Let's stop pretending, even amongst professed Christians, casual sex is an accepted thing.

For Fapstronauts of the Christian religion

  1. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    I mean it is that prevalent now. I should clarify not accepted officially, but unofficially; meaning they will still officially claim that fornication is still technically prohibited according to biblical precepts. Yes, I am talking even among professed and regular church attending Christians.
     
  2. Waldo101

    Waldo101 Fapstronaut

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    Interesting topic. I agree.

    Among a percentage of Christians, being gay is an evil thing but premarital sex is like drinking a beer.

    According to analysts, many people, including religious people pick and choose their morality.

    Is it logical? Well that's for the forum to decide.
     
  3. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    People love casual sex for the same reasons they love porn. Porn is also gaining acceptance in all circles. There is plenty of diversity on this forum, proof that no category of people are immune to the siren's call.
     
    Jon_972, NF104534, Atlanticus and 3 others like this.
  4. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

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    I've been a Christian since I was 17. That didn't stop me from compulsively using porn and masturbation. It didn't stop me from getting into personal ads and hookup sites. I didn't stop me from sleeping with over 250 women and another 30 (or so) married/dating straight couples. It didn't stop me from having sex with women when I'd barely learned their names an hour earlier. It didn't stop me from repeatedly being unfaithful to my wife, who is the best human being I know.

    The only thing that stopped me was finally realizing that I had a serious problem, needed serious help, and needed to take some serious measures to start getting my life back.

    And yet, somehow, someway, despite all my sin and failings, Christ forgives me and my sins are washed away as if they never happened. That's one thing about Christians who've struggled seriously with this addiction--they develop a deeper understanding of God's grace than the average believer will ever know.

    "For this is what the high and lofty One says--he who lives forever, whose name is holy: 'I live in a high and holy place, but also with him who is contrite and lowly in spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly and to revive the heart of the contrite. I will not accuse forever, nor will I always be angry, for then the spirit of man would grow faint before me--the breath of man that I have created.

    I was enraged by his sinful greed; I punished him, and hid my face in anger, yet he kept on his willful ways. I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him."

    Isaiah 57:15-18
     
  5. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

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    I don't think Iike this. This is shameful. This is exactly why no one goes to church anymore. You say that being gay is wrong yet endorse premarital sex. This is so hypocritical. I'm ashamed as a Christian to know that fellow Christians endorse this type of behavior. I guess I'm one in a million then because I think it is outright wrong. I can't believe you guys are endorsing this.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2017
  6. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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    They technically by definition are not Christians. They just call themselves Christian.
     
  7. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

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    Exactly.
     
  8. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    Do you find that you struggle with the pride that comes from your "conquests"?

    I know someone in a similar situation as you and I've noticed that she still refers to her sexual escapades with pride. I feel like that could potentially be a dangerous result of such a past for a Christian, because at times she forgets that she's built her identity up on something that she now considers immoral.
     
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  9. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

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    I can't believe that Christians think this is acceptable. This is a type of liberal Christianity. Christians can't endorse this and call themselves Christian.
     
  10. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    Anyone who has a mouth, pen, or keyboard can call themselves Christian. It is inconsequential, in God's view, what a person calls themselves - it's what's in their heart that matters. Don't worry how people label themselves - just concern yourself with prayer, the scriptures and your own deeds.
     
  11. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

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    Is no one really gonna address my claims? This is too serious to just wave off. This is why the millennials view sex the way it is, the adults have normalized premarital sex.
     
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  12. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

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    We can't people going around endorsing premarital sex and then calling themselves Christians. That's hypocritical.
     
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  13. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

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    I didn't hear anybody endorsing premarital sex in this thread. From what I could tell, the OP was just saying that in today's culture, premarital sex is unfortunately common in the church. And should we be surprised? This is the generation that grew up with internet porn--internet porn that was mainstream. When I was younger, the only way I heard about porn stars was in magazines. Today, porn stars are featured in talk show interviews, podcasts, music videos, and feature films.

    So don't hate. No one here is glorifying premarital sex, as far as I can tell. I'm certainly not.

    Not really. My problem is sort of the opposite. I've struggled with serious insecurities for most of my life--that feeling of not being good enough. So for me, the constant search for sex was more of a search for validation: because what more intimate and profound way can a woman accept you, other than sexually? I put women on an impossibly high pedestal. I got 100% of my sense of worth and value from whether or not women were attracted to me. If I felt like they were, life was amazing. If it felt like they weren't, life was horrible and empty. My problem wasn't so much lust as it was idolatry.

    I recognize that there are some people who take a lot of pride in their 'conquests'. I don't. The only reason I share that specific number is to show everyone that even a Bible-believing Christian can fall severely in the realm of sex. I also share it in order to show that I've got real credibility when I say this: the kind of fulfillment I was seeking from sex is not to be found in sex. It will only be found in a relationship with the living God.
     
  14. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

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    Yes, but there's nothing you or I can do about it. The best we can do is show, by our own example, that there are Christians out there who follow the scriptures and practice what they preach. Don't worry about the hypocrites - that's not our job. Our job is to set our lamp on a stand for the world and for the authorities and powers in the heavenly realms. (Matt 5:15, Eph 3:10).

    A chasing after the wind.
     
  15. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

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  16. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Superfan nailed it. I'm not glorifying premarital sex. I hate it, as a Christian, I hate sin. But that doesn't mean that I myself don't struggle with sin. I very much do. And I very much struggle with fornication as well.
     
  17. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    The vast majority of Christians don't even know what the gospel is, they're just practicing religion, my pastor calls it "playing church".

    If you truly understand the gospel you don't boast in your moral performance because your moral performance was never the basis of your salvation. Thank Jesus that it was never up to me because I would certainly be headed for damnation.
     
  18. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

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    I think we sit in a seat of judgment when we go around pretending we can know who is and isn't a "real Christian."

    A real Christian is someone who has accepted Christ as their Savior. End of story. I would maybe go as far as to say that a real Christian believes in the fundamental tenets of the faith, like what's outlined in the Nicean Creed, but that's as far as I'd go (this is why I think it's fair to debate on whether or not Mormons are Christians, in the doctrinal sense).

    The truth is that there are "real Christians" all over the world who struggle severely with sin. Now, maybe it seems like they boast externally--but we can't possibly know their heart. For all we know, someone might boast about their sin because they're still caught up in what the world thinks of them--maybe they go home at night and weep over their sin and/or feel horrendous shame and guilt over it. We just don't know.

    It's fine for us to say that it's wrong to boast about sin. It's fine for us to judge behavior. But it's not fine for us to go around saying who is or isn't a real Christian, provided that they believe in Jesus as Savior.

    One of the darkest times in my life came when I was sitting in an airport terminal in Dallas, Texas. The news story about Josh Duggar had just come out: as a married, evangelical Christian--part of a very outspoken Christian family, and an employee of a right-wing religious/political activist organization--his name showed up in a data leak of customers for a popular site for having affairs.

    He had to make a public statement about how he'd "been the biggest hypocrite" and that he needed help. I had friends posting about it on social media, saying he was "a horrible person," "an awful witness for Christ," "a waste of human life," "human filth," and more. These people were friends of mine. Many of them were friends from my church. They were believers.

    My eyes welled up as I thought, "if these people knew my story, these are the things they'd be saying about me."

    Now I've never been suicidal. As I sit here now, I can't possibly imagine things getting so bad that I'd want to take my own life. But as my plane lifted from the runway that night, I vividly remember thinking, "if this plane crashed, I think I'd be okay with that."

    The truth is that we just don't know the details of people's lives, and it isn't for us to go around judging people. We can judge behavior, but judging people is up to Christ, and we can trust that when he does it, he will do it justly, with full knowledge of every person's heart, and without error.
     
  19. Agoodguy

    Agoodguy Fapstronaut

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    I'm sorry. I guess I misinterpreted what you guys were saying.
     
  20. Within Christianity there are Lutherans, Catholics, Jehovah's Witnesses and so on. Just as there are sightly different belief systems withing one big belief system there are also different personal beliefs that varies individually. Some Christians might feel that being gay for example is perfectly fine, some believe sex before marriage is fine and some believe it is sin to even think a lustful thought about anybody but your wife or they will go to Hell.

    There are extremes and anything in between. That's normal in this day and age. And because of this diversity there are no more such thing as "real Christian" when it comes to such differences of belief. Only thing that would make somebody not a real Christian would be if they would not be following Christian God and/or doctrine. Other than that there are simply different subjective perspectives. Calling somebody "not a real Christian", because of slight differences in their beliefs, holds no logical value. It comes from the same place as any type of faith. The idea that exactly Your religion, between hundreds of them in the world, is the right one.
     

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