or one of few) that you talk to therefore you don't make her feel special. Third she is 90% of the time out of your league (4/10 nerd going for 9/10 cheerleader for example). Which is natural. Your (emotional/primitive) brain always motivates you to get the best genetic material no matter how attractive you are compare to her.
The conflict between emotional and rational part of ourselves is where most of our psychological pain comes from.

 

Not it man...I just never stepped in and took a swing.

 

I would like to know where did she get this 90% of men email 10%. And that the remaining 90% of women get little or no messages. As far as I know there has been shown statistics (from Tinder or Okcupid I think) that women rate more men less attractive than men women.
https://static1.squarespace.com/sta...188/t/5434327ae4b08dcd08ce626d/1412706939332/
Other thing is that I said before men are the one expected to approach and start conversation. So of course men get less messages and give more. And the idea that most men only want pornstar looking woman is ridiculous. Thats same as saying that most women just want millionaire with nice set of abs.
If you are 7+ you have no problem finding a guy. The thing is will the guy be attractive to you? We can all here argue that ugly people have hard time finding a partner because they set high standards compare to their looks. Your feelings lack self-consciousness. In another words your dick/twat cant see your face. Ugly people have to date rationally.

 

This percentage thing is fun! Let me take a shot. I say that the top 25% of women never make the first move when it comes to online dating, simply because they're too busy reading all their messages and trying to sort through them to see which ones are worth responding to. If you are a guy emailing one of these women, chances are that she won't even get to you before she finds a date with someone that beat you to the punch, so you end up striking out even if you are attractive enough. It's kind of like shopping for a good bargain, you gotta get there before the crowd. As far as the rest of the women, they will message guys. I get quite a few messages, just not from the top 25%. This sounds shallow and objective, but it's sadly how the online dating seen is. Best thing you can do as a guy is put as many messages out as you can, and always be scanning for new women that pop up.

 

Yes I think you are right on point and maybe it’s the top 25% instead of the top 10%. Either way there are a lot of women who get maybe 1 or 2 messages a week versus the top 25% who are getting 30 a day. I got around 30 a Day and I could barely keep up so no I did not message any men. That would just be creating work for myself! I was spending my time answering messages.

 

I think the biggest issue you are having is blaming women rejecting you for you turning to porn, that’s your choice. There are women out there that want to date you I am certain of that and if you are not getting hits online then go offline. Online does not work for Everyone. Women get just as frustrated with dating as men do and just as angry trust me. Why don’t the other women send emails out to men? I suspect that they are also tired of getting no responses to their emails. Online dating is not for those that don’t have high self confidence. If getting rejected will drive you to pmo then I would not even suggest doing it you don’t possess the emotional state to be dating online. It involves a lot of rejection and being able to deal with it is part of building self esteem. Women can smell low self confidence from miles away they can also smell anger and bitterness. Even at your stats you still have the majority of men emailing the same women so how will that work out? If the woman has her pick of 100s of interested men can you blame her for choosing the most attractive or successful?

 

In my Honest Opinion, depend on the girls and guys, both girl/guys had tough time meet their partner regard of their gender(again this is my opinion).

 

Congrats on making the top 25%

 

You may think it’s fun but it was not! The grass is always greener! The men were so nasty. It was like they were taking out their anger on me. “What you think you are too good for me?” “All you Pretty girls are the same you dirty...” fill in the blank. And then the nasty horrible sexual emails. Ugh. My theory is that if men only emailed women that were actually looking for them everyone would get more responses. Like if I said non smoking is a must and have a set age range and location and the man did not fit it don’t email me! That way the emails women got would be less and better matches so the woman would be less likely to overlook great candidates. The few times I did email first I made sure I met the criteria the man was looking for and if I did not I would not email him no matter how hot I thought he was.

 

Social conditioning is to blame for this, not women themselves. We have barriers to being able to express our desire for men that you might not appreciate. We are told when young, “nice girls don’t do that” etc. it is drilled out of us, to a degree. I know you are speaking in generalizations, but there are probably more exceptions than you are aware of.

 

Buzz is so right. EYES are what to look for. If she’s looking at you, it’s a socially sanctioned initiation on her part. Man up, say hi! We are waiting for your response to that cue!

 

Yeah that sucks. I asked a few women that I went on dates with how the other half was and it honestly sounded pretty brutal. Apparently most men have no shame. It's actually quite peaceful on my end. A handful of likes a day and maybe a short but pleasant message.
I agree that you shouldn't message people before looking over their profile to see if you have common interests. I barely message unless I feel that I match what they are looking for, and they usually do respond. But if they don't, I'm not gonna get all bitter and nasty. After all, I ignore most of the messages I get so what's the difference.

 

Haha this is refreshing to read.. Between the fantasy confusion of porn and all the PC warriors telling guys we can't look at women or ask how their day was etc... it can get a bit confusing getting back into the game.