LAST MEN STANDING FOREVER CHALLENGE daily check in

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Day 21 Check in
The excess energy, motivation and boosted self esteem while rebooting is such a liberating feeling.

 

50 weds
51 thurs
52 today

 

@cami123 has made an important point , know your enemy (PMO) then kick its ass, also its P that makes you feel that way, you are a wonderful person ,you are trying to give up PMO which is a great thing to do , so cheer up buddy.

 

ITS FUCKING OVER BOYS. Porn is blocked on my phone and I’m bringing my laptop to a co workers house TODAY. I don’t care if I can’t record my music, I’ll just fucking PLAY the guitar..: No more fucking sleeping in until TWO OCLOCK because I was up st SEVEN IN THE MORNING WATCHING PORN.

I’m so fucking done with that lifestyle. I started watching porn in 2007 and it’s been an ongoing addiction that has been ruining my life ever since.

 

thats how everybody feels after relapse. Ignore it and just go through!

 

Checkin day 4.

 

Y

You rock!!!!!

 

Day 12
Check in
Had very strong urges last night, glad I managed

 

Day 4-After attending day 2 of the networking event yesterday, I feel enthused that I will really grow and start to connect with others on a deeper level. I used to think I was socially inept but its because of the shame of porn that I become anxious in public settings. I also need to work on my social and communication skills. Someone said on this forum that connection is key in breaking the habit of PMO.
It is a weekend and I haven't planned for anything. However, I don't think staying in the house is going to be an option. Let me start planning to get away from boredom which is a big trigger for me.

 

Right now,thinking about it, I am happy that I relapsed 4 days ago. Why? It has made me learn. It has made me more determined, more than ever. It has made me change my strategy. Even in failure, as long as I learn something vital and do not wallow in self pity for too long and I get back on track, I am still on the journey of recovery. I have learned that self pity after a relapse is inevitable. I can allow myself to feel bad for some hours, not suppressing the negative emotions, feel them fully, refocus, then get back on track. Will I make it? I don't know but

 

Why not? Let's keep trying until we make it.

 

235th day. Cool, all good.

 

Brutal honesty below:
If you don't know if you will make it, then you won't!. You have to know you will make it, that you will do whatever it takes to make it, that you will suffer excruciating discomfort to make it, that you have it in you to make it.
This is too difficult a journey to just fall into it and somehow end up making it. Its ridiculously difficult (hence all the repeated relapses in this challenge), the only way you can make it is to want it so bad that nothing will stop you from making it.
Also, really know that feeling after a relapse so well that you can't forget it, then this feeling becomes leverage against further relapses.

 

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Checkin day 5.

 

Day 13
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I'm going hard mode from today I know I will make it 90days target

 

Thanks for the 'brutal' reminder...he he. What you say is absolutely true! If I don't have that kind of mindset there will be no end in sight...just the vicious recovery-relapse cycle. Also linking absolute pain to relapse will help a great deal.
I am curious. What are your foremost reasons for quitting PMO? You have an absolute and steely determination about your recovery. What also have you done to be able to have such a long streak? I could learn more and use it in my arsenal to defeat this enemy. Thanks!